Embarassing/Funny IM

Kick back and chat it up with other Jeeves Smackers.

Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby Nikkinoodles » July 18th, 2012, 4:37 pm

So I was chatting to my best friend over IM tonight and she was on morphine. This is word-for-word our conversation and you can see her getting more and more high as time passes.

Spoiler! :
Nicole says: oh dear oh deare
what'd you do?

KayKay says: called the paramedics
morphine injection to the spine, whooooo!

Nicole says: no I mean, to hurt it?

KayKay says: ohhhh! nothing, just the old break
flares up every now and then

Nicole says: oh I see
from the comment about paramedics I thought you'd fallen again or something

KayKay says: nah, just get a little paralysed when it hits badly so had to call them to help out
it's just in case it's my spinal cord, they need to check

Nicole says: Ahhh I see

KayKay says: yeah, funsies
oh WOW, the morphine is kicking in!

Nicole says: hahaha

KayKay says: good GOD, this stuff is awesome

Nicole says: can I expect delicious ramblings and nonsense?

KayKay says: quite probablt
i may declare my love for you as well, morphine makes me very affectionat

Nicole says: well we know you love me anyway so it's no big deal
lets keep you away from Dan though.... possibly

KayKay says:hahaha oh it's ok, we're already at the "i love you" stage

Nicole says:oh that's good then

KayKay says:OHMYGOD relationship panic
TOO FAST TOO FAST TOO FAST

Nicole says: awww I just put my foot up on the bed near my cat and she wiggled so she could put her head on it
that's the morphine talking dear

KayKay says: awwwwhhhhh! i wants kitty
i know, he pretty
oh oh oh look at the pic i posted on his wall earlier today by the way!! CUTE!

Nicole says: ok...

KayKay says: i want one

Nicole says: oh god! I just had a cute-gasm

KayKay says: it's adorable huh!
i'm ctually cvrying at it a little, happy happy tears like awesomeness
and i just sneezed and now my back is in two bits

Nicole says: Go to bed muffin, you're less likely to do yourself an injury there

KayKay says:i am in bed!!
oooooh phoney phone, brb!

Nicole says: alright then

KayKay says: it was a cold caller
WTF IM ON MORPHINE DUDE

Nicole says: eurgh

KayKay says: I DO NOT WANT TO MOVE TO 02

Nicole says: breathe

KayKay says: i dont need to! morphiiiine!]

Nicole says: oh good lord
Ken.... are you still conscious?


After a rather long silence in which I thought she'd passed out she finally replied. All I can say is that this is the point where things start to get really, really weird.
Spoiler! :
KayKay says: i am chattng to the cold caller

Nicole says: that poor person
is the caller willingly chatting to you or are you giving them no choice?

KayKay says: no choice!

Nicole says:
ahahahahaha
and what are you telling this cold caller?

KayKay says: about electricity

Nicole says: o.0 that I was not expecting
what are you telling them about electricity...?

KayKay says: that my boyfriend can cut them off

Nicole says: hahahahaha
oh Kirsten, I think they're probably in India or something
still talking to your victim?

KayKay says: haha yesss!

Nicole says: have you stopped threatening them with Dan removing their power yet?

KayKay says: nope!

Nicole says: Kennedy stop threatening them
talk to them about something else

KayKay says: they hung up

Nicole says: awwwww

KayKay says: i tried to explain clans to them

Nicole says: Scottish clans?

KayKay says: yep!
you were right
he was from bangladesh

Nicole says: told ya

KayKay says: wanna know the funny part?

Nicole says: sure

KayKay says: i have NO idea what he was trying to sell me

Nicole says: you mentioned O2

KayKay says: ohhhhh!
still, that could mean oxygen or phoney things
i giess i will never know
i could call; him back...

Nicole says: no,m he was trying to get you to switch to O2
do not call Bangladesh!

KayKay says: oh good point
he might be asleep by now
whats the tine difference between here and bangladesh

Nicole says: a big one and he won't be asleep, he'll be trying to call other people and it will cost YOU a lot of money

KayKay says: oh
but he was FRIENDLY
and sounded a little scared
i want to reassure him im not crazy
just high

Nicole says: do not call Bangladesh!

KayKay says: i wooooooont
... haiti?

