Embarassing/Funny IM

Kick back and chat it up with other Jeeves Smackers.

Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby Pyroman » October 2nd, 2009, 7:32 am

granmastern wrote:Edit:

Queerious Toast wrote:
Mr Aids wrote:Alex is Pyroman.

Epic plot twist.


...
I assumed that Alex was your girlfriend. No offense, Pyro.


Hahaha, Its funny how many times Pyro got confused for a girl.



Haha, I know, right?

Queerious Toast wrote:
Mr Aids wrote:Alex is Pyroman.

Epic plot twist.


...
I assumed that Alex was your girlfriend. No offense, Pyro.


Yeah I pretty much am anyway.
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby Pyroman » October 3rd, 2009, 2:34 am

Friend: Tomorrow, 5pm. Channel 7. NRL Final. Storm vs Eels. COME ON THE STORM! Bring the Thunder, Premiers '09!
Other Friend:
*clicks the non-existing "dislike" button*
Friend:
Look, I'm sorry. Just because you enjoy your Aerial Ping-pong. Really, don't diss other people's sports tyvm. I don't appreciate the negative Victorian attitude to Rugby League and Union.
Me:We're all just a bit homophobic is all.


SEE WHAT I DID THERE?
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby Queerious Toast » October 22nd, 2009, 7:38 am

A conversation I had with one of my closest male friends about Tekken. It was quite... brief.

Me: Oh God, I'm gay for Leo! XD

Him: Is that so? I wonder who am I gay for...

Me: Lee?

Him: ... a bit X3

Me: Didn't you tell me that you find Miguel sexy?

Him: Oh right... can it be a threesome?

Me: OMG someone will do a goatse

Him: Joan!!! You're so perverted!
...

Who do you think will do it? X3

Me: OH GOD THE MENTAL IMAGE.
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby stripedwine » November 14th, 2009, 10:37 pm

Her (10:34:05 PM): FUCK we are so otp it's not even fucking funny
Him (10:34:13 PM): xDDDDDD
Him (10:34:21 PM): its a little funny :P
Her (10:34:23 PM): NO
Her (10:34:25 PM): NO LAUGHING
Him (10:34:28 PM): xDDDDDDDDDDDD
Her (10:34:35 PM): GODDAMNIT IT'S CONTAGOUS
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby Pyroman » December 14th, 2009, 11:37 pm

Mr Aids: I love not having parents home, it means I can eat at the computer
and stand in the driveway in my socks

Pyroman: you rebel

Mr Aids: mwahaha

Pyroman: you'll kill us all, Maverick!
You're a loose cannon!
I'm taking you off the case

Mr Aids: BUT THIS IS MY CASE CAPTAIN
MY CASE
MMMIIINNNEEEEE

Pyroman: I'm sick of having the DA breathing down my neck, Maverick
you're a danger to yourself, and a danger to this precinct
I'm putting you on deskwork until I'm happy that you're nice and calmed down, y'hear?

Mr Aids: the only things that need to calm down are my fists
after they've beaten you, of course

Pyroman: Are you threatening me?
I'll have your badge for this, Maverick
Just you wait and see
I don't care how many cases you've closed

Mr Aids: I caught your wife's killer captain
in my explosive bear traps
you can't do this to me
you need me

Pyroman: I won't deny you get results, but you can't go around running into fruit stands and conveniently place piles of boxes these days
Times have changed Maverick, and I'm up to my neck in civilian complaints about you

Mr Aids: we don't do this for the civilians captain
we do this for the ratings

Pyroman: We need to bring in a new crowd, Maverick, and your antics are pushing away the audience
you're alienating the viewers
We need homey, big cop heart stuff, and your renagade actions are no longer acceptable

Mr Aids: NO LONGER ACCEPTABLE

Pyroman: That's IT Maverick. You've snapped for the last time, son. You're off the case, you're off my team, and you're out of this precinct.
I want your badge and gun on the table by tomorrow morning
you have thirty minutes to clean your stuff and get the hell out of my sight

Mr Aids: I have a better idea
how about I shoot you in the thigh

Pyroman: That sounds like a terrible idea

Mr Aids: I'm too fucking cool to give a shit
*bang *

Pyroman: Arrrghhh
This is why I need you Maverick
You're quick thinking
you got brains, kid
you're back on the case
Now get me a cigarette

Mr Aids: *lights cigarette, takes a drag and flicks it at you *
I'll be in touch
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby tezzle » December 14th, 2009, 11:48 pm

