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by Kique7
An "Asmundr" sequel.
"It has been 2 years since the plague of the Shield Wolf was defeated, but the plague of human kind has begun and the pack of Asmundr were left with no choice but to leave their home.
While "Father" is doing all he can to restore the balance on planet Earth, the pack must face the new world Aedra on their own."
Updates on Saturday.

Soundtrack- https://open.spotify.com/user/revolver00/playlist/4ud2ezvgawPDXzhk8gHQ9S
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296
Updates
Saturdays
Last Update
3 Days Ago
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Home

An "Asmundr" sequel.
"It has been 2 years since the plague of the Shield Wolf was defeated, but the plague of human kind has begun and the pack of Asmundr were left with no choice but to leave their home.
While "Father" is doing all he can to restore the balance on planet Earth, the pack must face the new world Aedra on their own."
Updates on Saturday.

Soundtrack- https://open.spotify.com/user/revolver00/playlist/4ud2ezvgawPDXzhk8gHQ9S

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Recent Comments

GnomeQueen
July 31st, 2017
Asmundr Talk
I feel like the next time we see the Asmundr Pack they might be a registered Tribe. I was looking over the info charts and figured that since there are two separate info Guilds operating at once, and that Axilyah and her Guild were apparently late, the other Guild might've already finished their rounds and met the Asmundrs.
I also can't wait to see the new additions to the Pack! I hope that they've helped them settle down in Aedra.
Dunkin
July 31st, 2017
LOL the look on Rhov's face in the last panel makes me giggle - He's so animated XD

I'm excited for the next page!
TheMajorBando
July 31st, 2017
Ranach looming
@Wolf-X26: Yep. Ranach is right at the gates of the MT. We shall see what happens...
TheMajorBando
July 31st, 2017
Shout-out for ANL and some Aedra map-related observations
Wow, it's been a while since I commented here! I've been reading "All Night Laundry," an interactive (pseudo-)horror comic by Zach Hall. If you haven't read it, check it out--it's phenomenal!!!

Anyways, I love how this story is progressing! :D The budding friendship between Rhov and Rogio makes my heart happy. ^_^ Also, I am SO glad that Keirr found Aira! I'm looking forward to their adventure together.

Speaking of adventures and journeys, I'd like to comment on Kique's exquisite map of Aedra. I've always had a fascination with fictional maps, from Redwall to Narnia to Lord of the Rings. There are some very interesting place-names here, especially in the southern region: "Howling Catacombs," "Meadow of Elves," and "Wolf Lagoon" to list a few. I can't wait to see these locations!! :D
Jonnaisgood
July 31st, 2017
@Zenqi: That would be the uninteresting way out :L
Adana
July 31st, 2017
@Sepia: Aww don't you worry^^I was a former dA user (2016 start Home) too! Just avoided it as it was more hostile against critical thoughts, also some of the opinions were rather strange for me. Also I feel discussions were more deep and interesting, but that might just be my own experience, as I know on dA there were some readers with long thoughtful comments as well, as I remember CA for example.

One thing I wanted to mention, just forgot about it yesterday, regarding the "I'm an adult" thing I read soo often in the different comment sections: I don't know about you guys, but since I studied in the literature/writing direction (and now working in a entirely different sector lol...life sometimes) and worked some years in a big newspaper, I can definitely tell: the harshest critiques I got always from adults, persons in their 40+. It isn't immature to make harsh/honest and yes, even snarky critiques, as it's totally common in work/adult-life. ESPECIALLY in the creative sector, as professors often are extra mean to students to test them, if they will get defensive/snappy or take the critique to heart, just accept it (which is recommenced) or at least battle the critique VERY open and self-reflective and still accept it...and could learn that sugar critique is more unusual in the future.

