by blankd » January 20th, 2012, 11:58 pm
Informal review:
The anatomy need a lot of work, I understand this is supposed to be a parody/satire/jab but even the non-satirical parts of the art are off. I recommend doing some life drawing so that you'll improve over time- do not go back to redo the old pages, focus on overhauling the art for the future pages. (If you're curious as to what, it's practically everything.)
You also seem to use "chibi" and other overused elements from anime such as the sweatdrop- try to avoid doing this or using it more tastefully. Personally I would axe the sweat drops, vein throbs, etc. because of how overused they are.
Another is that the color feels really... off, some of the choices are kind of painful, such as Ruby's shirt. For that I recommend some basic understanding of color theory. You can keep it that idea of color but tone it down a little since it's practically neon. (Other colors also feel too saturated, try toning them down a little.)
The backgrounds are also extremely simple, you don't have to to have complex ones but as it stands they are currently only showing off how weak your grasp of backgrounds is. Learn some perspective and try to reference some locations to get a better understanding of it. The only other part that sticks out about them is how rigid everything looks, almost everything is perfectly vertical or horizontal.
There are parts of your humor that could be good and some of them slapped on too hard, like simply putting phalluses on everything- it's okay for a quick joke but when all your elements are dick-themed, there's a problem. The weakness chart was one of your better jokes since it's actually tying in the game mechanics with your satire. Basically try to figure out when you're beaning your audience over the head with a joke and when a joke is placed appropriately. (Another example of laying it on too thick is when Prof Wood flashes them and Ruby and Rain ask why he's naked- the the joke is too blunt and indirectly assumes the audience can't figure out the punchline- if you have to explain the punchline you are being heavy handed.)
Some nitpicky things would be that you seem to lack line variation and that your speech bubbles are obviously created with whatever program you're using (for a comic that is more organic looking this sticks out a lot).
Anyway hope that helps, if you have any questions feel free to ask.
SuperBiasedMan wrote:Just because you've proven something blankd doesn't mean I have to believe it.
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