ml-tokiko
Derp.
  • Real Name
    Masha
  • Age
    22
  • Gender
    Female
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lol, I knew Fushimi would be a rule violator.
"Being late at school, violating the rules... You deserve a small punishment! Furthermore... I'm not short, I'm just a late bloomer!"
Furthermore sounds better than and in this sentence :33
Right, let's do this.
"Psst! Hurry up... the short megaphone dude might catch us!"
"Relax, he's too busy checking the other students."
The rest is ok :33
Oh wow~ What a treat, I thought we would have to wait a week for the first page of chapter 2, seeing your 3 latest updates, but wow! Tomorrow!
Can't wait :33
ml-tokiko
March 24th, 2012
Purrsonally, I think that "Disappeared" should be "Disappear" because it'd make more sense, but you can choose whatever you like.
"Fushimi! No matter what you do, you can't get our family back!"
And then I think that "They've disappeared." sounds better, because when saying "They've escaped" sounds like he's really trying to capture them, and it makes him sound a bit like a game boss being frustrated over not being able to kill the escaped protagonists lol.
ml-tokiko
March 24th, 2012
Right, let's start :33
"With this boy, I can get back everything that I have destroyed."
The rest is fine~
Phew. Glad that's not the end XD
Can't wait to see the next page!
ml-tokiko
April 3rd, 2011
Please Update!
Agh! I (and many others) really love your doujin! Can you please update once you have time? ;___;