I need a girlfriend. I'm so lonely.

[xkrazydog]

You want friends not a girlfriend. Trust me on that.

[AceLune]

All the important stuff have been said here I guess.

If this can cheer you up, I'm 28, I had 2 boyfriends so far,I had my first one at the age of 18.
I'm still with my second, we been together for 5 years now and we moved together a while ago.

I never been a popular girl, I was pretty shy so I turned down some guys and I did felt lonely at some point as well, but honestly it worth waiting.

[cheezNH]

i didn't have my first boyfriend until i was 18. now i'm 27 and married to the guy i was with for 4 years. prior to my husband i dated three guys.

no big deal dude!

i agree with xkrazydog. at 15, you should be hanging out with your friends and expanding your social circle. you shouldn't even worry about a serious relationship until you're about to hit 20.

[RTSSH21]

You know how people say "You don't want to be in a relationship, you're better off being single!"? Well, one of the reasons I want to get in a relationship is so I can say "Been there, done that".

...well. [brick'd for being one of those]
It's okay to want to be in a relationship, but... lets just say i dont know whether others would be better off single or not, but i rushed it when i went for it and man, i really regret it. I thought being in a relationship would be nice too, and trust me on this, if you don't hang with people and just have fun with them, i cant see any reason why you WOULDN'T get crushed/turned down. Enjoy yourself before someone else does, you'll have fonder memories that way. I won't give you my life story on this unless you really want it, but i wish id waited until 25 for even the dating part - granted im 20 now, so i still dont plan on making any more moves for almost 5 years. If romance is gonna hit me like a truck, I'd rather it be a natural, non-fustrating, "stuck-on-the-hood-of-the-vehicle-as-we-slowly-wheel-through-the-park-with-a-stalled-engine-instead-of-crashing-to-our-dooms" type deal.

seriously, its much nicer to get hit by a vehicle by surprise than it is to know its coming but be tied up with your thoughts so you cant get out of the way for impact. Love works that way too, in my experience. besides, best time to find people is the end of high school when people are still fun-loving but aren't so immature, or college clubs. my friends offline are evidence of this.

[Snuffan]

I suggest that you ignore the topic of relationships and girlfriends right now. Focus on being happy by yourself, or make friends, or find a hobby that you like. When you're happy with yourself is when you're ready to date.

When you feel lonely, let's describe that as a hole in your body. Trying to fill this hole with another person won't work. Only two "filled" people can have a happy relationship together.

You feeling lonely and sad won't be helped by having a relationship, and I strongly disagree with the advice of dating techniques you've recieved in this thread. It doesn't have to do with your age, it has do to with how emotionally mature you are and how developed you are as a person, and pursuing a relationship due to feeling alone shows that you're not emotionally ready for a relationship.

[fishfauna]

I'm with you on that, if I had a girlfriend, I'd be a lot happier, and a lot less stressed.

Or at least, that's what my hormonal mind tells me. Right now, unfortunately, I have other things to worry about. My advice? Just wait. You're fifteen, not fifty - you have tons of time. It's like ... shoving two puzzle pieces together! The more you do it, the more you feel like a fool for forcing two clearly separate pieces of that puzzle in an effort to get your desired product. Or something philosophical and helpful.

Though, really? Get a cat. Or a fish. Fish are cool.

[Applekai13]

Lizards are neat too- and you can cuddle with them! (Bearded dragons at least)

[tsubasa-myuu]

so, I'm a girl fresh outta highschool

When they say girls can smell desprate, THEY CAN
I don't know about asking out every girl you blush at. that could be quite a bit. and if they are all people who could possibly know eachother, well, you could end up in some kinda deep trouble. I'm not saying this to be mean. Being a comic loving gamer girl i got asked out by every guy who liked comics and videogames because I was one of the few they could talk to about the stuff. problem was they has already asked out 90% of my friends -.- that kinda makes it one, awkward, and two, kiiiinda creepy. also, rumors get stretched and thrown around so just, be careful.

I guess the best thing i can tell you from a girls stand point is get to know a lot of girls. try your best to get to know each of them, hang out with them and friends, make them comfortable enough around you that they can be with just you and have it not feel completely awkward. Laughing is good. make them laugh, like the other guy said. just don't ask one out after another. Try and pay attention to their attitude towards you, and see how they act around other people. If you can pick out a friend that is a girl that might like you even a little bit, just start asking them to hang out. first with a bunch of people, then less and less until you are comfortable enough around each other to go somewhere together. even tell them its "not really a date" to make it more comfortable (even though it totally is a date)

I think what girls, (at least i was) looking for is just a guy who they can feel comfortable around. Try not to shy away so much that you can't have a conversation, work against your awkwardness to make the situation less awkward. (I had to do this too, even though i'm a girl. the guy i'm dating now isn't the smoothest guy either but i think his awkward is cute) if you start as friends, read the signs, hang out outside of school with other friends, and then work your way towards a date you should do fiiine if at least not a little bit better. and you'll make good friends in the process, regardless. DONT UNDERESTIMATE FRIENDSHIP. and please please please don't just stop talking to a girl because she says no. that just makes you seem like a jerk and she will tell people.

er, i hope i helped, a little bit...

