I have a problem. My 19 year old little brother.

[Mechanicalpenguin]

Then try talking to the boyfriend about it, I don't have much more advice on stuff like this since my parents don't put up with shit from their kids. Sorry ;-;

I might. But he doesn't want to do anything that would make my mom mad.

Thanks for talking to me! And lucky, I wish my mother was a little stricter on him.

[ninjies]

I don't know. My mom speculates aspergers. (He is good at math.) I would confront him myself but he finally stopped being physically abusive since I've avoided him. I don't want to get back into that. -_-

aspergers sounds likely, but i think it would be a good idea to get a professional to look at him. i have seen a LOT of kids with autism and asperger's who act just like your brother, basically. on the other hand, even more autistic/aspergic kids i've seen despise being treated like they're not capable of certain things and want to be treated as though they didn't have autism/asperger's.
i think the fact that he might be mentally challenged makes this whole situation even sadder. it seems to me he's been spoiled his entire life due to it, and it's turned him into the type of person he is today. i can understand your frustration in that sense, and you can disregard most of what i said before, because i was regarding him as a fully mentally competent individual.

again, though, if you have the means, i'd reaaaallly try to get him to a psychologist. if not, he's just going to keep on this way because it seems like no one wants to be the bad guy and set him straight, and he's going to keep being a nuisance to your family financially.

also, the type of physical abuse you're describing is not okay under any circumstance, and no matter what you decide to do in the end, THAT needs to be addressed.

[NeoKitai]

I had to buy a Wii using my own money... when I was 12... and I still have no allowance. I'm happy with my purchase, though- I just got it into my room after 2-3 years. Feels so good. Parents are like that, yeah.

Honestly, I read what you wrote. Talk to your mom's boyfriend. He's the person you can truly trust and is the only person powerful enough to weaken him. But beware- since your mom loves the damned kid, he'll try to get rid of her boyfriend. That's a problem.

[Christh^^]

About the Aspergers, depending on the level of it, it's not really a mental problem, I have an acute case of it, and I'm nothing like your brother.

[Mechanicalpenguin]

aspergers sounds likely, but i think it would be a good idea to get a professional to look at him. i have seen a LOT of kids with autism and asperger's who act just like your brother, basically. on the other hand, even more autistic/aspergic kids i've seen despise being treated like they're not capable of certain things and want to be treated as though they didn't have autism/asperger's.
i think the fact that he might be mentally challenged makes this whole situation even sadder. it seems to me he's been spoiled his entire life due to it, and it's turned him into the type of person he is today. i can understand your frustration in that sense, and you can disregard most of what i said before, because i was regarding him as a fully mentally competent individual.

again, though, if you have the means, i'd reaaaallly try to get him to a psychologist. if not, he's just going to keep on this way because it seems like no one wants to be the bad guy and set him straight, and he's going to keep being a nuisance to your family financially.

also, the type of physical abuse you're describing is not okay under any circumstance, and no matter what you decide to do in the end, THAT needs to be addressed.

Issue is he is already nineteen and thinks he is a perfectly innocent normal person. And we have no money for a psychologist. I've been telling mom for years that something is wrong with him; but there is nothing we can do. She's just glad he is getting decent grades in college and what not. Maybe one day he will mature and realize his own mistakes; but it is very unlikely. He hold his job-less, spoiled, 24-7 xbox playing self on a very high pedestal.

I'm a small person so I don't want him to start to get abusive which he will if he feels trapped or turned against by everyone. My and my boyfriend played risk with him years ago and my brother was about to throw his dice at my boy. Fortunately my boy is taller than him and is the only reason why my brother didn't go through with his assault.

I had to buy a Wii using my own money... when I was 12... and I still have no allowance. I'm happy with my purchase, though- I just got it into my room after 2-3 years. Feels so good. Parents are like that, yeah.

Honestly, I read what you wrote. Talk to your mom's boyfriend. He's the person you can truly trust and is the only person powerful enough to weaken him. But beware- since your mom loves the damned kid, he'll try to get rid of her boyfriend. That's a problem.

Haha. My mom bought my brother every game system you can think of and bought him karate lessons which he got bored with and quit because he wanted to play xbox. I always wanted karate lessons... Instead years later I got tai chi lessons; shamefully I also had two gym classes and a dance class in school at the same time so I had to quit. y.y I never got a game station.

The guy has been her boyfriend for around fourteen years so there is no way he can get rid of him; but my brother wont take him seriously even if he yells at him.

About the Aspergers, depending on the level of it, it's not really a mental problem, I have an acute case of it, and I'm nothing like your brother.

Yeah, I figure he has it acute as well making it so he just barely fits in with society; but you probably weren't spoiled rotten.

[Christh^^]

No I wasn't and that's the problem with your brother, but don't worry, when he gets out in the world he'll find out that nothing will be handed out to him on a silver platter, then MAYBE he'll grow up.

[blankd]

Oh my, the possibility of something mental changes things a little, at least with how you should "deal" with him. Try to get him to get diagnosed, and even if he doesn't have anything you should be able to get the rest of his behavior addressed or at least somewhat on the right path to deal with it. If he outright refuses you can attempt the stern path but its ultimately your call because it is a problem he has nurtured and you can only point him in the right direction so much...

But the physical stuff is still distressing and I still stand by getting out as soon as you can.

NINJA EDIT: Good lord the more I learn the sadder I get for you both for completely different reasons. )8

[ninjies]

Issue is he is already nineteen and thinks he is a perfectly innocent normal person. And we have no money for a psychologist. I've been telling mom for years that something is wrong with him; but there is nothing we can do. She's just glad he is getting decent grades in college and what not. Maybe one day he will mature and realize his own mistakes; but it is very unlikely. He hold his job-less, spoiled, 24-7 xbox playing self on a very high pedestal.

the sad thing is that if and when he gets kicked out of the house, he won't know what to do. people with asperger's, especially those who were spoiled, have an extremely difficult time living on their own. i mean, the way you describe him, i see him either living at home for a looong time or becoming homeless :/ i'm surprised your mom can afford to send him to college, but not shell out $100 for a simple diagnosis.

[sarall]

the sad thing is that if and when he gets kicked out of the house, he won't know what to do. people with asperger's, especially those who were spoiled, have an extremely difficult time living on their own. i mean, the way you describe him, i see him either living at home for a looong time or becoming homeless :/ i'm surprised your mom can afford to send him to college, but not shell out $100 for a simple diagnosis.

This is a good point. Your campus may even have a psychology clinic where grad students can perform diagnostic evals at a discount. Or if you get him checked at the clinic where he attends classes (don't know if that's your campus too or not), he can probably get a student discount of some sort. I know at our (Speech and Hearing) clinic, we offer students half off all services. Maybe it's something to check into?

[Mechanicalpenguin]

the sad thing is that if and when he gets kicked out of the house, he won't know what to do. people with asperger's, especially those who were spoiled, have an extremely difficult time living on their own. i mean, the way you describe him, i see him either living at home for a looong time or becoming homeless :/ i'm surprised your mom can afford to send him to college, but not shell out $100 for a simple diagnosis.

He'll be with mom forever and she already knows it. =/

We have loans for college which helps.

We are finally getting a kitchen sink on our kitchen. xD We haven't had a kitchen sink in a whole year. We need money for other things and I think she doesn't want to think there is anything wrong with him.

Oh my, the possibility of something mental changes things a little, at least with how you should "deal" with him. Try to get him to get diagnosed, and even if he doesn't have anything you should be able to get the rest of his behavior addressed or at least somewhat on the right path to deal with it. If he outright refuses you can attempt the stern path but its ultimately your call because it is a problem he has nurtured and you can only point him in the right direction so much...

But the physical stuff is still distressing and I still stand by getting out as soon as you can.

NINJA EDIT: Good lord the more I learn the sadder I get for you both for completely different reasons. )8

I know my boyfriend will go after my brother if my brother hurts me; but I would rather not have the situation occur. All we can do is hope he gets better, it seems. =/ Even if he does. I can never forgive him. Though. He knows right from wrong but chooses to ignore it.

No I wasn't and that's the problem with your brother, but don't worry, when he gets out in the world he'll find out that nothing will be handed out to him on a silver platter, then MAYBE he'll grow up.

Maybe. +.+ I doubt it. The only other person I met that is worse than him was some guy who claimed he would wait for me to die to rape me. There are so many mental problems in this generation that is makes me sad.

the sad thing is that if and when he gets kicked out of the house, he won't know what to do. people with asperger's, especially those who were spoiled, have an extremely difficult time living on their own. i mean, the way you describe him, i see him either living at home for a looong time or becoming homeless :/ i'm surprised your mom can afford to send him to college, but not shell out $100 for a simple diagnosis.

This is a good point. Your campus may even have a psychology clinic where grad students can perform diagnostic evals at a discount. Or if you get him checked at the clinic where he attends classes (don't know if that's your campus too or not), he can probably get a student discount of some sort. I know at our (Speech and Hearing) clinic, we offer students half off all services. Maybe it's something to check into?

Yeah, same campus shamefully but I'll be going to a different college in a few semesters, hopefully. But I don't know if I want him to hear about what he has. I mean, I'm not exceptionally intelligent at all; my memory is terrible. I once forgot my middle name and birthday and had to ask my best friend because I needed to write it down for some school papers. Fortunately I'm getting better thanks to memory tricks and writing things down on my arm. Everyone has their own things to get past but I hate when people use it as an excuse to act badly! I know if my brother hears that he has aspergers he will milk it for all it's worth. =/

[corruption]

To me it sounds like someone needs to make him suffer in a way that won't get him any sympathy. I know just the way. You say he is into beastiality and guys. Get evidence of it and send it to your mother. If I was you I would also worry about what he may be doing with your clothes while you are not there. Any go missing?

It sounds like your mother needs to see that he needs help. I recommend electroshock therapy. As long as your mother is blind to what is going on, he will contue to be a spoilt brat. You need to shock her into seeing the truth. Beastiality is illegal, so send evidence of that to the police and let them take care of letting your mother know what is happening. He may have Hentai featuring Loli and Shota (anime porn with little girls and little boys). Let the police or your mother find them.

I also recommend hidding the foods you like in your room, if you can. Tea in an airtight jar can last a long time.

Can anyone see anything wrong with this?

[Ddraigeneth]

Having animal porn doesn't mean that there's any evidence of animal abuse, and bear in mind that (for most people) furry porn is different from actual animals, if that's what he's looking at.
Being attracted to this:



doesn't mean you're going to look at your pet cats any differently.

Loli and Shota, while possibly having a strong effect on a mother's thoughts, aren't inherently illegal in the United States (within certain boundaries, and yes, I actually looked it up before posting this). That aside, anything that could actually shock your mother, Sam, may not be a bad idea.

[blankd]

I recommend electroshock therapy.

Either your terming is wrong or you really don't understand what that can do to someone (nothing positive).

[Ddraigeneth]

^That too, I just don't know much about the subject, so I wasn't sure if there had been progress in controlling the effects better.

[blankd]

^It's still used but (as far as I know) its reserved for the "depressive" side of issues that haven't responded to anything else (like being depressive, being in a catatonic state, etc.)