The Quest for Confidence, Love, and Peace

The Quest for Confidence, Love, and Peace

by Captain Ghost
A sketch journal + blog, to be more precise.

This is mostly for my own benefit, something I can look back on down the road. All the same, anyone is welcome to pop in for discussion or to say hi...
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The Quest for Confidence, Love, and Peace

A sketch journal + blog, to be more precise.

This is mostly for my own benefit, something I can look back on down the road. All the same, anyone is welcome to pop in for discussion or to say hi...

Recent Comments

Most of what I remember from bungee jumping is that the dude up top did not wait for me to make up my mind and pushed me off the platform 8/ bastard. To be fair, I do remember contemplating my life decisions (same for the below two situations though, come to think of it, heh) once I went to take that first step. The mind just goes 'nope.'

god that sky diving pic though has been my FB profile pic for ages now hahaha.
I remember skimming through the pics the dude had taken when I went down and had a bunch of me smiling and being all okay n stuff and then THAT PIC, I looked hella terrified and it made me laugh so much. At least that one I was not in control of, so much... It's like. Welp. You're harnessed up. You're hanging out the plane now, yikes. Annnd... the dude you're diving with decides it'd be fun to flip out of the plane, nice

Uncle took us to a bunch of cliffs when we went camping a week or two ago, my bro, pal, and cousin just watched but my other cousin n I went up and jumped. Only 30 feet high I think? We would have gone to the 40 foot one had we seen it but I think we tunnel visioned pretty hard when we got up there, heh. Cousin just went 'Well, not gonna stop and think about it' and jumped off, leaving me up there to, of course, stop and think about it 8) but down I went, eventually.


Good stuff.
I find tubing just as terrifying, if we're honest. Heard too many horror stories with tubing @w@;;
Given my last comic before resuming here was from... October apparently (whoops), and I never got around to the 2016 recap comics I'd meant to do earlier this year... and so, I guess I never wrote about losing my cat.

She passed late November. (November does not seem to like my cats... That's two, now.)

It was rather haunting one day, groggily waking up a week or two after it happened and just randomly experiencing the sensation of little paws on my bed... It's been a while now but some days I still quite miss her <3 Dream was a good cat.

(the link just goes to a picture of her)
Even if I've no clue at this point where I'm heading, I still gotta at least try. I dunno. Something'll work eventually... probably?

(wow, two comics in two days, go me)
2017 hasn't been much to write home about.
I did get a job in December of 2016 (underwent training for tech support), kept it up until about mid-May when my stress levels up and went 'Nope. No more of this.'

I think I've been feeling burnt out - to varying degrees - since even before I started school, which was back in Feb of 2015. Things just sorta spiraled a bit during/afterwards.

Still... I don't remember ever feeling quite so lost or uncertain as to what's supposed to be next in life than I am now.
I'll often go through these short lived bursts of 'yeah!! I'm gonna turn things around!' but it never seems to last long --
hell, even in those instances I've no clue of where to start.

I love seeing and hearing stories of people doing better now than they were, years or months ago or whatever
And I -Know- it takes time and effort. but.
hell. I wish that were me.

(Bah. 'pologies for the vent. As a side note: I really miss doing comics.)
@troblsomtwins829: Thank you c:

and that is very true! No time like the present indeed!
I've got a good feeling about this week, motivated and ready to apply.

Best of luck to the both of us ^^
Happy Thanksgiving
No time like the present! I'm actually looking for a job myself, just finished my fifth application today simply because I cannot bring myself to do much of anything else.
Have had a lot of days like this since moving. Need to just sit down and... DO IT. I guess.
Though that's been the intent more often than not. . .


Anyway, happy thanksgiving to any o' my fellow canadians out there celebrating it today or tomorrow.
Captain Ghost
October 9th, 2016
Was motivated the other day to doodle up a cover for SJ's upcoming overhaul. Kinda like how it turned out. c:
I'd like to start updating more again.
It feels nice to draw comics.

