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A web comic about love, life, and trying to comes to terms with being transgender. Sometimes dark, sometimes light, and always an attempt at a honest look at transexual life.
Updating every day, including weekends!


Recent Comments

@SageGrouse: You know how I said a lot of it has to do with Annie's instability?

Unlike you, she doesn't necessarily feel that she should have worth. She self destructs, even when things are going really well, because she has no concept of herself. Many of the situations she has put herself in, especially drunk, were.. at least somewhat.. deliberate. Her friends already pointed that out to her.
Unfortunately, that part comes from the semi-autobiographical side of Annie. I have had lifelong depression and have never felt self worth beyond my functions of work. It has made me fearless, but it also put me in some very dangerous situations. Until Annie gets it figured out better, alcohol or not, she will just find ways to get hurt.


Bunch of words here and then some more words and then some words you don't have a real account for me to private message, so I have to put it here as a word of caution - Cindi does not take her pregnancy well and drinks heavily during it. So you have been warned that it may be unpleasant that this is strongly implied over the coming year or so. Also a bunch more words go here to make it look like words go words words.

**** Spoiler over *****
2 days ago
@Atelier: The scary thing is, my parents thought the story ended on the previous page.
Am happy
I suspected that this was coming
Telling teenagers...
Perhaps. It has been a LONG time since I was a teenager. I turned 18 in 1970. Yes, I'm 65 now. That said...
As a teenager in the 1960's a lot of teens then floated in a haze of marijuana, booze, uppers, downers, LSD you name it. The Hippie mantra "Do your own thing" or "If it feels good, do it."
And yes it was WAY more loose. The national attitude toward drugs, alcohol, etc was VERY permissive. We had cigarette ads on TV. Ads for beer, ads for wine, ads for all kinds of alcoholic drinks, it was CRAZY.
As a teenager, I was awash in that culture. And yet... in my entire life, from 1952 until today... I have actually BEEN drunk... *twice*. High... NEVER.
Why? I am legally blind. I *knew* as a teenager that I was already "one sense down" and I had enough common sense to know that a girl (I am cisgendered but fluid) drunk was likely to get into a LOT of trouble! I knew it and I AVOIDED it like the proverbial plague. I really wish I could sit down with Annie and talk to her. She knows she has gotten physically assaulted, attempted rape, etc... and yet... *sigh*
And yes, I was in a FAR worse place than Annie is. I was hated, taunted, assaulted, much the same way she is. I had ADHD, fetal Alcohol Syndrome and learning disabilities *decades* before they were known to medical science! In that age I was just "the weird girl" who was a punching bag for everyone else. Drunk, I would have been murdered. And I knew it. I feel so bad for Annie (and yes, I know she's semi-fictional) because I lived her life... except I had NO circle of friends, and excelled at nothing. I was alone. Completely absolutely utterly alone. With no diagnosis at all. all I knew was that I was defective and there was/is no cure. I could have fallen into a bottle and not come out... but I would be dead today. As the artist... can you have someone in the strip give Annie a huge warm hug? She doesn't have to know it's from the 3-D world. :)
April 27th, 2017
@SageGrouse: Alternately, it could be that it is very easy for her to get drunk because it simply isn't handling things. Basically, it doesn't filter as well any more, which is why it takes so little to get her intoxicated. Likely her hormones and anxiety medications are at a lower dose because of this.

As for the Bernts not telling her? Maybe they already know that Annie can't get surgery because she can't get anesthesia. Or maybe they know that you can't tell a teenager not to drink and expect them to not drink.

In entirely non-trivializing terms, Annie's body is the least of the Bernt's concerns right now. I'm not big on the whole 'gatekeeping' process that some trans people need to deal with, but for those with unstable personality and personal care, it is very important to handle the psychology first. They allow drinking right now because it gives them time to keep developing Annie in to a full person and able to talk to the approval board.

I get what you are saying and I agree. I simply think that it isn't as cut and dry as it might appear at first.
Annie Needs to STOP DRINKING
Annie is damaging her chances for surgery EVERY time she gets drunk!

Alcohol damages the liver. If she cannot handle alcohol (and we know she cannot. One or two drinks and she is falling down!) because of her damaged liver, she certainly cannot handle the anesthesia AND the hormones she is taking AS WELL.

THIS IS KEY and *why* the Bernts don't tell her straight out that this is so is beyond me! Annie is literally tearing her liver and pancreas APART and every drink DELAYS (and will eventually eliminate altogether) her SRS surgery!! Not to mention placing her at risk for Type 2 diabetes, cirrhosis, AND pancreatitis!! Foolish child! Foolish doctors!!
Don't come to TX
@GreenKrog: If you can't stand steamy air then I suggest not coming to visit TX. I'm acclimated to TX summers and I have been laid low more than once by the heat during early summer. My biggest problem is heat coming off the roads when I'm riding my bicycle. 145F air temps with humidity will drop the hardiest on a long ride.
April 26th, 2017
@Opus the Poet: I scorch my skin like a happy lobster when I shower. Apparently I change colours and everything!

