"Crescent" Review (ThatReviewGuy)

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"Crescent" Review (ThatReviewGuy)

Postby ThatReviewGuy » March 1st, 2015, 5:18 am

So as this is my first official Review on the Smackjeeves site,
I can honestly say that after being apart of the Web-Comic Reviewing Community
for some time I could say now that Smackjeeves has probably been a great experience for
myself as a user. The people, The Comics, as well as the staff itself has been a great contributor for
me to try out Smackjeeves and falling head over heels for it. So thanks SJ community and staff
for keeping this Site still running so I could finally discover it. :D

Well enough of my Geeky banter on my love of SJ, onwards to
the Review. :ugeek: :arrow:

_____________________________________________________________

Title: Crescent
Author: Reveal
Illustrator: Reveal
Total Pages: 9 (Counting Prologues)



In my Reviews I like splitting the categories up in 3 different ways. Those ways go as followed....

Story
Characters
Art
Final Thoughts

I've been using this formula for awhile and it has yet to fail me, So I'll continue to use it for Smackjeeves.


_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Story

Well before I start saying my opinion on the plot of the Story as a whole
I shall say that the creator told me that Crescent has just started, (Being only 9 pages in)
and many significant things to come shall come much later into the storyline as a whole. So
take this with a grain of highly grainy salt.

So here is the synopsis of the Story on The Comic's page:

Asaya Era doesn't want to grow up.

During the summer leading to his 14th Birthday,
Asaya is faced with the fact that he won't be a kid forever.
With a life that consists of over-sleeping, making jokes and playing games,
growing up may-be to much for him to handle. Luckily he has friends like Kira and Eden to ease his stress.

But when Asaya is Invited by Kira to her father's Research facility,
he is soon exposed to a dangerous gas called "V.E-13" in which
causes him to experience many abnormal blackouts and dreams.

Soon however he realizes these dreams and blackouts have greater
meaning then he once thought and Asaya soon finds himself linked to something
far greater than he could've ever imagined.

Read,
Wonder,
and Experience,

A Legend grow up in
The City of Armendawn.


Okay, so after my first read through of the Synopsis I can honestly say that
for a synopsis, it's very good. After reading it I already found myself
wanting to find out what the protagonist is linked to and
delve into the world the creator had in store for me. Even with some
grammatical errors here and there, I still really liked the synopsis,
and being the creator is fairly new to SJ himself, I give a few Claps
to him for knowing how to draw in a potential reader with a
engaging synopsis alone. So take a Cookie out the Ol' Cookie Jar creator. You deserve it for that one. ;)

Now, as I delve into the first page of the comic I notice the inevitable
prologues that many web-comic creators use to explain the back-story
of the narrative and or characters within their story.

Even if as a Web-Comic reader myself, I can down right say
that I love prologues,

IF
DONE
RIGHT


When I began reading through the prologues through my first read through
of Crescent I liked it. It told the story of how in this world, the Universe
itself is split into 3 realms I'm guessing. Reality, Cosmic, and Spirit.
Within the Cosmic and Spirit realms lie the Cosmic Spirits of
The Moon, The Sun, and The Stars.

Being the Prologues are kinda lengthy, I will tell you how
I feel about them.

Their Okay.
Just okay.

and I'll tell you why:

After reading the prologues and getting into the main story
itself, the shift in text and atmosphere through the art is
very different. In the prologues they font is very
different to the main story itself. As I read the prologues
and went to the main story I honestly thought I was reading
A different comic all-together. The main story
has a very Manga-ish/Cartoon feel to it that I really adore.
This is shown with the creators choice of text, but with
the Prologues, his choice of text and backgrounds are so drastically different
that It pulled me away after reading the the first few pages a second time.

http://crescent.smackjeeves.com/comics/2095684/prologue-page-1/
Read them yourself to see what I mean.

Rate on Story: (3.9/5)
Pros: Great synopsis and back-story. :D
Cons: Drastic contrast between Prologue and Main Story. :|
Tip: Try making the tone of the Main Comic and the Prologues similar so the shift In tones aren't so Drastic. ;)
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Characters

So, because the story is pretty much in its infant stage
of development, for characters I read the first few pages of the main story
to get a tiny grasp on the main protagonist as a whole as well as the
Character Descriptions Page the creator made to get a feel
for the other characters as well.

After doing so, I can say that I like Asaya's character so far.
Asaya is pretty much a 13 year old kid slacker that doesn't want
to grow up. He hates responsibility and dreads the day he is going
to have to finally be a Man. I think I like his character so far because
that pretty much explains who I am as a person. Who still to this
day, doesn't want to grow up.. haha (Insert Man-Child joke here)

Even so, after reading the few pages of the comic, I just want to tell
you guys that Asaya (SO FAR) is shaping to be a interesting protagonist.
I'm just hoping the creator doesn't make him a Mary sue and destroy the hope
I have for his character moving forward...

