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Heritage

Heritage

by NellyOnly
Timothy Tell work as a detective, for a secret agency called "RIMAD".
He gets called into work, where he's told to bring in Samuel Qruint or at least locate their position.

Sam happens to be his best friend.
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Pages
69
Updates
Thursdays
Last Update
4 Days Ago
Fans
176
Readers
209

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Heritage

Timothy Tell work as a detective, for a secret agency called "RIMAD".
He gets called into work, where he's told to bring in Samuel Qruint or at least locate their position.

Sam happens to be his best friend.

Authors

Recent Comments

Chickeneverland
October 19th, 2017
get bamboozled
NellyOnly
October 19th, 2017
@LunaCrystal: Shit indeed xD
NellyOnly
October 19th, 2017
@eishiya: Yup, he's an honourable gentlemman like that ;D

OH! OH!!
I HAD NO IDEA!
That's... How much I know about guns xD
I don't think it should be much of a problem shortening it a little, but you're right, it's the whole cartridge going out like that and that's wrong xD
LunaCrystal
October 19th, 2017
well shit
eishiya
October 19th, 2017
Oh no. I honestly expected at least a little bit of honesty, I thought he'd have shot him when he started turning around, not blatantly in the back.


Nitpick: It looks like Green shot the entire cartridge out of his gun rather than just the bullet xP The part of the cartridge that actually goes flying is the bullet, which is round or a squat cone, and the conical empty case that held the gunpowder gets ejected to the side, or, more likely in the case of these guns, stays in the ammunition cylinder.

Photo for clarity: https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/44-caliber-pistol-cartridge-bullet-13288215.jpg
LunaCrystal
October 16th, 2017
@NellyOnly: Oh Lord, halp.
NellyOnly
October 16th, 2017
@LunaCrystal: I'm sorry, but I don't think he can hear you ;D
LunaCrystal
October 16th, 2017
TURN AROUND TIMOTHY, TURN AROUND DAMMIT!

Try it over M8.
NellyOnly
October 12th, 2017
@eishiya: Ahh, true!
I actually forgot that I had more silhouettes coming, I made these in March/April this year xD
Gonna try to look it over, thanks for reminding me! :D
eishiya
October 12th, 2017
Cheating bastard :T

I think it would be good to carry the hat colouring through to all the silhouettes, since you did it once in this scene. It's not important, but it feels like it's missing now.
NellyOnly
October 5th, 2017
@eishiya: Me too! I wish I had the same commitment, all I do is match black with black 8D

(Greenie's name is Daniel Johnson, I think he's only mentioned by his last name. Tho, I don't remember either 8D)
But yeah, he should! Maybe he's filled with doubt?

AH, COME ON xD

(No, seriously, I can't thank you enough!)

I always struggle with Loose, lose, chose and choose D:
I'll change it!

I picked "Me. That is." because it sounded better in my head, but now that you mention it, it might look better with comma instead xD

I'll see if I can fit that in by making the font slightly smaller. :D
eishiya
October 5th, 2017
I admire their commitment to their colour schemes.

Greenie (I've forgotten his name, if it's been mentioned) should really be happier about the fact that, according to his world view, he gets Claire's hand whether he wins or loses the duel.


I thought I could get away without nitpicks this time, but nope ;D
Bubble 2 should have "so that Claire may choose the one she loves." "Chose" (with one 'o') is the past tense.
Bubble 3 should be "Me, that is." with a comma.
Bubble 4 is technically fine, but I misread it because of a combination of the wording and the line breaks. Maybe instead of "show you", use "show that you" or "show me (that) you". At the end of a line, "show you" reads like "visa till dig ..." rather than "visa att du ..." (Swedish examples because in English it's hard to distinguish objective and nominative "you".)
No problem
@nbenn6694: Thank you :D
Amazing book 😺
NellyOnly
September 29th, 2017
"Old" english then? ;) Nah, I get your point, tho! I phrased it a bit wrong, I meant more... Old fashioned English? I think? I don't know the correct word for it, I'm afraid. D:

Oooh, I'll check the link when I get home, thanks! :D
eishiya
September 28th, 2017
@NellyOnly: Yet another nitpick: they're speaking modern English, just an older form of it. Old English was spoken in the early Middle Ages and bears little resemblance to modern English.

To narrow down your search, try "Victorian English" as a keyword. This book might be of use (and it's searchable!): http://archive.org/stream/passingenglishof00wareuoft
NellyOnly
September 28th, 2017
@eishiya: Yeah, I wish I was better at Old English insults. I tried googling, but it didn't lead me much anywhere where I wanted to be.

Yeah, I noticed it as well, but I thought that people might recognize it due to their jackets colours?
(I forgot to save the original file, so I might change it to red later on!)
eishiya
September 28th, 2017
@NellyOnly: "shut your mouth" is something that would've been said in the late 19th century, though it lacks the charm of "shut your pie hole". Honestly, I'm not sure what to suggest there. Maybe "shut your trap"? Not as funny, but not as boring as "mouth" and still period-appropriate. Or you could just not bother with accuracy and keep "pie hole".

The coloured hat bands work pretty well! Naturally my nitpickiness wants to point out that they're different colours on the previous pages, but I think it reads fine as an identifying symbol.
NellyOnly
September 28th, 2017
@LunaCrystal: Hhaha, glad you liked it! I wanted something silly coming out from him xD