Deep and Shallow Review

A board designated for full, article-length reviews of webcomics, local or foreign.
Forum rules
How things work around here:

    1) Webcomics get nominated for review in the Nominations for Review forum.
    2) People pick a webcomic to review and commit to writing an article-quality review of the comic by posting in its nomination thread.
    3) When complete, the review gets posted here, in the main forum.

Deep and Shallow Review

Postby BonesMcKay » March 15th, 2014, 11:29 pm

Webcomic: Deep and Shallow
Grade: C

Again embedding troubles. Sorry this took so long.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-gnZ9RotGw&list=UUd_-rT8ZhPG8G_IFuN1-KWg
Image
Image
Image
Feel free to Check out my tumblr
User avatar
BonesMcKay
 
Posts: 354
Joined: September 19th, 2012, 7:01 pm

Re: Deep and Shallow Review

Postby xox1melly1xox » March 28th, 2014, 6:30 pm

Thanks for taking the time to do the review!

I agree a lot with the things you have mentioned.

The same face syndrome that occurs between the characters. Truthfully, I didn't really think too much of it until later on as I kept drawing. Though I wasn't sure whether it was a good idea to suddenly change how they look all of a sudden. Strangely enough, I have trouble liking my own attempts at making my diverse features, let alone my own drawings. Ironically, I like diversity in other people's works though.

Anime-shortcuts, I'll keep in mind to avoid using them. Though, would it be all right to use them for punchlines though?

The text issue... I also noticed it as well. The transition in the font in the scene was non-existent and blunt. I wasn't sure whether to keep the girly font for that scene, since it seems to be slightly out of place as well. I'll see if I can find a better font, or simply change it back to the default font for the comic.

The comic flow and writing, still trying to improve on it. I still don't really understand making things properly. I've googled around and lurked around the tutorial forums occasionally on. It's like I can see what people are trying to say in the tutorials and explanations for flow, but visualizing and applying it myself is a completely different story ^^'...

Story-wise... I'm not sure if I can improve much... I am withholding some information on the characters... while they would probably add more to the character. I don't think it would fix the boring-ness of the comic, which is as you said, nothing has really happened. I'm a bit confused as to what would be considered to have something happened though. Are you referring to as something dramatic, or just something to get things moving somewhere? Some of the ideas I've had seem even more out there and crazy... that I hesitate to even consider putting it into the story.

On a side-note, I don't think my comic would be a good idea to be used as a reference what's going on in GL ^^'...
User avatar
xox1melly1xox
 
Posts: 130
Joined: February 28th, 2012, 2:34 am

Re: Deep and Shallow Review

Postby BonesMcKay » March 31st, 2014, 9:55 pm

xox1melly1xox wrote:Anime-shortcuts, I'll keep in mind to avoid using them. Though, would it be all right to use them for punchlines though?


You can use them but you just need to think about why. Sometimes a more natural response is funnier. It's up to you. The main problem is just the lack of range.

xox1melly1xox wrote:I'm a bit confused as to what would be considered to have something happened though. Are you referring to as something dramatic, or just something to get things moving somewhere? Some of the ideas I've had seem even more out there and crazy... that I hesitate to even consider putting it into the story.


Hmm, things do happen it's more they don't feel like they are happening. I can tell you are trying to build to something, but we aren't given enough information. There is a difference between hiding facts and revealing them slowly. Your characters need to interact, then we'll understand more what they want, there personalities. Write out your plot, your script and then look over the scenes and really think about their purpose.

Comics are a lot of hard work. Good luck, I think you can do great!
Image
Image
Image
Feel free to Check out my tumblr
User avatar
BonesMcKay
 
Posts: 354
Joined: September 19th, 2012, 7:01 pm

Re: Deep and Shallow Review

Postby xox1melly1xox » April 1st, 2014, 9:23 pm

BonesMcKay wrote:Hmm, things do happen it's more they don't feel like they are happening. I can tell you are trying to build to something, but we aren't given enough information. There is a difference between hiding facts and revealing them slowly. Your characters need to interact, then we'll understand more what they want, there personalities. Write out your plot, your script and then look over the scenes and really think about their purpose.

Comics are a lot of hard work. Good luck, I think you can do great!


I'll make myself sit and type things out completely from now on lol. So far, I've been only doing a dialogue script for a few pages ahead. With a few reminders on conflict points and parts that I really want to put in there. Expressing it through the art and believable dialogue and development will probably be my biggest hurdle xD.

Making comics is very puzzling too lol. ^^'

Once again, thank you so much for review and advice!
User avatar
xox1melly1xox
 
Posts: 130
Joined: February 28th, 2012, 2:34 am


Return to Webcomic Reviews

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests