TEKKA review

A board designated for full, article-length reviews of webcomics, local or foreign.
Forum rules
How things work around here:

    1) Webcomics get nominated for review in the Nominations for Review forum.
    2) People pick a webcomic to review and commit to writing an article-quality review of the comic by posting in its nomination thread.
    3) When complete, the review gets posted here, in the main forum.

TEKKA review

Postby Proxy170 » March 8th, 2014, 9:40 pm

I am fairly new to comics myself, but hopefully I can provide some third party perspective that can help you! I split the critique up into two parts, Art and Story.

Art:

Overall, the art is a bit messy but the colors really pop. Your pages are large, so I have to scroll around to see the whole page, and I just happen to be someone who likes to see the page as a whole without having to scroll around. I think it helps to think of a comic page as a whole unit, not just look at each frame as a picture, because your reader will want to take in the whole page (how you paneled it). Your lineart varies in thickness which is good, but it doesn't have any tapering between thicknesses, which then results in a messy look and doesn't give you the depth that varied line weight is intended to give. This also goes for your coloring/shading, which doesn't have tapering either so again, it comes out as sloppy. This is particularly noticeably on page 9, where the "energy" on the men looks more like scribble, because there is no variation in opacity or tapering. Page 9 also has some paneling issues, which you make even more noticeable by adding green arrows to guide the reader. Paneling is tricky, but if well executed it can make comic reading fun and not a chore. Your eyes will naturally flow left to right, top to bottom to try to pre-plan panels that way. Think of it as a zig zagging waterfall flowing down the page, and then you won't have to worry about your readers getting lost.
Something that you execute very well is varying the angle from which you draw each frame and how much you zoom in on the scene. Page 3 is particularly good for this, as you change angles and zoom in accordance with the tension and drama you are trying to establish.
I'm curious as to how you're exporting the pages, because sometimes they are crisp and clean, and other times they are blurry. I would recommend at least 300 dpi because of the potential for print quality, but then maybe export it at 50% ratio for web viewing.

Story:

You don't have too many pages yet, but from this opening scene you have clearly established drama between these two men. The problem is, you kill one of them off right away! This leaves the reader wondering what the next source of excitement will be. True, you have some other world beings that are about to cause trouble, but because we don't see our protagonist's reaction or interaction with them, you have diffused any tension that the reader has invested themselves in. On another note, it doesn't bother me personally, but there seems to be a general dislike for amnesia in the online comic reading community. My guess is that people use it as a convenient way to cut out stuff they don't want to explain, or use the main character to help the reader through their plot, versus people who use amnesia effectively as a plot point (think of the movie Momento)
Going more into technical details, you do a lot of telling rather than showing. If I were to read your text only without pictures, I would get the same sensory feedback as I do reading your comic now. That means that your writing is detracting from the art, and you aren't letting the art speak for itself. Right away on page two, it is odd that you describe a man smoking and the scene behind him, but then you draw that exact frame. Pretty much every one of your black boxes can be deleted and I would know what is going on--trust in your art! I know you said your wrote this for an animation, and write now the writing shows that. It reads excellently as a movie screenplay, but this is a comic and you don't need to put in so many words.

Overall, I think you have a lot of potential with this story--your characters are developed and you have art that can successfully carry a reader through the scene (you just have to trust it!). Try to focus on cleaning up the art to make it really shine and make sure you bring the tension back up to keep your readers interested.
Image
User avatar
Proxy170
 
Posts: 8
Joined: March 5th, 2014, 7:27 pm

Re: TEKKA review

Postby JoKeR » March 22nd, 2015, 9:45 pm

Link to the comic?
Image

-=: jokercologne.deviantart twitter.com/JoKeRcologne joker-cologne.tumblr :=-

Expect the unexpected. Never take anything for granted. Scrutinise everything. Be open-minded. Learn.
User avatar
JoKeR
 
Posts: 2545
Joined: June 10th, 2010, 3:42 am
Location: A City with a huge cathedral


Return to Webcomic Reviews

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests