Need beta reader or serious partner

[gaiadarkstar]

I have decent ideas but have problems with depth and originality with some things. I am doing the comic "Double Life" the link for that is in my sig. I already got a review done and it was harsh but I really need a partner. I am dedicated and determined. My goal is to publish my manga and if someone did join me I would have no problem sharing credit and if I got published the money as well (in a reasonable share of course). I really need good critique and help. I have posted one section of the scripted version of my comic for easier reading here- viewtopic.php?f=26&t=8067
If you are willing to add more or even be a partner I have all of what I have written available here- http://www.webook.com/project/Double-Life-manga
I am not a shrinking violet and am ready for more harsh crit. I think I have a good base that just needs a little polishing to really shine. I am willing to work hard and will also help others by returning the favor if someone else wants a crit or advice with art. My art is at- http://gaiadarkstar.deviantart.com/ if you want to see my style. My main need is for someone to read and give me in depth advice on my writing. Any input at this point would be helpful.

[scribe_drizz]

I'll try. May I have a couple days to read your comic and make notes? And if you don't like me, you can always fire me.

[gaiadarkstar]

At this point I would take anyone and almost anything. I am almost desperate to improve the comic. Any input at this point is good and take as long as you need.

[Wandering Soul]

I'm interested in helping.

I notice right away that you have a topic that is rather cliche. Not that this a bad thing it just means you have to work a little harder to bring something new to the table. Took a look at your script and overall its good. Just some of the structuring seems like your cramming in information you want the reader to get as apposed to a conversational flow.

[gaiadarkstar]

Yeah I am not the best at social interaction so my dialogue tends to mimic my own attempts at stilted or rough dialogue. That is why I need help. I need to know if and how I can save this manga. I think the base idea is good but I really want to grab people with it. The three things I won't change are one Alexis is famous and in disguise. Two Lance is a bad boy who finds out her secret and blackmails her, three they eventually fall in love. Everything else can be tweaked.

[Vongolastorm13]

im in if youll have me

[gaiadarkstar]

As I've said I need all the help I can get. If you want in on the discussion you could either post here or go to my webook page, or see some of the suggestions already posted here- viewtopic.php?f=19&t=8067
And of course commenting here or on the comic pages themselves is helpful. If you have good ideas on how to rewrite a section that would be particularly helpful.

[gaiadarkstar]

Hi. I have been working hard and have gotten some good advice but the more input I get on the story and design the better. I want this to be good enough to eventually get published. So if you want to help out please don't hesitate to join in on the discussions. Also is someone is seriously interested in this I would love a long term partner that would help brainstorm and really make this comic shine.

[Gibson Twist]

I'm not interested in partnering, but I'll take a look at what you have if you'd like. PM me your email.

[gaiadarkstar]

Got your email Gibsen and look forward to your help.

[gaiadarkstar]

Hello all. I have been locked out of this account for a long time. I am not sure what happened but somehow my password was changed to something really weird. It took a while but finally an admin helped me fix it and now I'm back. I still really need a lot of help on this manga so if someone would check out either the webook link or the forum topic where I have the comic in text form. I have added a lot toward the beginning of the manga to try and get the main character away from being a Mary Sue. I think it is going ok but I would really love some fresh eyes on it. Also comments on the webcomic itself are always super helpful. The more specific you are the better. Also even random ideas are really great cause I amd kind of blocked right now. I really appreciate all help in advance even small contributions are a big help to me so just know how much I really appreciate any help I get. I want my comic to be fun and easy to read and I want people eager for more.

[gaiadarkstar]

I haven't worked on my manga in a long time because I can't help wondering if it is salvagable. I think I have good ideas but I just am not good at creating depth or getting the story from point a to b to c. I think really that the best thing would be for me to concentrate on writing and find someone else to do the drawing. If there is someone out there who would like to do "Double Life" I would love to have it continue.
I also have three or four more ideas for manga that could be really great if I found an artist.
"The Darkstar Phrophecy" is about an ordinary girl who gets transported to an alternate world where magic is common. She gets mistaken for a missing princess and many mysterious things start to happen to her that she can't explain. She also starts to fall in love with a Guy named Darien who only seems to care about honor and duty and while he seems to care about her he won't admit it or show his feelings.
"Gender Curse" This is a new idea that I just came up with recently so the idea isn't completely fleshed out. Basically it's about a girl who is dating a regular casonova. She finds out he is cheating on her. She happens upon one of those mysterious shops that pop up and finds a book that she uses to curse the guy. He ends up turning into a girl, only being able to turn back under a certain circumstance(not sure what yet). Meanwhile he gets hit on and chased by guys everywhere, even his best friend. The girl starts to feel sympathy and so tries to help him turn back. Will he end up with her or stay a girl and fall for one of the guys. A real gender bender comedy romance. Could be a lot of fun. I also thought this one might have a little smuttiness to it.
"Rping adventures" Not sure about the title of this one but basically I have written out what has been happening in the D&D game I have been playing. The gm is great so the adventure itself is well done plus the characters make this a funny and interesting adventure.
I mainly want an artist but if someone just wants to help with the writing, I would definitely appreciate that as well. I just need a little help fleshing out the stories. As for the drawing, I am not very confident in my own skill and have been using daz and google sketchup to make the scenes, so kind of cheating, in a way. It also takes a long time to do but ends up looking pretty good.