[findingparadise]

yeah. so agree with a lot of the above.

.. but would like to add a little perspective. you have to accept the fact that it is ok if people don't like you. there is no man or woman, no matter how beautiful and great that doesn't have at least a few haters. so its no big issue if a girl/guy says no, its normal. also there is nothing wrong with liking someone, it is nothing to be embarrassed about, so don't stress too much about asking if you do. aaaaand finally. liking people is usually reciprocal, so if you find you click with someone for real its probably reciprocal. difficulty is to tell if the click is real. as with making comics, its something you get better at with time. and you will fail frequently and badly until at one point you will get it right. like anything in life, you need to work at it.

to sum up: find what you're interested in, do what you're interested in, you will meet people you are interested in while doing that, and the rest will follow.

[repsychus]

You cannot have a relationship until you are able to be happy with yourself. What on earth makes you think a girl wants to be with you when you're having a hard time being with yourself? You think a girlfriend is going to solve loneliness? You think the ache in your heart the size of Kansas is just going to go away because you have a relationship? Sweetie, relationships are WORK. They're two people, both of which usually have baggage. If you can't cope with your own, what makes you think you can cope with hers?

You don't need a girlfriend. You need to be yourself. Love comes to those who least expect it - or want it.

[mitchellbravo]

Poopenheimer was a really active poster for like two months but then hasn't been here since April.

You guys. I think it happened. I think he got a girlfriend.

You go, Poopenheimer!

[repsychus]

...Or died of loneliness.

[mitchellbravo]

...Or died of loneliness.

poopenheimer we hardly knew ye

[Mayja.Walsh]

I didn't have my first relationship until I was 18. my first year of college, why?
because in high school people figure out who you are and perceptions either false or true will stick for years. In college you can truly be yourself without the old beliefs attached to you, also in college people start growing up and their personalities are less likely to change that dramatically, people are more trustworthy and relationships last longer because they are usually more serious.

if you're lonely get a tight circle of friends or a dog/cat/any pet that you can take care of.

there is no rush, really there isn't, take it from a 24 year old who waited on purpose, it was the best decision I made for myself.
and if you're wonder yes I did meet a mr. right on the 4th try.

[ZephyrPrower]

:/ I'm just about turning 21. Never been in a relationship before.

From personal experience through school, dating for quite a few people starts around age 13, possibly 12 if you're among the popular crowd in middle school/junior high school. I think more than a third of students in my highschool were in their first or even third relationships by the time they were 15.

In high school, it used to bother me like crazy. A fair number of friends I knew either were in relationships, or had been in relationships. I was always considered to be the nice guy, popular with the girls. Yet totally friendzoned by all of them since day one. I never had a shot to begin with. It did hit my self image pretty hard back then, but I've since then gotten over it.

Relationships aren't worth it if you're getting fairly stressed or worried over it. Also, if it takes any of you less than 9 months to ask out someone, you're doing better than me. The best way to get close to a girl is to just TALK to them like normal. They're people, too. Blatant flirting probably comes across as unnatural or forced.

I might not be the best person to get advice from, though. I'm very... particular... Looks, personality, attitude, hobbies, I take them all into heavy consideration, and I don't build close connections easily. In terms of looks and personality, in the past decade, I've only found four girls attractive enough to even ponder the idea. Everything considered together, only one girl is a sure fire yes from me, while the other two I believe already preemptively friendzoned me. I talk to girls in pretty much only two modes: "We're at least good friends", or "we don't really know each other well [yet]", so I'm sure my perception of them is of minimal-to-no effect on how they see me.

While a relationship will, by definition, solve loneliness, the chances are slim-to-none that someone would put it upon themselves to be there for you if they don't already feel a connection of sorts to you, ie. your chances aren't great if you "want a girlfriend because you're lonely". A relationship also won't take care of any heartache - unless it's a mutual supportive relationship, which brings me to another point. I do want to comment on the note that "relationships are work". In an ideal relationship, it shouldn't be "work". At the very least, it shouldn't feel like any additional work. As people, both partners should have a desire for their own happiness. Also, as a couple, both partners should also have a desire for each other to be happy. I wouldn't imagine it to be any more difficult than being single, if both partners have this mutual desire for happiness. Maybe I'm still naive and overestimate the good in people, but this is how it in theory should work.

Just a bit of a rant here to get stress off my mind about relationships, or my lack thereof.