User Data
I Agree
Our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy have changed. To continue use of this website, you must agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.
Trapped in the Closet, with the Devil

Trapped in the Closet, with the Devil

by UrbanMysticDee
R&B superstar Lucius Susan has just returned from six grueling hours at a celebrity rehab resort for sex crimes when he walks out into a terror attack. In the ensuing panic he and eight other people flee the streets into the nearest safe place - a storage closet. All seems well until they realize the doors won't open. Now they're trapped in the closet with a sex offender and it's only a matter of time before evil is unleashed.


The following is a work of fiction. All characters, organizations, or situations are entirely fictional or used in a fictional manner. The content may be seen as highly offensive. Viewing this material is left to the readers' discretion.
Add to Favorites
Pages
21
Updates
On Hiatus
Last Update
8 Years Ago
Fans
2
Readers
0

Trapped in the Closet, with the Devil

R&B superstar Lucius Susan has just returned from six grueling hours at a celebrity rehab resort for sex crimes when he walks out into a terror attack. In the ensuing panic he and eight other people flee the streets into the nearest safe place - a storage closet. All seems well until they realize the doors won't open. Now they're trapped in the closet with a sex offender and it's only a matter of time before evil is unleashed.


The following is a work of fiction. All characters, organizations, or situations are entirely fictional or used in a fictional manner. The content may be seen as highly offensive. Viewing this material is left to the readers' discretion.

Recent Comments

December 2007, the very first version of "7 Days", featured a throw away scene with Mike Bloomberg and Eliot Spitzer. I think I went overboard here with my depiction of Bloomy, but the lettering is good.

If you notice, Bloombert's left hand has claws and his right hand does not. I guess I forgot to draw them.

If you want to learn more about "7 Days" visit The Urban Mystic:

http://theurbanmystic.blogspot.com/2011/02/world-gone-mad.html
This one has another picture on the back and I'm not going to edit it out.

Mahhhhkmōōd I'm A Dēēnarrr Jakēēt is a murderer, or at least an alleged murderer. He was likely part of an Iranian death squad that murdered three Kurds in Vienna in 1989.

He's building a n̶u̶c̶l̶e̶a̶r̶ ̶b̶o̶m̶b̶ chocolate chip factory in the open. This is evident from the fact that chocolate chip factories need to process large quantities of uranium to enrich it to ̶b̶o̶m̶b̶ cookie-grade. As soon as he's finished he'll use it to "wipe Israel off the map." (His words) To date no one has tried to stop him, even though he admits to be planning genocide (ignoring genocide is illegal under international law). Russia is giving him tons of uranium to make the best cookies for reasons that are not entirely clear.

He's had the same haircut forever, meaning he does it with glue. He also glued pubes to his face and wears giant clothes to hide the fact that he's a dwarf.

Just this year the 12th Imam, who has been hiding for eleven centuries, has appeared to I'm A Dēēnarrr Jakēēt, and says he'll appear to no one else. (His claim) I'm A Dēēnarrr Jakēēt LIES about being in constant communication with the 12th Imam, and is using the religion of his people to secure Iranian hegemony of Central Asia and the Near East. I'm A Dēēnarrr Jakēēt says everyone must kill the Jews before the end of days can begin. (His claim)

I'm A Dēēnarrr Jakēēt is probably the most evil man alive.
Sometimes called "G" Gordon Liddy, but no one knows what the "G" stands for. He's the one who is responsible for Watergate, and then everyone blamed Nixon (who was no saint, but he didn't deserve the crap he got). Liddy was put in federal prison for several decades and when he got out he became a consultant for the FBI.

In his 80s, Liddy spends his golden years selling gold on television for Rosland Capital. Why should you buy gold from Rosland Capital? Because Gordon Liddy does. That's it. That's his whole pitch. I'm not lying. He says you should buy gold from his company because he buys gold from it. He also talks in a gurgley baritone and possibly waxes his head like Mr. Clean.
I don't have any new pages yet, so I'm posting caricatures of different people I don't like.

Worst president of your and my lifetimes (unless you're over 100 years old).

Your WORST nightmare come to life would be if Jimmy "James" Carter knew where you live.

In his campaign, Carter said "I'll never lie to you," and never since has truth come from his giant baboon buttocks lips.