So yeah, you need an incredible thick skin or otherwise they will destroy you. I by no mean say we all should now make snarky critiques though XD don't you worry, it is perfectly fine the way it is, as this comic still is a hobby/free to read, just saying it regarding many critique-at critique I read here and on dA over the years (not from Kique though, but some of his fans) and it is simply not true, but maybe some aren't aware, so I thought I mention it. I mean, left alone reviews who are devastating very often XD.
Zenqi
July 31st, 2017
@Jonnaisgood: Well my guess is that maybe he is really confused and he doesn't know the guild? but i could be wrong. o3o
Jonnaisgood
July 30th, 2017
But seriously though, is Roamer okay? He looks like he needs to talk to someone.
Wolf-X26
July 30th, 2017
Not gonna lie... I see Ranach close to MT grounds(the map). A little happy he coming back lol
Jonnaisgood
July 30th, 2017
Feaf
I really hope as said before a lot, Rhovanion and Roamer comment on Feaf, or at least react to her, considering she's a bulky feline and the other bulky feline they know is Zilas. (Zahira isn't bulky) They grew up with Zilas and have only ever saw dogs other than Zilas and Zahira, so I feel it would be good to see them have a reaction, in fact I think Roamer could even be staring at Feaf right there.
BugFolk
July 30th, 2017
Re: about Characters who hide their grief
As a writer dealing a few characters grieving: One is a soldier dealing with losing his troops and the other a teacher facing domestic violence from a partner, I can say there are ways to still show the characters grieving but without making it show in every scene. You can still give them the impression of being happy and bubbly. There will be times of clarity, or times they are reminded of their past or their grief. Something will trigger it and snap, the character is back in the time of the hurt and facing the emotions. So while Roamer might have been numb up to now, there are ways to trigger his emotions and have him reflect upon the grief.
BugFolk
July 30th, 2017
Just my $.02
As Butterflyhornet on da: I really like the comic. I believe Kique7 is a good writer with a lot of potential. I wouldn't be here offering constructive advice if I didn't believe this comic and the story is great. I also believe the same with many others here offering their feedback. We wouldn't be going through the effort typing our feedback if there wasn't anything to like.

I just hope the advice here shared by many can be taken and used to make the story even better.
Sepia
July 30th, 2017
we dA outcasts got no place else to discuss tho X""")
@Kitty-Kat: it may look like a "mess" but aside from the one deleted post (i hope kique kept it so we know what kind of lines not to cross, cuz i don't remember it much...?) i don't see any kind of heated negativity going on? kique appreciates constructive critique, and if anything, us spending time writing walls of text analyzing characters and flaws and plot..etc only shows Home/Asmundr is worth talking about x )

Besides, kique's dA is no more, unfortunately TwT sorry if we seem kinda invasive to the peace around here as of recent, lol. We dA outcasts have no other place to share our thoughts and theories anymore but here haha XD;; if kique would prefer we move such discussion elsewhere, then that's fine i guess.
BugFolk
July 30th, 2017
Minor changes that could help moving forward
I read through most of the comments and while there may be a lot of things that we don't like going on, as a writer I can see a few things that can be done that would really help resolve these issues:

1. Have a page just solo on Roamer reflecting over all that's happened. He begins to miss his family, think of Ronja and wonder how she is doing. Think of Zilias, he misses Zilias.
2. Have Roamer bring it up with Kargo. Depending on whether Kargo is supposed to be controlling or an antagonist: Either tell Roamer this all doesn't matter, he's got him now and he's the only family Roamer needs.
Or if Kargo is supposed to be benevolent then agree to take on Roamers quest to find Ronja and the truth about Zilias.

Either of these changes will really help redeem Roamer as a character, show that he does care and is either being manipulated or has been avoiding his emotions. Either way this scene needs to happen in some way to redeem Roamer and make him interesting enough for the audience to follow.

Summery:

1. Roamer needs a solo page reflecting over what's happened and his family. He remembers Ronja and Zilias and wonders how she is doing, Zilia's death and how the others in the pack are coping.
2. Roamer needs to tell this to Kargo, Ferah and company

Depending on Kique7's choice for Kargo:
1: Tell Roamer it doesn't matter, he's the only family Roamer ever needs
2. Agree with Roamer that his family is important and decide to take on the mission to find Roamer's family and truth about Zilias.

If #1 happens, then have Roamer struggle with his emotions vs what Kargo is trying to make him feel.
Adana
July 30th, 2017
@Kitty-Kat: Don't you worry though, he knows most of us pretty well and he should know we meant well. I get being sensitive and that's kinda understandable, but I can definitely assure you it is very calm in here. I was in fandoms who were way worst, so this one is really peaceful^^

Also I guess sometimes people think they are alone with an opinion and then, suddenly and for the first time, they understand they are not. So of course there's a bit of a rant, but that doesn't mean something bad.
Kitty-Kat
July 30th, 2017
@Sepia: That's a good point. :o
Kitty-Kat
July 30th, 2017
@Adana: Reading it all at the same time just seemed a lot to me. But like I said, I'm sensitive about these things. And while I'm sure he appreciates everyone's critique, having it said over and over by many different people can be a bit demoralizing. (And yes, this is much better than DA.)
Sepia
July 30th, 2017
nice new BG!
first of all, nice new background : D even though my monitor is a bit too big for it to cover it all XD;;

second of all, i think showing grief and strong emotions are VERY important to this story when the overarching theme of Home is "faith", and if Home/Asmundr had any subgenre, it would definitely be tragedy.