Just happened:
Pops says:
*My last name can legally be spelt 2 ways
*Poupard or Poepard
Tezzle says:
*If you split up that last one it’s like saying “POPE HARD.”
*Twelve sinner, one Holy man. The odds are against Benedict XVI...That’s just the way he likes it.
“ ‘Come down to the coast, we’ll get together, have a few mass...’ ”
POPE HARD!
I'm Tooch now.
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby taboo » December 15th, 2009, 10:21 am

i have a problem with random jerks showing up on my AIM that i've never met

this one particular jerk revealed to me that he draws pornography from the show THE OBLONGS and instead of putting him on ignore, i just start messing with him

it was funny while it lasted but then found me on LJ and Deviantart and i guess the lesson here is to tell people to F OFF more often

i removed the links and profanity

Spoiler! :
dragonflyhunter8 (6:51:51 PM): Do you know Kaput & Zosky?
Tabooze (6:51:51 PM): no
dragonflyhunter8 (6:53:04 PM): Here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLc4RMaM_zo
dragonflyhunter8 (6:53:17 PM): Zosky looks like a girl, but he's a MAN!
Tabooze (6:53:57 PM): oh ive seen that before
dragonflyhunter8 (6:54:09 PM): I like Zosky!
dragonflyhunter8 (7:15:40 PM): Any requests?
Tabooze (7:15:58 PM): draw courage
dragonflyhunter8 (7:16:17 PM): I draw him.
dragonflyhunter8 (7:16:24 PM): I even draw dirty pics!
Tabooze (7:16:27 PM): oh lol
dragonflyhunter8 (7:16:44 PM): I like Susie in porn.
Tabooze (7:17:17 PM): hahahaha
dragonflyhunter8 (7:17:57 PM): I even drew her as the girl scout peeing in a picture like drinking her own urine.
Tabooze (7:19:04 PM): i have to see this
dragonflyhunter8 (7:22:01 PM): Look: *link removed*
dragonflyhunter8 (7:23:44 PM): You know 14-Bis?
Tabooze (7:23:43 PM): no
dragonflyhunter8 (7:24:06 PM): Do you have enough money for a commission?
Tabooze (7:24:17 PM): what, for me to commission you?
dragonflyhunter8 (7:24:30 PM): No,
Tabooze (7:25:42 PM): i have no money
dragonflyhunter8 (7:25:58 PM): Okay.
dragonflyhunter8 (7:26:09 PM): You could request me.
dragonflyhunter8 (7:26:19 PM): What you wanna see Susie doing?
Tabooze (7:26:27 PM): cartweels into the flames of hell
dragonflyhunter8 (7:26:50 PM): Um, no.
dragonflyhunter8 (7:27:00 PM): I'm into her ******
Tabooze (7:27:35 PM): hmm
Tabooze (7:28:15 PM): i dont know
dragonflyhunter8 (7:28:58 PM): You could think, here's one: *link removed*
(7:30:42 PM): Like it?
Tabooze (7:31:09 PM): your anatomy could use some work
dragonflyhunter8 (7:32:00 PM): Like what?
dragonflyhunter8 (7:32:13 PM): The rest of the *****n' body?
dragonflyhunter8 (7:32:18 PM): For the male?
Tabooze (7:32:20 PM): yes
dragonflyhunter8 (7:32:56 PM): I draw her with Milo but her head was way too big!
Tabooze (7:34:03 PM): do you just draw suzie porn
dragonflyhunter8 (7:34:19 PM): No.
dragonflyhunter8 (7:34:27 PM): I draw Maggot, Shirley
dragonflyhunter8 (7:34:44 PM): Lemony from Yakkity Yak?
Tabooze (7:34:55 PM): is that the one with the pineapple head
Tabooze (7:38:10 PM): what is the most insane thing you've ever drawn
dragonflyhunter8 (7:38:27 PM): I dunno.
dragonflyhunter8 (7:38:32 PM): I drew alot.
Tabooze (7:38:38 PM): just pick one
dragonflyhunter8 (7:39:27 PM): Um, Susie with her head too big?
Tabooze (7:39:35 PM): ok
dragonflyhunter8 (7:39:55 PM): Requests?
Tabooze (7:40:10 PM): do you draw eustace bagg from courage
dragonflyhunter8 (7:40:23 PM): Yes.
Tabooze (7:40:32 PM): i want to see
dragonflyhunter8 (7:44:47 PM): Here: *link removed*
Tabooze (7:47:27 PM): its beautiful
dragonflyhunter8 (7:47:49 PM): Any requests?
Tabooze (7:48:30 PM): eustace peeing on naruto's face
dragonflyhunter8 (7:49:05 PM): Ewwwww.
dragonflyhunter8 (7:49:16 PM): I don't draw Naruto characters.
Tabooze (7:49:37 PM): you should
Tabooze (7:49:40 PM): for me
Tabooze (7:49:48 PM): draw eustace pooping on naruto's face
dragonflyhunter8 (7:50:09 PM): Still gross.
dragonflyhunter8 (7:50:14 PM): Perhaps you draw?
Tabooze (7:51:10 PM): nah
dragonflyhunter8 (7:51:50 PM): How about Susie punishes one of the Debbies.
Tabooze (7:51:53 PM): sure
dragonflyhunter8 (7:52:31 PM): Or howabout Susie with Helga. Both of them are my faves besides Milo.
dragonflyhunter8 (7:52:36 PM): Beth is cute too!
dragonflyhunter8 (7:53:27 PM): I was thinking of Susie with Max.
Tabooze (7:53:59 PM): sure
dragonflyhunter8 (7:54:28 PM): Who should Susie date?
Yakko or Max?
Tabooze (7:54:58 PM): scooby doo
dragonflyhunter8 (7:55:11 PM): Why?
Tabooze (7:55:22 PM): dont you think he's kinda hott for a dog
dragonflyhunter8 (7:55:35 PM): Well,
dragonflyhunter8 (7:55:40 PM): He's scardey.
Tabooze (7:55:56 PM): so draw her giving him a scooby snack or something
dragonflyhunter8 (7:56:36 PM): Still not a drawing of my type.
Tabooze (7:56:58 PM): what about your fans
dragonflyhunter8 (7:57:11 PM): I gave you 2 options.
Tabooze (7:57:08 PM): what your fans want to see
dragonflyhunter8 (7:57:37 PM): Yakko or Max?
Tabooze (7:57:38 PM): why not both
dragonflyhunter8 (7:57:59 PM): Maybe.
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby Pyroman » January 1st, 2010, 11:33 pm

