Webcomic Profile: The Black Bird


The Black Bird
A bl/yaoi sketch webcomic that revolves around Irie Lloyd, a supposed-to-be normal 19-year old college student, turned out to be a reincarnation of "Raven". Raven is one of the oldest noble pureblood vampire known as the Black Bird. His bestfriend, Ian, who turns out to be an Astral Fox. The cat he's petting for years, Lily, who turns out to be his old familiar back then (a cat demon spectre). And the wolf who he sealed for long time, Lyall, who turns out to be his past lover. What will happen to Irie's normal human life? Would it remain the same? What are the secrets to be told about his own whole-being?

A Story about A vampire, A wolf, A fox and A cat on Quadrangle Love Affair.

Read from LEFT to RIGHT please. Thank you.


Latest Comments

Comment on pg09
'Ryn, 12 Apr 2015 03:21 am
"I absolutely won't let them to get "him" once again."
Should be either:
1. "I absolutely won't let them get "him" once again."
2. "I absolutely won't allow them to get "him" once again."

Also consider dropping the "once" - it would sound more emphatic without it.

"it is about time for him and that guy awakening afterall"
should be:
"it is about time for him and that guy to awaken after all."

"our 1st subject"
should be:
"our first subject"

Avoid using numbers in dialog unless it's something like an apartment number or license plate.

"we could stay longer"
should be:
"we can stay longer"
Comment on pg08
'Ryn, 12 Apr 2015 03:15 am
"Tell me what yer guys plannin'"
Um... this one's confusing.
1. "Tell me what you guys are plannin'"
2. "Tell me what your guy is plannin'"
Comment on pg07
'Ryn, 12 Apr 2015 03:11 am
"What's cute in him?"
Should be:
"What's cute about him?"

"My life is [ ] thin"
I don't even know what that word is.
Comment on pg06
'Ryn, 12 Apr 2015 03:07 am
"Well I kinda prefer this kind of lifestyle than being an eye candy"
Should be:
"Well, I kinda prefer this kind of lifestyle over being eye candy"
You seem to use "well" a lot, keep an eye on that.

"I can feel their gazes at me"
should be:
"I can feel their gazes on me"

"Well except for this certain guy"
should be:
"Well, except for one certain guy"

"For some reason he likes me to hang out with."
Should be either:
1. "For some reason he likes to hang out with me" <- Recommended.
2. "For some reason he likes me to hang out with him."

Should be:

Maybe put parenthesis around the LOL?

"This scene is like from one of your school dramas"
Should be either:
1. "This scene is like something from one of your school dramas."
2. "This scene is like something out of a school drama." <- Recommended.
Comment on pg05
'Ryn, 12 Apr 2015 02:56 am
"what could be any boring than this?"
should be:
"what could be more boring than this?"

"Well, Gazelth is my family's surname - well you could say, a foreign name in this country"

1. Get rid of a "well" - try not to reuse the same words too close together (doesn't count for words like "to" or "the").
2. Placement of the second comma is weird.

"I tried to be so simple and dull everytime I go out."
Should be:
1. "I've tried to be so simple and dull every time I go out."
2. "I try to be so simple and dull every time I go out."

"People can get easily attracted by one's looks, and not puttin' on airs,"
Should be:
"People can get easily attracted by one's looks and, not putting on airs,"

"many people do go after me since I was a kid."
Should be:
"many people have gone after me since I was a kid."
Comment on pg04
'Ryn, 12 Apr 2015 02:46 am
"I feel so retard"
Should be:
"I feel so retarded"
While "retard" or "retarded" literally means "slow" it used to be used to describe developmental delay (retarded development = slowed development), and eventually started being used as in insult akin to "stupid." At this point it's a very horrible thing to call someone, and is used as an ableist slur against people with conditions like Down Syndrome and Autistic Spectrum Disorders.

In other words, regardless of which meaning you intended, you should probably just avoid using this word.
Comment on pg02
'Ryn, 12 Apr 2015 02:27 am
"lonesome wolf"
Correct if your intent is to convey that he actually wants to be with others, but "lone wolf" is what you want if the intention is just to say that he keeps to himself.

"would you want to come with me?"
Sounds awkward in this context.
1. "do you want to come with me?"
2. "would you like to come with me?"

"you didn't even flinched"
This should be either:
1. "you don't even flinch" <- Recommended
2. "you haven't even flinched"

("you didn't even flinch" is another grammatically correct option, but the tense doesn't really work with "even after seeing")
Comment on pg00characterprofile01
Akira (Guest), 04 Apr 2015 12:06 am
I'm already thinking that this should be a BL otome game from the front page. xDD
Comment on ch3pg5
SaraAnne (Guest), 02 Apr 2015 07:03 am
at first I thought this was stupid and was going to stop but now I wanna keep reading! so good! Kepp up the good work I love this comic.
Comment on ch3pg5
Yo-Yo, 29 Mar 2015 11:14 am
O.O "Procreate" . . . . Two male characters. . . . Oh boy, you're gonna' have fun explaining how that's gonna' work.


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