We'll see how it goes I guess.

It's been... well. It's hard to describe how it's been.

/shrug
I don't know when it happened, couple decades ago at some point I up and decided I just... really didn't like water. Didn't like being around it, didn't wanna touch it let alone swim in it, meh, meh

I guess I'm slowly getting better with it over the years. I don't mind being on a boat now, at least. And I think I'ma give swimming a shot this summer since we put the pool up and I've been looking for ways to exercise that don't involve just... walking or running... We had been throwing the frisbee around but it's been awhile since then.

Anyway. I dunno.
I think I like to sabotage myself a lot sometimes... probably due to stupid fear. Fear of what? The unknown? Failure? Hmm.
Was feeling ick yesterday so I just curled up in bed
and
yeah
I think I got picross the day before??
... It's pretty much the main reason I downloaded Miitomo ahahahaha. Needed them coins to get me some picross ewe (though it is neat learning more about my friends so far, so I guess it can stay)...

Half the reason I always grabbed the newspaper on my way to school in the morning was for the puzzles, heh.
I'm not leaving 'cause I want to.
That's the annoying part.

Having to leave just reasserts in my mind how badly I failed myself over the past year-ish.

Which is really not the mind frame I need to take if I wanna move forward and upward already ... I'm just having a harder time shaking it than usual, is all.

Change can be tough. Not enough change can be tough.
Gotta find the middle ground, I guess .___.
I keep meaning to get back to it. . .

More soon, I hope. I'm finally out of school.
It didn't... go down like I wanted it to. At all.

but c'est la vie, I guess. I gotta muster up some get-up-and-go~

I've been eager to get working on comic projects again the past while, I just gotta learn to act on it~

Anyway, hope you're all doing well.
Still not over it.

Man, that gave me some whack sort of out-of-body experience as soon as I realized it.

;_________________________________________________;
@terrorbunny: Oh man, those sound... like they'd make for interesting stories hahaha~ One can but imagine...
So I'm #undertaletrash now...

... Yeah. I've been. A bit obsessed. It's helped blow off a bit of steam while trying to catch up on school stuff.

... sans i'm so sorry ;__; please be my friend again please
you would not believe how many of these I have, I can totally relate. The latest ones i've found are, "death bed pennies" and "jelly star bunny" lol =___=
I don't get why I leave myself such cryptic notes, sometimes. I gather they're supposed to 'trigger' something but... nope. Haven't the slightest clue what my past self was expecting me to draw for these, hah.

It must be linked to whatever that tendency is I have that involves hiding stuff and then not being able to find it again later...

Anyway, sorry for the absence... School is really kicking my derriere. I... haven't been doing so hot. The more things change, the more they stay the same, eh? ... hrm...
Ughhh I miss comickingggggggg

I feel like I haven't done near any art just for myself since school started... I'd like to change that, if possible >_<

School's kept me busy, yeah, but mostly it's my time management/lack of motivation to do nigh anything that've been kicking my ass and stressing me out half to death.

This last week in particular got pretty awful, one of the lowest points I've ever felt in all my years being alive...
But a simple spam text seems to have miraculously snapped me out of it.

Funny how life works, sometimes.
At some point after we'd all (my mom followed after my bro and I switched work sites - same company though) made it to the other place, our cousin, who'd been at that site prior, managed to switch onto our shift

(the two shifts were alternating, didn't crossover, so we never really got to see him except when he was on his way out and us on our way in, and vice versa)

well

this started up a sort of... 'duel'
My bro and our cousin challenged my mother and me to an epic series of foosball.

Every shift, we'd do a best out of three...

... until finally, it was decided...

THE TRUE CHAMPIONS NEEDED TO BE CROWNED.

Well. I'm not sure if I had horseshoes or if we were just clutch as hell, but my mom and I pulled it off |D (even despite being far behind the lead a good few times ahahaha)

and naw
I don't usually gloat much
but when it's your bro and you know he'd brag away ... pfff :V all in good fun, anyway.