Nicole says: no

KayKay says: how about if i call on the house phone?!
we get free international calls!

Nicole says: do not call another country
who are you gonna call in haiti?!

KayKay says: random dial!
its fuuuuuuun

Nicole says: do you even know the country code?

KayKay says: erm... 1-800-HAITI

Nicole says: no love

KayKay says: oh
i might call that and see what happens

Nicole says: oh good lord
I have this terrible feeling I should get hold of Dan so he can get hold of your mother to remove your phone for a while

KayKay says: nahhhhhh i'm fiiiiine!
technicallyi cant remembr how to make calls right now

Nicole says: well thank god for small mercies

KayKay says: hehehehehe]
mercies
kike french

Nicole says: hahahhaa oh god you're hilarious like this
can I copy this conversation and put it on SMackJeeves on one of their threads?

KayKay says: oh why not, in for a penny, in for a drugs test!

Nicole says: woo

KayKay says: i want a unicorn
like, really want a unicorn
how did that myth start anyway?
if it is a myth

Nicole says: not really sure

KayKay says: there MIGHT be unicorns

Nicole says: and yes it's a myth

KayKay says: but how do you KNOW?
they might have existed with, like, dinosaurs
maybe they live under tortoise shells and are just a lot smaller than we thought

Nicole says: rofl
oh dear lord, can we keep you like this

KayKay says: i would LOVE that
this is awesome

Nicole says: might make work tricky
instead of blogs on workplace stress you end up talking about unicorns

KayKay says: i prefer talking about unicorns

Nicole says: unicorns won't make you money

KayKay says: they might
if i found one

Nicole says: we're not moving to chester are we
we're going on a unicorn hunt instead aren't we

KayKay says: TO THE MOON
or guadeloupe
whichever is closer

Nicole says: a) the moon is in space and I can't build a spaceship just yet
b) I'm not even sure guadeloupe is a real place anymore

KayKay says: WHAT
where did guadeloupe go?!

Nicole says: I didn't say it has gone, I said I wasn't sure if it was still there

KayKay says: .... right, i know im on hrdcore drugs
but that blew my mind

Nicole says: I'm googling it
ok it's an island in the carribean
and it's still there

KayKay says: YEAH GUADELOUPE!
does it have unicorns?

Nicole says: don't think so
I think unicorns like forests and they only have palm trees

KayKay says: but maybe they;re exotic unicorns
that eat coconuts and shit

Nicole says: there's Russia... or Romania, they might have unicorns there
or New Zealand

KayKay says: how about... the cayman islands
tehy have DRAGONS
none in new zealand, ive been

Nicole says: they also still have palm trees
I've been to newzealand too but I stuck to the beaches, not really going into the thick dark forests

KayKay says: i went foresting was awesome
but lacking in unicorns

Nicole says: ok
the cayman islands still ahve palmtrees and I thought you wanted traditional unicorns, not exotic unicorns that eat coconuts and shit

KayKay says: either would do!
lets face it, right now i could get a pony
and put a toilet roll tube on its head
and that would make me happy
in fact, just the pony
i want a pony

Nicole says: that's much easier to manage

KayKay says: YAY pony!


And then Kirsten started to sober up from the morphine high.
Eishiya said: wrote:groin attacks build character


Muh blog
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby robybang » August 14th, 2012, 10:08 pm

I barely participated in this chat, but it was funny.

Spoiler! :
Amy M: https://images.4chan.org/tg/src/1344993866386.png
Amy M: THEY ARE ALL GOOD!
Amy M: I'm leaning towards teal, blue, or pink
Trevor: gimme a few years, i'm reading it
Breaker the Analog Kid: bloop bloop :v
Trevor: Motherfucking mystery crystal.
Amy M: Really?
Amy M: You'd give up control over time, life itself, and pocket dimensions for the mystery box/
Amy M: I love the ones where mystery box turns out to be hilarious trolling
Trevor: It might have choco tacos
Amy M: But with pink you could make creatures made out of choco tacos!
Amy M: or with blue you could make a pocket dimension full of choco tacos@
Roby Bang: Maybe mystery gives you mastery of choco tacos.
Trevor: Choco Tacomancy.
Amy M: Okay fine, silver is now choco tacomancy (and crepemancy as well, just to expand it a bit). Happy?
Trevor: No, it's not a mystery anymore.
Roby Bang: lol
three wrote:
The_Hankerchief wrote:AHNOLD TSUNDERENEGGER

"AHL BE BAHCK... BUT NAHT BECAUSE I LIEK YOU OR ANYTHING."
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby Snuffan » August 18th, 2012, 10:44 am

Me: Oh god I sing when I cook
Right now I was standing in the kitchen singing

"LOOK AT ALL
THIS MOTHERFUCKING
CHEEEEEEEESE.