Weird thing is, I can't stand steamy air itself, makes me overheat. So I have to shower with the doors wide open or in a hot tub outdoors or I start passing out from the intense heat.
I love a good hot soak
After being hit countless times by cars, sometimes with intent, I love getting a good hot soak and unlocking all those muscles. The shorter time I have the hotter the soak, I can stay all day in a 100F bath, but if I only have 15 minutes then it has to get to 140 for the same effect.
NOT "the Bag" *I* Was Thinking of...
When I saw the comment "Hit that bag"... well, here is what I would have done in her place: "I do NOT want you to do this... but since you INSIST... let's have a feel..."
GRAB!! T-W-I-S-T!! YANK **GOUGE** and I wouldn't stop until the guy lost consciousness... or was permanently parted from his "goodies"!!
The reminiscing scenes are so much better when the audience was actually there for them. This is infinitely better than any backstory noodle incident.
April 20th, 2017
@Opus the Poet: Not at all! My ex girlfriend has a nice thick full moustache she shaves. I know that some races are more predispositioned to facial hair as well, so said ex (from Taiwan) sees many a woman there with furry faces. It is just the norm and nobody cares or questions the femininity of the person.
I'm not one to take the SJW side of things, but there are some times that the 'western beauty standard' is bullshit.
Not just trans people
My wife and mother of three has been shaving since puberty, so it's not just transwomen who have to shave.
April 14th, 2017
@Mint: Sweet googly mcboogley that is a lot of typos. I would be impressed if I wasn't choking on my own self-rage! I joke, everyone makes mistakes, this just came in impressive numbers.
Thanks for pointing it out so I look less derpish to everyone else who doesn't read it at 3:36 AM!

I think brown haired cheer captain (they never actually get names. The other cheerleaders might, but, the captains don't. That's why the page 'uncloned' was named that way, because they are intended to be interchangable until now). Anyways! The BHCC isn't trying to push an agenda, she just doesn't want this hanging over everyone's heads. Sort of like at the start when Wendy wanted to know if Annie is gay. It does get explained in a later page, but the crux is that if something happens to Annie because of her condition, and she needs help, and the paramedics and staff are mistreating her (like they did at the high school dance), then the cheerleaders can help Annie properly. Not everything is an act of maliciousness, sometimes having info is just important to have. My friends and I sound incredibly racist when we are all together, but because I know where they are from initially I also know how best to honour their heritage as they can honour mine. (Not that being born in Calgary to white parents is a heritage). While race doesn't matter to us, which is why it is such a joke when it matters so much to other people (in privileged Canada, keep in mind), it means that we can celebrate Chinese New year as well as the Dōngzhì Festival in Taiwan.

Add this in to the page before where BHCC was essentially trying to normalize being trans, and this all makes sense. To my friends and I, yeah I'm trans, and yeah we make jokes, but it is absolutely irrelevant except when it becomes relevant. I joke about the size of their penis, they joke that I used to have a penis, we all laugh. There is no power to over me any more with them, and if someone in public was to make a remark they would bring down the fires of hell on that person in my defense. The cheerleaders would do the same for the lesbians on their team (except, you know, Zora). So if it is normalized for transgender people, then they would be able to do the same for Annie.

I hope this is a long-winded and thorough explanation of my thought process in to her though process. I am not by any stretch saying it is EVER right to out a trans person against their will. But I AM saying that demonizing her is anithetical to group dynamics and to those who genuinely want to help the trans community.
Mint (Guest)
April 14th, 2017
Panel 1: 'Anie', panel 4: 'is there's a witch', panel 5: 'on THIER practice'
And I don't really get what answer she is aiming for. What is bothering her so much?
Sorry about that. I was getting my life together. I got a job as a teacher and while I'm not out like I would like to be I'm able to help out the trans student in my class which is nice. My work schedule just gets hectic and I have to binge the comics when I can. I'm still behind on every other trans comic but Rain at this point. But anyway sorry for bothering you and just wanted to let you know I appreciate the continued work and that your work inspires me to be a better teacher so have a good one!
April 12th, 2017
@Transgressingwaffle: It is good to know both of us are still here. Things, even if they don't get better, at least sometimes don't get worse.
Nice to see you again. I do wonder when the regulars stop posting for extended periods.
Holy cow! Long time no speak, but I finally had a chance to read through the hundreds of updates I missed and I can not wait for the next update! I hope all is well with you and I'm so happy you continue to make these pages. They really do help out!
April 12th, 2017
@RagefulCynic: I disagree. She may be simply trying to normalize it, so that people can stop the rumours and move on and just enjoy the weekend. It was clearly misguided, but that doesn't necessarily make it malicious. After all, her mom did spend the night trying to teach her that it is no big deal and that sometimes people just happen to be trans.