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Games People Play - Updated Weekly

Games People Play - Updated Weekly

by Dogbert
Your weekly 1-stop for satire on roleplaying games, videogames, politics... or whatever geek stuf, really. Not for the easily offended. You have been warned.

Feedback and comments at games.people.play.comic@gmail.com
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441
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Mondays
Last Update
15 Hours Ago
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11
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73

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Games People Play - Updated Weekly

Your weekly 1-stop for satire on roleplaying games, videogames, politics... or whatever geek stuf, really. Not for the easily offended. You have been warned.

Feedback and comments at games.people.play.comic@gmail.com

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Saving the world... for later
As of the moment this comic was slated in the queue, Cryptic had just agreed to delay a change in the billing system that would have de-facto fired all of its paying customers. Here's the rundown:

Are you a Champions Online subscriber and you just missed a payment for whatever reason? Well, you're SOL, because subscriptions have just been abolished and you can't renew!

Q: What about all my freeform characters?
A: Locked, all of them.

Q: How do I get them back?
A: Either convert them to silver or pay Cryptic a ransom of $200 (the cost of a Life-time subscription)

If you play CO, I'm sure you can see the problem. Also, let's remember Cryptic isn't backpedalling on it, they're just delaying it. Even if they change it, you can be sure it's not going to be to anyone's liking.

This may be the straw that breaks the camel's back. When even your resident sycopanths turn on you, that means you finally crossed the line.

What they did, however, was removing the possibility of account wide costume slot purchase, and the player base probably hasn't noticed yet... let's see what the sycopanths say once they notice.

Peace.
The Lockbox Saga Continues
When you see ESA's president arguing on the dictionary's meaning of GAMBLING, you know everyone is on to their bullshit. Then again, and bears repeating, the industry's crap will continue as long as consumers keep enabling the lockbox peddlers.

Peace.
Eternal Vigilance
No, I won't tell you who is today's Maude Flanders, any visits to their site is boosting their signal, but two weekends ago, these modern-day book burners were gloating about their victory while it came to my attention several indie smut peddlers got an email with Steam's kiss of death at the same time (being demanded to either "censor their game or get delisted" is the same as showing them to the door when the whole point of those games is smut).

I'm focusing on Steam, because being the 800 pound gorilla of online retailers and with the ESA having their backs, it's embarassing they caved in so easily to Moms Against Fun. While some people are claiming Steam backpedaled on this early last week, I won't look away until all indies Steam betrayed confirm they're safe.

Hell, I don't even like visual novels, but I oppose the Thought Police on principle, and will do so every time they rear their ugly heads.

If you want to protest Steam's shenanigans, you have two ways to do so:

1) Buy a cheap visual novel.
2) Report as many AAA games with questionable content as you can, so Steam gets the hint you're on to them. Clearly they won't delist GTA, or The Witcher, or Conan Exiles, the point is confronting them with their double standards.

Finally, a PSA: Always distrust any and all moral guardians organization, especially if they use any fallacious name like "Peace and Love Incorporated."
Credit for this comic goes to the fine people of the Gaming Den.

Let's make one thing clear. There's one and only one reason why Mike Mearls has avoided the chopping block for so long, and that is his mastery of mendacity, and this piece of payola is no exception.

I won't deny, d&d has managed to recover the household name it used to have. This has little to do with 5E's quality and everything to do with Mearls using the money he'd have used paying Monte Cook (and then all other writers he fired one by one) in payola. Having key geek influencers and professional entertainers on board and playing on youtube was definitely the right move towards turning d&d into a brand. Then Stranger Things happened, while Mearls was not involved (he wishes), the series was Mearls' ticket back to easy street, where he is now, living off rental and licensing phone apps and coloring books.

That was the lucky break Mearls needed, especially since he had just about ran out of both spinnable excuses and human shields (WotC's d&d division already works with a skeleton crew, a situation not unlike the last days of White Wolf at CCP's hands).

While it's good for him that he finally found a thing he can actually be productive at, what's good for him is going to be lethal for d&d as a game. Sure, phone apps and videogame licenses make more money for WotC than roleplaying books, but the dnd division already reached a level where they can no longer produce gaming books by themselves (reminder: all of d&d's adventure campaigns were written by contractors) even if they wanted (Xanathar's guide took three years to put together from Mearls' napkin notes).

Oh well, hopefully at least d&d's sacrifice will benefit the rest of the industry and help it get out of the current dark age it's in now.

Peace.
Lockbox Wars: A New Hope
Make no mistake, it will always be uplifting seeing Germany STAND UP TO THE INDUSTRY's CRAP, but alas, it's by no means a game changer. Back in the day, Germany also outlawed Windows 8 and the Xbox 360, and that didn't deter Micro$oft either.

Unless the rest of the E.U follows Germany's steps (and more importantly, GAMERS stop enabling lockbox peddlers), nothing is gonna change.

Be the change you want to see upon the world. VOTE WITH YOUR WALLET.

Peace.
@Brian: Ikr? No one can blame a game for being true-to-source. Oh well, what can do you? (spoilers: adding blue shells).
Monopoly
@Dogbert: As I understand it, Monopoly was designed to show the evils of capitalism, and was never designed to be fun or fair.
Dogbert
April 14th, 2018
The EVE Experience
It's not EVE Online until there's a massive ganking and a real money embezzlement scandal, just saying.

Peace.
Rick, and Morty, and Dungeons, and Dragons
Sure, it's not the fourth season, but BEATS HAVING NOTHING, and given how Stranger Things brought d&d to light for a bit, it's fair game.

Also... don't try that drinking game, really... at least not alone, have someone close that can call an ambulance for you.

Peace.
Monopoly With A Twist
I'm not a fan of Monopoly, since there's no way to turn tables on people. Once someone starts winning, chances are the game's already decided, and those with the shortest straw can only sit down and see how hard they lose before the end. Still... a monopoly with actual Mario Kart mechanics sounds like just the thing for me if the dreaded blue shell is there.

Peace.
Better to Reign in Hell
If you ask me, the best that could have happened to maquila-publisher Ubi is being acquired by Vivendi. Blizzard is the last AAA publisher that actually follows best practices. Blizzard thrives. Blizzard belongs to Vivendi. Be like Blizzard.

Alas, seemingly, they "DODGED THAT BULLET."

So, Ubi runs from Vivendi, but welcomes TENCENT, which only convinces me that Ubi really, really wants to be the E.A, and follow every single tip in the book of worst practices.

Oh well, there's a reason I stopped giving them my money long, long ago.

Peace.
L5R: 5E
This beta release document had been sitting on my desktop for a while, but life had been keeping me too busy to properly read it for a long while.

...only for me to read it, and then realize I've been actually playing the damn game for FORTY YEARS.

If you're an introvert, gravitate somewhere within the autistic spectrum, or just share my particular condition called All Fucked Up Inside, the premise of L5R (the fifth edition at least, I can't speak for the prior ones) is the story your life. My only regret is not having finished this comic on time for Mental Health Awareness week.

Also, for all those gaming tables out there with "that player" (you know who they are, I know I was mine at my first two), by all means. I commend you to play L5R 5E if you're interested in understanding "That Player" a bit better. Walking a mile in their shoes might prove enlightening.

Play it.

Please.

Peace.
Dogbert
February 28th, 2018
ESA BS
So the ESA think they can fool congress into letting them continue their rapacious marketing habits by setting the ESRB with a warning that's as vague as it is useless. If they're resorting to this mendacious crap that means their lobbyists may not be as powerful as they'd like, and they do fear the US congress.

Anyway... if Penny Arcade doesn't beat me to the punch on this note I'll be most disappointed, since they have already let two of these go already. I'll feel alone, very alone... like, John-The-Baptist-alone.

Peace.

P.S: Yes, the first three warnings apply to all physical objects composed of non-dark matter. It's physics.
Dogbert
February 24th, 2018
The Cold Civil War
As if it wasn't evident enough on which side of the fence the NRA sits on in this war I can only truly call "good vs. evil" at this point, the NRA has ratified his allegiance to satan and all that is unholy by ratifying Ajit Pai's contribution to our inevitable dystopic future. Also, the award plaque came with a commemorative gun.

No additional comments, really. The comic basically wrote itself.

Peace.
Alfonso (Guest)
February 14th, 2018
Well, you can always play the Pocket Edition of Final Fantasy XV if your pc can't handle the tech specs of what the game needs to run in it.
Grimmestspace
By the time I put this comic in the queue, GRIMMERSPACE's KICKSTARTER has yet to open. Hopefully it won't just go up in vaporware.

I have yet to read Snipes' book, but if he's on a writing spree, this book makes me curious.

Peace
A Game of Force
If I had to name one, and only one, reason behind Confederate's boycott, I'd say that's Poe's Law.

Confederate was supposed to be a cautionary tale, a warning of the nightmares that could be unleashed if the cancers posing as men happened to have their way. Alas, show THAT kind of story nowadays and all the nazi rednecks would take it as validation of their evil in a way not unlike corporate cancers twisted Who Stole My Cheese's message into a justification of management's worst practices everywhere.

This is why we can't have nice things.

Anyway, HBO's dynamic duo? Yeah, they got a new gig.
Dogbert
February 4th, 2018
The Final Fantasy XV Benchmark
If you have a gaming PC, you want Final Fantasy XV.

If you want to make sure of how well your machine will do running it: Here's the free diagnose software from Squeenix.

As expected, AGAIN Squeenix didn't bother with enabling multi-core processing and thus the game demands nine times the specs it actually should, so be prepared.

Peace.
TechnoPuff
January 29th, 2018
"Jesus! Please Me!" ok noice grammer
The Other Shoe
It doesn't take an Einstein to foresee what happens next.

This is the part where "someone" pitches to 45's cabinet that perhaps "someone" should be entrusted with the monopoly of social media (as a start) "in order to protect democracy." Don't listen to what Zuckerberg "says," look at what he DOES (like banning on Twitter not the nazis, but the people who protest against them). He is not on your side.

You're looking at the incoming birth of the Ministry Of Truth.

Peace.

P.D: For those who don't know what Weibo is... pray you don't have to find out.