I see where you're coming from, hoos. i am nearing my 30's but like Hagy said, age shouldn't be used to value/devalue an opinion or life experiences X);;

I must disagree, though. If a work of fiction depicts real life to a T, then what's the point of making a story at all? wouldn't everything be so predictable? Twists are what make stories interesting, like for example: Keirr has shown that he doesn't let his emotions get the best of him, even when he's supposed to be the most hurt upon Zilas' death. He doesn't take things personally. Keirr said no one should be blamed/punished BUT the one that put the knife into Zilas. One twist would be if he absolutely betrayed his own resolve and took it all out on Ronja when (and if...hopefully?) he learns her foolish judgement was the catalyst for his demise. IRL, people would feel petty toward someone like Ronja and move on, but imo that wouldn't make a compelling story/interaction.

People more than often brought up the "things could have happened off-screen" excuse but equally, nothing could've happened either, so both arguments should be equally valid (i remember the Rhov/Jahla debacle of them having to breakup or not, some argued so much could've happened between them off-screen, while at the same time, absolutely nothing major could've happened either to deepen their bond and understanding of one another.)

A little mystery now and then is great, but if too much is left for the readers to speculate and assume on would cause problems to the plot on the long run x )" So back to the point, characters constantly not properly showing grief/strong emotions/or internal conflict ON-SCREEN would make it hard for readers to properly understand and connect with.

i feel i had another major point, but it escaped my mind...
Adana
July 30th, 2017
@Kitty-Kat: Why is it a mess? A lot of people came from dA but before they came...these kind of discussions were absolutely common. On dA, mention critical thoughts= Whiteknights attacking yoiu and that even when the girlfriend of the author said they don't appreciate it, while they do appreciate the critique and the suggestions Kique got here. He even said himself so that he appreciates. So I personally always wonder why some people are so defensive with this comic, because I would bet at least 90% of the commenters here don't mean bad but just pointing out flaws. If no one does, Kique won't notices, not because he's sump but because we all can't see flaws in our own work well-I'm def. no exception! Like, heck, I suck in seeing my own plotholes for example haha.
Kitty-Kat
July 30th, 2017
Wow...this comment section is a mess.
It feels like everyone got kinda disproportionately upset? It's probably just me though, I tend to be sensitive about stuff.
I would like to put in my own two cents, if you will.
I agree that some things shouldn't just "happen off screen", but on the other hand, would you want to read 10-20 pages of characters doing nothing? Graphic novels are hard to write, you have to compact what would be at least a page's worth of scenes, text, and dialogue into a page that becomes surprisingly small once you try to fit it all in. I do agree, Zila's death seems to have been glossed over a bit, but it wouldn't be very interesting to show the characters sitting around mourning their lost friends for as long as it would realistically take. There has to be some sacrifices to further the comic and keep it going. Not to mention, these dogs don't exist in a very luxurious world. To survive, they must keep moving, keep hunting. They are in a nice place now, so perhaps there should be at least some expressions, background or no, to indicate that yes, they remember Zilas and are thinking about him. BUT it doesn't mean they can't have a little bit of fun mixed in there, too. Maybe some of them are trying to get their mind off of it? Bottling up their grief, only to have it spill over later?
For Kargo and Roamer, I can see some issues, but they don't seem as huge to me as they seem to others. But I've never been in a romantic relationship, so I can't say I know a lot about it. To me, they just look like star-crossed lovers, a couple in that phase where they're all lovey all the time and it's hard to watch. And to be fair, I think even a couple who would otherwise fit perfectly together can be undermined by poor decision making. They still have that potential too.
As for Kargo not being with Ferah as much, she doesn't seem bothered by it, so I don't think he needs to drop Roamer and focus his attention on her. He spending time with his boyfriend, there's nothing wrong with it, as long as he doesn't get so caught up in his relationship with Roamer that he pushes away others. He hasn't had time to show whether he'll do that or not.
I always find myself getting frustrated at things in webcomics like these, only to read through from the start and realize it wasn't such a big deal. We get a different experience, because we only read a page in between a certain length of time. I find it messes up the flow a little bit, so try reading to at least the beginning of a chapter to where you are, and see if your opinion changed. If not, by all means post your critique. I hope I haven't come off as know-it-all, I'm really not trying to.