Mr Aids: my parents left the house
YAY
no one can hassle me about getting a job for like
2 hours or so

Pyroman: Woo
Well done

Mr Aids: I must barricade the house in their absence and live out the rest of my days on what I have available to me

Pyroman: You can't live off of Gay pornography

Mr Aids: I can try
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby Mr Aids » January 7th, 2010, 2:49 am

TCF says:
i think i'm having a heart attack
Aids says:
then my work here is done
TCF says:
what side is the heart on
Aids says:
the inside
I AM FUCKING HILARIOUS


TCF is now dead. This convo was written on his tombstone.
kevansevans wrote:
robybang wrote:Also, it's the internet, people always argue over dumb stuff.

Nuh uh
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby Pyroman » January 7th, 2010, 2:50 am

EPIC.
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby bricks » January 7th, 2010, 3:05 am

today my mother and i went to the mall to buy stuff and a friend of mine had said she would be cosplaying all day in the city
we looked out for her but couldnt see her
anyway, as we were walking along we saw these girls with vivid red and blue hair and like.. goth-ish dresses on etc
my mother was like, "are they cosplaying or are they..?"
me: "they're just freaks"


oh i'm so awful aren't i

i thought it was funny though
☆★I like rocks.★☆
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby TCF » January 7th, 2010, 3:18 am

Goths are not freaks :cry:
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby Mr Aids » January 7th, 2010, 3:33 am

TCF wrote:Goths are not freaks :cry:


GET BACK IN YOUR GRAVE
kevansevans wrote:
robybang wrote:Also, it's the internet, people always argue over dumb stuff.

Nuh uh
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby Carlos Winters » January 7th, 2010, 3:50 am

I am against the show as you type thing.. All too often I type a sentance that I realize I really don't wanna send XD



