The Fighting Dreamers

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The Fighting Dreamers

Postby Yochanan » November 21st, 2014, 1:26 pm

http://fightingdreamers.smackjeeves.com/comics/1910227/teaser/

I am posting after the 15th page of the 2nd chapter has been posted.

STORY:

I do not very well describe plots, not one of one and half chapters especially. I do not understand if there is plot yet, only premise and expo. Require moar.

ART:

If you took Michael McClane's "Introduction to [redacted]" course, you would know that this comic has a [redacted] rating of -2. Now, I understand that "[redacted]" can mean both animals walking and talking, and some abomination of genetics doing the same thing, but people don't see [redacted] and think "talking cats", they think of [redacted] cats, dogs, foxes, the yoozh.

I understand that cats with cartoon anatomy are generally called whatever it makes sense to call them, but when I found out that Patches was a female, I had to reread a third time in this new light of confused cat sexual dimorphism. I mean, I know Sandy is a girl, her name is Sandy! As for Patches, only the first page of the first chapter was what told me Patches was a girl. Unfortunately, I thought Patches in such page was Stewie (who is clearly the protagonist, and everyone knows that the protagonist is the one sleeping).

The art has that bibby-bobby-boo sketchy style, which is a kind of style I do not know much about enough to critique it, but I will talk about this: the facial expressions are wacky. Especially to be expected when you are veering on the edge of [redacted] territory, the faces, mostly of Stewie, seem to go everywhere. Actually, everyone except for Sandy seems to be wax statues on a hot day.

WRITING

There appears to be something I should know before reading this comic. For example, everyone has "powers" (apparently some cats can noclip and walk on walls), which is shown when the cats glow. However, if one reads only the comic and not the author's comments, you are just wondering why the cats are glowing. In fact, while one cat's ears are healing, it looks like his flesh is melting because of the lava orange glow that comes with it. Also (so far) it appears that they are at some sort of containment something, which contains apparently dangerous (maybe sapient) creatures. This wouldn't be so bad, but does it have to be the same building where you have young children with no training and easy murderability being educated in the code and procudyres of your agency? You would think that would be a different building! I call idiot ball on that! Idiocy of the protagonist is punished, reacted to realistically by others. Do want. Sandy tries to be reasonable. Do want. Patches does not seem to act too reasonably. Patches is the team leader. Why isn't Sandy the leader? Why not let the calm one even in sturm be leader? Also, with Stewie's bragging and challenge with the other team leader, you would think that either of the other cats would say "He is lying". How come nobody in fiction ever interrupts and says "He is lying"? Why!


OVERALL: Faces need to stop looking like everything. No one rated the pages, so I rated every page a 5. 10/10, would [redacted] again.
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Yochanan
 
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Re: The Fighting Dreamers

Postby eishiya » November 21st, 2014, 2:55 pm

Reviews go in the main Webcomic Reviews forum, not the Nominations for Review forum. I've moved it for you. You may want to post in the original nomination thread with a link to this review though, to make sure the author sees it.
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eishiya
 
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Re: The Fighting Dreamers

Postby Yochanan » November 21st, 2014, 3:01 pm

I misunderstood "Webcomics get nominated for review in the Nominations for Review forum. People pick a webcomic to review and commit to writing an article-quality review of the comic by posting in its nomination thread."
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Yochanan
 
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