Webcomic Profile: Wildflowers

Description

Wildflowers
A web comic about love, life, and trying to comes to terms with being transgender. Sometimes dark, sometimes light, and always an attempt at a honest look at transexual life.
Updating every day, including weekends!

Authors

Latest Comments

Comment on Normal
GreenKrog, 15 Apr 2014 04:56 pm
@MediocreArts: http://whatsnormalanyway.net/
"What's normal anyways" is a web comic about a transman.

If you want to talk overthinking, here is my line of reasoning (and honestly, I overthink every sentence I write in Wildflowers).

Normal is to be in accordance with a set of rules or principles, conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern. Basically, in human terms, it is 'normal' to have five fingers on each hand, a single set of reproductive organs, a mind that is free of schizophrenia, etc.
In sociological terms, it is adherence to the average of society. For example, it is normal to have black, brown, red or blonde hair - it is not normal to have blue hair. The average of North American society is to have a generally congruent gender expression to your primary sex.

However, in this case, when Annie is talking about feeling normal, even if it the bad kind of normal - this is a way of connecting to horrible things that happen that was, while not on the majority side, still considered prevalent enough to be normal. To be sexually assaulted can be considered normal as it occurs with something sick like 1 in 3 people. So what Annie is saying that, she can't be normal in the good way (to be physically loved by someone who cares about her) but she could find normalcy in being sexually assaulted.

This particular strive to normalcy can be found in a large many of transgender people, and to a greater extent, in people suffering depression and self worth problems. To fit in with a group of people, even if it is a people who have trauma, is better than to be alone, in the minds of some. It may not be healthy or productive, but at least they aren't alone.

Not surprisingly, this is the vantage point I wrote this from. To get entirely personal, because, what do I have to lose at this point, this is what I meant when I was victim blaming myself. I knew full well that this man I was taking home would not be a good experience. I knew that I wasn't ready and he didn't love me. There was no sane or logical reason to take him home, but I did, because I wanted to feel normal. Not like an untouchable monster. Even if it was the wrong kind of normal, at least I would feel something.
In this way, I am saying that yes, it was my fault. Does it excuse his actions? Not at all. But his actions also could not have taken place if I wasn't putting myself in the situation.

I hope this supplies context to some people out there, specifically ladyarkitekt, if she reads the full comments. It needed to be said.
Comment on Normal
MediocreArts, 15 Apr 2014 04:11 pm
Mind=Blown
"Normal wishes it was me"... I like that saying. There's no such thing as normal right? Whats the right kind of normal, and whats the wrong kind? and if it did exist, what is normal anyways? A kinder word for "stablized?" which I don't get at all...

Maybe I'm overthinking this? Ah whatever, I'm just glad Annie got friends on her side <333
Comment on Normal
stickygirl (Guest), 15 Apr 2014 02:58 pm
Faceplant...k... but glad she has Lexi as well
Comment on Normal
GreenKrog, 15 Apr 2014 02:01 pm
@stickygirl: Psst. That other girl is Andrea.
Comment on Normal
stickygirl, 15 Apr 2014 01:45 pm
...a girl's best friend. Im so glad she has Lexi
Comment on Too Close
Ladyarkitekt (Guest), 13 Apr 2014 05:25 pm
@GreenKrog: I'm not sure if you meant me as "the person who posted a few months ago", but I'll step forward and say that, whatever happened to you, if you consider it rape or not, it happened, and I'm very sorry it happened.

My concern is when rape is projected as a "if you do [x], you're more likely to be raped, so take responsibility, don't do [x], to protect yourself." My frustration is when people insist that people should not be themselves- dressing how they wish, drinking if they wish, hanging out at parties if they wish, because of the risk of rape.

Because, even what is happening here, to Annie, could have happened to her whether she were sober or dressed less feminine or any number of things that you had mentioned before "make targets" out of us.

And I feel like most people shame us who "didn't fight hard enough", saying that we deserved what happened because we "put ourselves in that situation". My hope is that people will get away from that, that "personal responsibility" will be applied to the perpetrator, not the victim. Because, as you say, no one, regardless of their actions, should have to handle that. Ever.

And I want to open my arms to anyone who was hurt, and say "You are not alone. You did not deserve this, you did nothing wrong." Because I know that pain of feeling that I did something to deserve what happened, a year after the fact, even though I know better from a logical standpoint.
Comment on Lateral Action
Guest, 13 Apr 2014 02:35 am
Don't we all wish we could go back and delete stuff! OK so it might be a weird way of saying what happened, and you could have claimed it was fictional, but you didn't, it wasn't, and do you srsly think your Mom, or people her age, never had this happen? Trans* or otherwise, this kind of thing is all too common and continues to get brushed under the carpet - because 'it was our fault for leading him on'.

Thank you for telling it like it is GK <3. Tea with sugar is always good after throwing up
Comment on Too Close
stickygirl, 12 Apr 2014 11:12 am
But you were traumatised by it all the same. If someone here is awarding merit badges about how bad an experience was/wasn't or that 'my pain is worse than your pain' they are misguided. Lets not have victims falling out over the size of their scar FFS - lets deal with the real issue. Of course you're justified talking about it. I don't need to stick my head in a fire to know it will get burned. This is a societal problem and denying you 'the right' to talk about ( and do it so well btw ) is just making the problem worse. Silence makes it worse
Comment on Too Close
GreenKrog, 12 Apr 2014 04:47 am
@stickygirl: Difference is, and it has been pointed out, it never happened to me. So I can't talk about it because it didn't happen. I'm quite sure that the person who posted a few months ago will be quick to point that out too.

I didn't allow nothing, because nothing happened.
Comment on Too Close
stickygirl, 12 Apr 2014 04:43 am
Then we're ashamed and embarrassed about what happened, which is nuts, but it's because we want everything to be normal like it was before, so we try to fit what has happened into a normal social context - hence embarrassment. We do not have the emotional expression for these things when they happen - it's like an other-worldly experience, as though we were trying to describe a colour we'd never seen before: how do you do that?

Maybe if rape was talked about more and not hushed up? Maybe if we had the emotional language to describe it? idk As if the physical trauma weren't enough, the sense of isolation, through the lack of empathy by friends and family, makes it so much worse. We end up frightened to tell other people for fear of upsetting them or because the authorities investigations will further strip away our sense of identity and control. All these thoughts flood our minds, as though their presence confirms our loss of control - we can't even stop our damned thoughts.

But we have to, because to tackle it for what it is, rape, is to be strong. We're going to have to live with that memory for ever, so the sooner we take back control, the sooner we stop it becoming the thing that defines us: it doesn't. The victim has to understand they are still the same person and they have to reconnect with who they were before. Most important of all, they have to believe - It wasn't their fault.

You allowed nothing GK. It wasn't your fault.

( I don't know how this works GK - if this gets published automatically, but I wouldn't expect you to publish anything directed at you ad hominem. You're the boss and this is 100% your site <3 )

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