100 things couples must do before marriage

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Re: 100 things couples must do before marriage

Postby Frostwings » August 19th, 2009, 10:28 am

Make sure you're partner isn't gay and in the closet and just using you to make him/herself think he/she is straight. (the reverse for gay couples, which would just be really odd...straight person just beggin' to be gay)

Saw a few Law & Order shows based on this premise, it always ends poorly.
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Re: 100 things couples must do before marriage

Postby TacoTotes » August 19th, 2009, 10:58 am

Ran wrote:
Gibson Twist wrote:6. Turn 25. Seriously, anyone who gets married in their early 20s or earlier is setting themselves up for failure. Getting married after 25 is a gamble, before then is a contract for divorce.

:?

Listen to your friends if they are telling you that you are making a mistake. I know plenty of people in unhappy relationships who absolutely believe that if they get married, all the bad things will go away and everything will be flowers and roses. It doesn't work that way. At all.


Oh man! That's so crazy that you say that, because I have two friends that are convinced when they get married everything will be hunky-dory even though they can barely stand each other now. Whew.

19. Figure out what you want to do with money, do you want to have all your assets separate or do you want to have a joint account. (Separate is probably, most likely, best.)
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Re: 100 things couples must do before marriage

Postby tezzle » August 19th, 2009, 12:13 pm

20. Ride a rollerco-Dang it! That's all I had. Um...Oh! Don't get married because you got pregnant. My mom never married my dad, and it was the best thing she could've done. He was neither husband nor father material.
I'm Tooch now.
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Re: 100 things couples must do before marriage

Postby SuperBiasedMan » August 19th, 2009, 1:03 pm

Must... resist... urge... to type 'each other'.

To be honest, I don't know.
Would it not make sense to ask someone you know who's been married for a long time instead of a forum largely full of teenagers?
Well, that is assuming this is meant to be more of a serious thing.
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Re: 100 things couples must do before marriage

Postby AFStaff » August 19th, 2009, 2:08 pm

Pay, the Russians always demand you pay up-front.
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Re: 100 things couples must do before marriage

Postby MillieQOF » August 19th, 2009, 3:38 pm

SuperBiasedMan wrote:Would it not make sense to ask someone you know who's been married for a long time instead of a forum largely full of teenagers?
Well, that is assuming this is meant to be more of a serious thing.


Only children and teenagers are young enough to know everything. :D
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Re: 100 things couples must do before marriage

Postby Guest » August 19th, 2009, 5:48 pm

21. be able to financially trust each other. both my sister's first marriage and my parent's marriage fell apart based on this. if you can't spend $5 on something without feeling like you have to lie about it...or if you're constantly having to "check up" your bank statement....it's probably a no-go.
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Re: 100 things couples must do before marriage

Postby Ran » August 20th, 2009, 7:06 am

SuperBiasedMan wrote:Must... resist... urge... to type 'each other'.

To be honest, I don't know.
Would it not make sense to ask someone you know who's been married for a long time instead of a forum largely full of teenagers?
Well, that is assuming this is meant to be more of a serious thing.


Hey, some of us are married. And not teenagers.

Before you get married, have a realistic talk about budget. If you really can't afford it, don't take out a loan just so you can ride around town before the wedding in a stretch SUV limousine, or have solid gold cutlery for the reception--it doesn't matter if it's 'your day,' bridezilla, you'll thank yourself when you're not $10,000+ in debt.
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Re: 100 things couples must do before marriage

Postby SuperBiasedMan » August 20th, 2009, 7:27 am

Ran wrote:Hey, some of us are married. And not teenagers.

Before you get married, have a realistic talk about budget. If you really can't afford it, don't take out a loan just so you can ride around town before the wedding in a stretch SUV limousine, or have solid gold cutlery for the reception--it doesn't matter if it's 'your day,' bridezilla, you'll thank yourself when you're not $10,000+ in debt.


I know that some people are and can give useful advice, but the majority aren't that old.

Though, looking back there has been mostly sensible stuff said anyway.
Snuffan and on a separate occasion, my dad wrote:"don´t be a girls who needs a man, be the girl a man need"

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Re: 100 things couples must do before marriage

Postby Gibson Twist » August 20th, 2009, 1:10 pm

Another thing that is incredibly important and yet incredibly overlooked and undervalued is making sure you have compatible ideas of where you want your life to go. For example, if one partner wants to travel a lot and live in a lot of different places and the other wants to settle down, buy a house and raise children, at least one of these people is going to be disappointed. For that matter, if one wants kids and the other doesn't, I've seen several marriages end over this, and it's never been a case that they didn't know where they stood going in, they just thought the other would change their mind or that it wasn't a big deal. I'll tell you, fundamental differences over the kind of life you want to live are about the biggest deal you're ever going to see in a coupling.

Make sure you have a lot in common. That whole opposites attract thing isn't untrue, but it should be seen as a warning and not an excuse to be with someone whose interests are diametrically opposed to your own.
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Re: 100 things couples must do before marriage

Postby Imi » August 20th, 2009, 1:22 pm

Gibson Twist wrote:Another thing that is incredibly important and yet incredibly overlooked and undervalued is making sure you have compatible ideas of where you want your life to go. For example, if one partner wants to travel a lot and live in a lot of different places and the other wants to settle down, buy a house and raise children, at least one of these people is going to be disappointed. For that matter, if one wants kids and the other doesn't, I've seen several marriages end over this, and it's never been a case that they didn't know where they stood going in, they just thought the other would change their mind or that it wasn't a big deal. I'll tell you, fundamental differences over the kind of life you want to live are about the biggest deal you're ever going to see in a coupling.

Make sure you have a lot in common. That whole opposites attract thing isn't untrue, but it should be seen as a warning and not an excuse to be with someone whose interests are diametrically opposed to your own.


Both of these are really true. I know my boyfriend would like to have a child, and I wouldn't mind, but I've told him more than that I want a career, and I'm not going to have kids and marriage without a solid grounding in my career first, it just wouldn't be fair on a baby. I like to think I'm being realistic when I say it may not last forever, I hope it will, but you only have to look at a lot of families to see how people have screwed themselves by not thinking of their own future. My mum quit work because dad asked her to just after I was born, fell out of the industry, missed all the massive upgrades from traditional skills to computers, and couldn't get back into work when they divorced because she hadn't received the training she would have gotten if she hadn't of left, leaving her without any standing whatsoever for getting hired anywhere. I'd hate to fall into the same thing just because I gave up my own future for someone else's.

Some people are okay with doing this, and just want a family first and foremost, but I think if you or your partner are really career minded you should have that explicitly set out before making more plans.
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