HOLY SHIT,
CHEEEEEEEEEEESE"


Friend: You are the best disney princess
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby Ddraigeneth » September 19th, 2013, 11:21 pm

Reviving this thread for an email I just got from an Ebay seller.

Dear friend,

Thanks for your purchase on our store!
We've received your payment, and will arrange shipment for you within 24 hours. it usually takes 10-30 days(depends on

specific country) to arrive at you, please kindly await it!

My friend, we sincerely hope that you can receive your package successfully and like them very much. but in consideration of

international delivery, in fact shipping time depends on courier corporation and local customs. if there is something

unexpected happens as follows:
1. the item delays on the way, so you can't receive it within expected time
2. the item is broken or has some unusual problems, resulting in "not as description"

please feel free to contact with us by ebay message or email, we will try our best to resolve any problems for you until you

satisfied, is that fine?
Please don't leave us any bad feedback or open us any dispute, my friend, please trust us!
The best wishes to you and your families!

Have a wonderful day!



I am satisfied with this as my 4,444th post.
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby mikemacdee » October 26th, 2013, 2:09 am

I was directed to this thread to share some weird chatroom conversations from Gamejolt that I partook in. We have three chatrooms right now: most of the really stupid shit happens in General Chat, where all the rude 12-year-olds are holed up. Sometimes, though, it leaks into the Developer Chatroom where I am.

PewPewPoww enters the Developer Chat...

09:19 PewPewPoww: hey wazzup bros!!??

09:20 Honno: Hey PewPew

09:20 Honno: Please keep the discussion dev related

09:20 Honno: Or go and talk in the general chat

09:21 PewPewPoww: who?

09:21 Honno: You

So he goes to General Chat...

09:22 PewPewPoww: hey wazzup bros??!!

09:23 Mike MacDee: hey pewpew

09:23 saito_higaru: yo

09:23 Mike MacDee: please keep the discussion general related

09:23 Mike MacDee: or else go talk in multiplayer chat

I was trying to see how easily confused he really was. I'm not sure he actually went to Multi Chat.
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby blankd » October 27th, 2013, 7:36 pm

eishiya: I hate hands
eishiya: they're easy enough to draw, but I never know where to put them
blankd: all over seckshi bodii
SuperBiasedMan wrote:Just because you've proven something blankd doesn't mean I have to believe it.

Image Image
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby blankd » November 30th, 2013, 10:29 pm

eishiya: Now if you look at the sideways U
blankd: you mean the C?
SuperBiasedMan wrote:Just because you've proven something blankd doesn't mean I have to believe it.

Image Image
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby Ddraigeneth » January 25th, 2014, 10:56 pm

"[Humbaba] was a giant with the paws of a lion, rough scales, horns, vulture claws, and snake heads on both his tail and penis, I suppose so he could bite people with them no matter what side of him they were standing on. He's also commonly depicted as having intestines for a face."

"And then Loki had sex with it and gave birth to the Flying Spaghetti Monster?"
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby ShamanRyo » January 29th, 2014, 11:45 am

Reasons people add me on Skype: A series of chat logs I made people piss themselves in

Bras Knuckles
Spoiler! :
Ryan [Ryo]: Punch it's brain
Ryan [Ryo]: with bras knuckles
Honeyfrost211 [Joel mun]: bras knuckles
do bras have knuckled?
Honeyfrost211 [Joel mun]: ...
Honeyfrost211 [Joel mun]: knuckles*
Ryan [Ryo]: Yes
Ryan [Ryo]: You just have to hit the right spot
Mara+Mark'sMun Samantha: Yes, my Bras are Knuckled
Ryan [Ryo]: maybe jiggle them around a bit
Honeyfrost211 [Joel mun]: oh ym god
Ryan [Ryo]: You get the best results if you squeeze them just right
Honeyfrost211 [Joel mun]: i m done

Dick Sceptre
Spoiler! :
Star: ryo control your gender race
Ryo: Ryo grabs crown and penis sceptre
Ryo: I DRECREE
Star: whAT
Star: Star SPITTAKES
Ryo: THAT YOU FUCKERS
Ryo: Ryo comes out of water
Ryo: NEED TO STOP
Star: WH at
Star: ryo sTOP
Star: omg
Ryo: IT IS TO LATE NOW.
Ryo: I AM ALREADY OUT FO THE WATER
Ryo: Ryo SWIPES THE LAND FOR DUMBASS BOYS
Star: wHY
Ryo: Ryo SMITES THEM WITH THE DICK SCEPTRE
Ryo: Ryo RETREATS BACK INTO OCEAN
Ryo: Ryo SWEARS TO RETURN IF THIS CONTINUES
Star: oh MY GOD
Ryo: See
Ryo: this is why we are friends
Star: mhmm


And Finally,
Mega Evolution is actually Magical
Spoiler! :
Ryo: Yo mega Gardevoir Dazzling Gleam fucks me up
Ryo: Like I'm legit afraid of Sabrina's when using my dragons.
Star☆: ...
Star☆: :))
Star☆: Wanna meet hiromi?
Ryo: Ryo squints
Ryo: Maybe
Star☆: :))))
Ryo: Ryo because actual sailor moon pokemon
Star☆: LOOOL
Ryo: By the power of the moon(and Star's braclet)!
Star☆: HAHAHAHAHA
Star☆: Amazing
Ryo: Headcanon: Evey mega evolution is actually a Sailor Moon transformation.
Star☆: Oh. My. God.
Star☆: MAGICAL GIRL TRANSFORMATION
Ryo: YES
Star☆: Pokemon is now magical girl genre
Star☆: Pls imagine mewtwo transforming into a fluffy purple dress ty
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby Vitotamito » October 27th, 2014, 2:26 am

BRINGIN' IT BACK.

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Sonic-ock wrote:Prepare yourself for the gay adventures of Kuro the dragonwolf and Shiro the wolfdragon.

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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby H0lyhandgrenade » March 10th, 2016, 11:29 pm

It's been a while, and this chat was over Skype, but whatever close enough.

H0ly: I never expected him to be an inteegral part

Eishiya: Integral

H0ly: Whatever

Eishiya: I should not have to teach you to pronounce your own language

H0ly: Alright, Miss 'Wriths'

Eishiya: Wriths, writhes, anyway it's my second, technically third language

H0ly: Yeah but you're the language lady

Eishiya: You mean the linguistics lady

H0ly: I will smash. The goddamn SCREEN
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby Ddraigeneth » March 15th, 2016, 1:56 pm

H0lyhandgrenade wrote:Eishiya: You mean the linguistics lady

H0ly: I will smash. The goddamn SCREEN

I lol'd.
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby eishiya » November 17th, 2017, 9:31 am

Apparently I have some good ways to teach people to draw better.
Spoilered for anatomy words.

Spoiler! :
Oly: So I was commuting today, drawing unsuspecting goblins AND THEN I REMEMBER YOUR WORDS THAT THUMBS ARE LIKE PENISES
eishiya: 8] good
eishiya: did you draw some better-looking thumbs as a result?
Oly: Yeah but it was really hard not to laugh out loud
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby Glueckskeks » November 17th, 2017, 8:06 pm

eishiya wrote:Apparently I have some good ways to teach people to draw better.
Spoilered for anatomy words.

Spoiler! :
Oly: So I was commuting today, drawing unsuspecting goblins AND THEN I REMEMBER YOUR WORDS THAT THUMBS ARE LIKE PENISES
eishiya: 8] good
eishiya: did you draw some better-looking thumbs as a result?
Oly: Yeah but it was really hard not to laugh out loud


Spoiler! :
This reminds me of how you use dicks to censor spoilers in your thumbnails and sketches when streaming. I saved one of those pictures because I thought it was really funny, but sadly it ended up getting deleted accidentally and I miss it dearly.
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