His eyes are always in shadow (they're the only part of the picture in shadow), even in direct sunlight, because he's evil.

Carter lusts in his heart for penis.

He grinds peanuts into cocaine and snorts it. Then he goes on screeds about how much he hates America (Jimmy Carter HATES America!) He's one of the few presidents ever to hate (HATE) America with a passion that burns like a thousand suns. The only thing Carter hates (HATES) more than America are the Jews. He goes out of his way every single day to help the Arabs conquer Israel and kill all the Jews.
UrbanMysticDee
March 27th, 2011
Maybe he DID disappear!
corruption
March 21st, 2011
Yes
Proposition him! After all, sex in front of an audiance is not strange for celebraties these days.
corruption
March 21st, 2011
Respond properly
Tell them you understand you are so damn sexy that the guys fantisize about you, but your not interested.
UrbanMysticDee
March 13th, 2011
I've been sitting on this page for a month. I have never carried on a single joke this long before (except Tron dying in All Hell Breaks Loose!, but that was within the context of relevant plot, this is just one long joke with no plot to get in the way). I don't really have the time to keep this up. The next two pages are already complete. The same joke is expected to carry on for at least four more pages, but will I draw pages 15 and 16? I don't know.

I HAVE FALLEN VICTIM TO MY OWN CLICHE!!! I don't want to say it, but what should I do? Should I continue this story and have it consume time and resources or should I stop? I am not doing this to be ironic, I am genuinly confused.
UrbanMysticDee
January 23rd, 2011
This is only the third time I've depicted bin Laden in a comic. He previously appeared in Black Listed, where he was killed by a usurper and got sodomised by the Devil for the rest of the story. I seem to have toned down here.
UrbanMysticDee
January 1st, 2011
The joke on this page was inspired by an internet stock company that ran an ad with talking babies. The characters in advertisments are frequently given the same names as the staff who produce them because it's easier than having to think up an original name. The one baby was named "Lindsay" and a certain famous addict who likes to periodically change the pronunciation of her name got pissy and attacked the internet company for defaming her, when in reality they did nothing of the sort. It's like when Bon Jovi sued a woman in New Jersey for having a similar name. Ever since then I refuse to listen to any of his music.

L. Susan seems to have gotten extra crispy in these past few pages. He also says he's going to snort the three kilos, whereas on page 4 he says he plans to smoke it.
UrbanMysticDee
November 27th, 2010
What should L. Susan do? Expect (at least) four more pages of this.
UrbanMysticDee
November 20th, 2010
Spending time with history makes you cry to see the regression of the youth and their repeat of past mistakes.

Spending time with old folks helps you to laugh at the young folks regression and their repeat of past mistakes for the asinine spectacle that it is.
UrbanMysticDee
November 13th, 2010
It's a day late and that's with the exhausting work done to finish it quickly. Page 7 is almost finished and pages 8 - 12 (at least) are mostly written. Since four plus pages are being devoted to a single joke and one relevant plot element has happened so far, it looks as if this story will be around 40 pages total.
UrbanMysticDee
November 5th, 2010
It's getting harder to meet this once a week deadline with both The L and this.

Here we see that the whites of L. Susan's eyes aren't white.
UrbanMysticDee
October 29th, 2010
They're trapped inside? What a twist!
UrbanMysticDee
October 22nd, 2010
Yep. Great page.

Have you noticed that every single picture of the Time Square bomber has the guy with the biggest smile ever on his face? He's the happiest terrorist I've ever seen. He must have been really stoked about getting laid forever after blowing himself up. It's better than Viagra!
UrbanMysticDee
October 1st, 2010
Page 1 is finished and page 2 is half finished. I'll put it up next friday.
UrbanMysticDee
September 24th, 2010
I'm just getting over a cold and couldn't actually start the comic yet, so here's the first page of a short comic I did a few weeks ago to hold you over.

Based on a true story. Morphed into Falling Down to make if funny and not tragic.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9ckjELRL6Y
jaxxy
September 15th, 2010
Tricky
Nice. I like how you've got the upside down cross-symbol in there. :)
UrbanMysticDee
September 15th, 2010
In response to some people's concern that my R. Kelly inspired horror story was lifted from a new film by an infamous C Movie director I amended the cover in exuberant humour. Enjoy.


Now that I look at it the cover kind of reminds me of the Snakes on a Plane poster.