Also, I wanna contribute to the funny IM stuffs.
Anita (1/3/2010 8:04:49 AM): I want you...did you know that? <TwLoHa>
Carlos (1/3/2010 8:05:54 AM): How do you want me? xD
Anita (1/3/2010 8:06:27 AM): You know.. <TwLoHa>
Carlos (1/3/2010 8:07:03 AM): Ah
Anita (1/3/2010 8:08:39 AM): Wha.. <TwLoHa>
Carlos (1/3/2010 8:10:34 AM): Hehe.
Anita (1/3/2010 8:10:55 AM): Wha? Lol <TwLoHa>
Carlos (1/3/2010 8:11:50 AM): You know
Anita (1/3/2010 8:13:26 AM): No. Come on tell me <TwLoHa>
Carlos (1/3/2010 8:16:42 AM): You said I know.
Anita (1/3/2010 8:17:33 AM): I want to know what you thought. <TwLoHa>
Carlos (1/3/2010 8:18:15 AM): Well, you said I know, so I'm assuming what I think is what it is. I believe I know now. =)
Carlos (1/3/2010 8:18:38 AM): You're so dirty sometimes. Whip cream, really? XD
Anita (1/3/2010 8:19:12 AM): Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me..i didnt say anything about whip cream.. <TwLoHa>
Carlos (1/3/2010 8:20:43 AM): You said I know.. So, that means I know. And you didn't say whip cream, but that's definitely what I'm thinking
Anita (1/3/2010 8:21:32 AM): Hmmm well I guess we could have whip cream. <TwLoHa>
Carlos (1/3/2010 8:24:37 AM): Mmhmm. Fuzzy cuffs too.
Carlos (1/3/2010 8:25:53 AM): I really don't understand the apple.. But.. I really don't mind it either...
Anita (1/3/2010 8:26:22 AM): Pink ones would be nice. What the fuck about an apple? <TwLoHa>
Carlos (1/3/2010 8:27:04 AM): As I said, I don't understand it.. It's just how I know you want me XD Maybe you could tell me whatsup with the apple?
Anita (1/3/2010 8:28:12 AM): Umm i dont know anything about an apple. Im sorry. <TwLoHa>
Carlos (1/3/2010 8:31:53 AM): Ohhh.. I thought I was dead on with that one. You sure you don't know what the apple is for? ._.
Anita (1/3/2010 8:32:42 AM): Where did you get an apple from..are you okay? <TwLoHa>
Carlos (1/3/2010 8:35:16 AM): I was kidding about the apple thing by the way.
Anita (1/3/2010 8:35:59 AM): Ohhhh. I was getting freaked out..you totally killed my hornyness though. XD <TwLoHa>
Carlos (1/3/2010 8:36:09 AM): XD I'm sorry, lol..
Anita (1/3/2010 8:36:31 AM): I guess its okay. <TwLoHa>
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Re: Embarassing/Funny IM

Postby tezzle » January 8th, 2010, 4:16 am

We were in a group chat and everyone had left but my friend Pops (he's not old, his last name starts with "Pop") and I. If this has taught me one thing about myself it's that I'm nothing if not committed:
Tezzle says:
*So it is down to you...and it is down to me.
Pops says:
*O:
Tezzle says:
*If you wish her dead, by all mean keep moving forward.
Pops says:
*...OK 8D
Tezzle says:
*There's nothing to explain. You're trying to kidnap what I've rightfully stolen.
Pops says:
*T_T Says you
Tezzle says:
*There will be NO arrangment...and you're killing her.
Pops says:
*Okiedokey
Tezzle says:
*I'm afraid so. I can't compete with you physically...and you're no match for my brains.
Pops says:
*Oh dear.
Tezzle says:
*Let me put it this way: Have you ever heard of Plato? Aristotle? Socrates?
Pops says:
*Heard OF them, yes
Tezzle says:
*Morons.
Pops says:
*^D
Tezzle says:
*For the Princess?...To the DEATH?...I accept!
Pops says:
*yey
Tezzle says:
*...I smell nothing.
Pops says:
*Because you SUCK >:U
Tezzle says:
*Hmm.
Pops says:
*Indeed
Tezzle says:
*But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet, or his enemies? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I'm not a gret fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of YOU...but you must've known I was not a great fool, you would've counted on it, so I can clearly no choose the wine in front of ME.
Pops says:
*...Go ooon.
Tezzle says:
*Not remotely. Because Iocane comes from Australia! As everyone knows! And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
Pops says:
*Yeah, those filthy Australians, nothing but CRIMINALS >:U
Tezzle says:
*Wait 'til I get going!...Where was I?
Pops says:
*I don't know
Tezzle says:
*Yes! Australia! And you must have suspected I would've known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Pops says:
*Clearly...
Tezzle says:
*You'd like to THINK that, wouldn't you?! You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your OWN goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not chose the wine in front of YOU. But you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would've put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly no choose the wine in front of ME!
Pops says:
*Just pick a wine already, you're boring me T_T
Tezzle says:
*It HAS worked! You've given EVERYTHING away! I know where this poison is!
Pops says:
*DD: NO YOU DON'T
Tezzle says:
*I WILL! And I choose - *GASP!* What in the world can THAT be?!
Pops says:
*:-O What what is
Tezzle says:
*Well, uh, I could've sworn I saw something, ah-hah, no matter, hmm. Heh-heh-heh-hmm...
Pops says:
*^^;
Tezzle says:
*Uh, I'll tell you in a minute...First...Let's drink.
*Me from my glass, and YOU from YOURS.
Pops says:
*Uh...ok
Tezzle says:
*Hm-hm-hm...
Pops says:
*:S...
Tezzle says:
*You only THINK I guess wrong! THAT'S WHAT'S SO FUNNY! I SWITCHED GLASSES WHILE YOUR BACK WAS TURNED! HA HA, YOU FOOL! You fell victim to one of the classic BLUNDERS! The most famous is "Never get involved in a land war with Asia," but only slightly LESS well known is THIS: "Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line!" AHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAA! HA HAHAHA HA...*THUD*
Pops says:
*Eh heh heh...heh heh....heh
I'm Tooch now.
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