To whom it may concern,

I have met the man of my dreams. His name is Jeff Blue and he is a very attractive and successful graphic designer. He owns his own home, has a car, and is single. Definitely my kind of guy, just one thing, he has kids. In fact he has three kids, to which the following rules apply:

Rule #1 rabbits are NOT sweet and cute.
Rule #2 the quiet ones are ALWAYS plotting something.
Rule #3 never EVER piss off a homicidal scarecrow.

I’ve never been more terrified of family game night then I am now, but before that I have to survive dinner. I hope they make it quick.

Sincerely,
Joshua Sanders

*contains BL*

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