As for the other characters that I had to read the Character Descriptions
for (Due to them not yet being introduced in the Comic) I`ll say
that I like Eden's description while I dislike Kira's.

Why? Well I'll show you, maybe you can tell me the difference.

Eden's Character Description:A curious, brave, and strong willed youth. E`den is
long time friend of Asaya Era. Even though he dislikes Victor Emurvale
and the close Friendship Asaya has with his daughter Kira,
he keeps it at bay due to his friendship with him.


Kira's Character Description: A joyful and compassionate girl who lives in the
The City of Armendawn with Asaya and E`den.
On the day of Asaya's birthday, Kira brings him
to her father's Research facility which causes Asaya
to be contaminated with the Gas "V.E-13" in which changes
Asaya, E'den and Kira's lives forever...


So, found the difference?
Good.

For those who haven't, I'll tell you the difference.

You see a good character has good things and bad things about them.
They have likes and dislikes. Friends and Enemies.
Unless your creating God that does no wrong and loves everything about life,
your character should (for the most part) have these flaws to
remain engaging to a reader.

You see with Eden, after just one reading
I can tell he isn't a Mary sue. He hates Kira's father
for some reason which leads him to not wanting Asaya (his good friend)
to have any friendship with her whatsoever. Even if it seems cruel at first,
it shows that Eden is a CHARACTER. He has flaws, and the description itself
shows that greatly.

With Kira, it pretty much tells us how she
is joyful and compassionate while at the
same time retelling us the synopsis and how
Asaya's incident changes all their lives and Blah, Blah, Blah....

Boring.
Just by reading the description, I'm already turned off to Kira's character
and not interested to her due to this bad first impression because
of the fact that she is sounding very similar to a Mary Sue.

Rate: (3.6/5)
Pros: Nice descriptions on both Asaya and Eden's character.
Cons: Bland description on Kira's character
Tip: Maybe change Kira's description to show a potential reader her flaws. Make her seem human and not a 1 dimensional Mary Sue.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

ART

Okay, so when I first saw the first page of the Comic after reading
the prologues I was surprised to find a very Manga-Ish/Scott Pilgrim styled design.
I was kinda surprised at first due to the contrast of tones between the main story
and the prologues, but after reading pages 7-9, I'll say that I really adore the
art-style the creator draws for this comic in particular.

Being a fan of Manga and Cartoons, Crescent's art has really
drew me in to the comic. However, the creator does have
a kinda sketchy/pencil art style that resembles "Scott Pilgrim"
and in the first page it does kinda look a tad messy, I can see
a small progression through his editing as I progress to the next pages
and know (like most web-comic creators) that his
style will grow and develop as he continues to make more pages. If their
is one thing I will critique it is to clean up the pencil marks in your art
a little more to make it look more professional so It doesn't put off
most readers.

Rate: (3.8/5)
Pros: Adorable and cute design. Nice simple/sketch tone.
Cons: Kinda messy line work. Pencil marks here and there.
Tip: Further edit your finalized art so it attracts more readers to want to see more.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
FINAL THOUGHTS

As a fairly new comic as well as coming from a
Fairly new Web-Comic Creator, it's good to say that I liked the tease that
I got from Crescent. It has a promising back-story and promising characters (Even
though Kira's character had me tearing my hair out). I really adored the art
as it really translates well to the tone and feel of the comic as I got a very
(Scott Pilgrim/Manga) Inspiration from it all.

All in all, I will say check Crescent out.
As it being said before that It doesn't have many pages yet,
I will still say it's worth a favorite due to just the experience to
not only wanting to watch the main character grow as a individual
but also to watch the creator grow as a Web-Comic writer/artist during
the development of the comic as well. ;)

I am looking forward to reviewing Crescent when more pages
come out so I can fully get a even greater grasp on the story and characters
as a whole ;)

Finalized Rate: (3.8/5)

Link to Comic:http://crescent.smackjeeves.com/
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Re: "Crescent" Review (ThatReviewGuy)

Postby ThatReviewGuy » March 1st, 2015, 5:26 am

*If you want your Web-Comic reviewed PM me and I'll get to you as soon as I can.
*Reviews go up usually twice throughout Fridays-Sundays.
*I usually review new/hot & upcoming/lesser known comics first
:ugeek: ;)
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Re: "Crescent" Review (ThatReviewGuy)

Postby Whisperwind » March 1st, 2015, 12:10 pm

To be honest, I was quite disappointed by the comic after I read the review.
The comic might be 9 pages long, but the actual story hasn't even started yet. 6 of the 9 pages are prologue, and the last page states that the protagonist just woke up, so it was all a dream anyway.
This is not to say that the comic is bad, or that your review of it was bad - I simply don't think the comic is ready for a review in this state. 3 pages of comic which turn out to be a dream are not enough inmho.

I also wanted to add some things which need work (hope you don't mind :oops: ):
- The first comic page shows a "fear level", which is quite high (9001 fear level and he is still alive and hasn't died from a heart attack?)
- on page 8 it looks like the location has switched from the city to an island. This happens too fast, we just have been introduced to the city and now we are on an island.
It also results in the chase scene being not really dramatic, before I could care about it it's over.
- 2 of 3 comic pages show signs of bad scanning. I appreciate your love for traditional work and I encourage you to go with it, but you have to be careful when you scan. I know this happens easily, but it ruins the impact of your pages.
- I like that you included character profiles, but 3 of the 4 images are broken.
- this was already said but I have to say it again: your prologue doesn't match your art. And: I know you've probably heard this before, but a written prologue is not as good as a drawn one. If something interesting happens in the prologue, it is worth to be drawn. People are looking for a comic, not for a novel.
And although I love prologues and love making them, I have seen prologues which show the universe or night sky at least a thousand times already. If your story doesn't center around planets talking, you shouldn't do that - the human eye/brain is more interested in humans than in inanimate objects anyway.
Your most popular pages (judging from the amount of comments and ratings) are those with your drawings in it, that should speak for itself.

But I agree with ThatReviewGuy's impression, it sounds promising and it could become a good comic if you work on its flaws. :)
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Re: "Crescent" Review (ThatReviewGuy)

Postby Reveal » March 1st, 2015, 1:20 pm

First, I want to thank both ThatReviewGuy for your review. It was beneficial to me to see what I need to
work on to improve on Crescent as well as knowing I have the basic talent and skill to actual
move forward in Web-Comics. I also wanna thank Whisperer for actually critiquing it further
and helping me see that I have some things to perfect first before moving on
to promotional ads and so fourth. I'm glad you see some potential in Crescent though lol :D

But a question to Whisperer:

When you said that 2 of the 3 official pages
weren't scan correctly were you referring to
Pages 7 and 8? Because if so I was actually going to fully
re-edit those two particular pages due to the reasons
you stated. I don't use a scanner for my pages no more, I take a clean
photo with my Iphone 6 camera and edit it in Greyscale in GIMP and so fourth.
:lol: and for the quick transition from Armendawn to the Island.
Theirs a story element that connects to the quick transition from
city to the Island, and will come forth later on in the story-line.

As for the broken character profiles,
I will be fixing those As soon as possible.



On the last subject of the Prologues
I now considered to fully draw the Prologues and have the text font
similar to the font inside of the main story so the tone and transition isn't so
drastic.

and a few more questions for both you and (ThatReviewerGuy)
How do you feel about the Banner
How do you feel about the comic being Black and White
____________________________________________________________________

@ThatReviewerGuy

Thanks for the review man, It really is gonna help me
develop Crescent much better now, even if it did just start
i'm glad you picked my comic as your first comic to review on SJ
cause it really gave me a good sense on what I need to work on moving forward.

As for Kira's character
LOL :lol:
please ignore the bland description within the Bio,
it is very simple and is just a tease to what her true personality and character is.


In conclusion, I'm glad you guys checked out Crescent and
i am actually glad that you see that there's a promising future
for not only Crescent but myself as a web-comic creator as well. :)
The next time either of you check out Crescent and maybe review it,
I hope you could see my growth as a writer and artist.
Asaya: "I'm Asaya, some call me Necklace boy. Please don't call me Necklace Boy...."
Image
CRESCENT Home Page: http://crescent.smackjeeves.com/
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Reveal
 
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Location: Beyond the Cosmic Walls

Re: "Crescent" Review (ThatReviewGuy)

Postby Reveal » March 1st, 2015, 6:07 pm

and as for the bad Scanned image of page 7,
I am currently editing it as we speak, :geek:

heres a taste of what I've done,
what you think of it compared to the other image? :arrow:
Attachments
Crescent Page 1.jpeg
Crescent Page 1.jpeg (208.3 KiB) Viewed 6679 times
Asaya: "I'm Asaya, some call me Necklace boy. Please don't call me Necklace Boy...."
Image
CRESCENT Home Page: http://crescent.smackjeeves.com/
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Location: Beyond the Cosmic Walls

Re: "Crescent" Review (ThatReviewGuy)

Postby ThatReviewGuy » March 2nd, 2015, 9:14 am

@Reveal

Your welcome, ;)
and on your comment on Kira,
I really hope so.

And yes, your new edited
page looks much, MUCH better than before..
i'm guessing with your style of art taking a picture
with the Iphone is much better overall in getting a
better quality picture rather then scanning it

Continue to perfect that,
I Favorited your comic
and will Review it again once the first actual volume is done...

-Good luck and keep drawing :) :ugeek:
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