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Futon_Dancing
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It would be the most horrible thing if that speech bubble was still the book, but I doubt that's the case. :D
Of broken panels to broken glass... brilliant!
Futon_Dancing
December 27th, 2011
Those fabric folds. That hatching. I like it.
Futon_Dancing
December 27th, 2011
Ooh, colours. I like how the shading for the skin has a bit of a cold blue in it.
I know you probably just wanted to draw a gun for him to shoot and that's it, but it bothers me a little that it's a double-barreled gun and it seems to be shooting one clean shot each time.
I am guessing that it's some sort of shotgun? Damage done from one actually would be in the form of pellets as opposed to one single bullet... since the damage would be more spread out, the kid would've already lost his ear and the gun would not be very effective at long range.
A pistol would've made much more sense for the depicted injuries. D:
Haha, I think I know who drew this too.
I don't know how to exactly put it, but I love how "quiet" this gift is. It doesn't shout "MERRY CHRISTMAS!!" to you but you can still see the Christmas feel and can feel the warm mood coming off it by how everything is arranged.
@Pedes: I did notice them, if you read my whole comment carefully. also, please be more specific with "things Calm said."

I find the pacing /fine/, My main point was about the establishing setting, two different things. The world is the foundation upon which the rest of the story is built, so it's important for it to be clear about this as early as possible. 30 pages may be still considered early, but there could have been many opportunities that it could've already strengthen the setting in those span of pages.

If you are fine with it, that's okay. I'm just saying all of this because I care for this comic, and things I've pointed out are considered flaws in the screenwriting world. There are always ways to make this better and polished.
Boobi--
Haha, honestly how is she not shivering wearing that outfit outdoors?
Theee title makes sense now! Great designs for each season, even though you don't get to see their complete faces. They look like people I would not want to mess with. and I love her reaction at the end.


A little critique though, I hope you don't mind...
There was very little evidence leading up to this page.
By that I mean, this feels very sudden to the audience, for her to go search for the gods. Maybe somewhat intentional, but I feel it was a bit /too/ sudden to the point that it feels a little off. You may have added it in the description, about the seasons being living and breathing gods and all, but an effective story would've been able to do this without a direct explanation.

This problem may have been how you've established this comic's world in beginning. There was no strong feeling that it was REALLY a magical place. This may have been how the mood and the main characters were talking about something completely different at the beginning (but I assume the subject brought up will link to the future, which is fine) It kinda threw me off, and so when later when the "magical" elements appeared, it gave me the impression that they were suddenly thrown at me without any clarification.

So here's my suggestion to improve this: No, don't to do the stereotypical "epic story" about gods with wall of text to introduce the world, but instead, HINT at a few things, without words, to slowly foreshadow to this point. I got the feeling that the gods may be something not known by many people or something? either way, you could sneak a few things in for the sake of establishment.
For example, at the start, visual motifs could be used (this could be anything you can represent that links to your concept; an animal, an object, a gesture, anything that makes sense to you.) or even something added to the background at the beginning of the pages. (I don't know what exactly are the "rules" for your story yet but) something like a shrine, or a mural to be hinting at a backstory in the distance. Nothing too direct, but something that adds more to the "feel" of your setting.
I've gone back through your pages again carefully and I just didn't feel it. I see you've tried to do something with that image at the very first page but reading from where it is currently at, it made little sense to me. It would have been better if you made a few more maybe? You just need that "something" and it would've given the whole setting a lot more closure. A strong foundation at the beginning is always important to a story.
It may be a little too late to change things, but keep that in mind next time you introduce a world.


Gaaaahh, Forgive me this turned out to be a wall of text! I'm a Film student. Scriptwriting and Stroyboarding is what I look at. I believe it's the same principles when it comes to a good comic, the only major difference is that things are visually static for a comic. I just can't help myself when I see something that you can improve on and I really hope all of that made sense and sorta helped. This story has great potential and your art is beautiful. It would be a shame if it was brought down by poor planning.
Ah, that little "kiss" a few pages back makes sense now.
Well, that's certainly one way to shut him up.
yessss
Happy Birthday!!
Look at Dr. White. Just look at him :D

On another note, you've only been working on this comic for two years? Just by comparing the next page, you've improved quite a lot.
I... did not see her try to open the window the normal way though.

have I told you how much I love the way you draw her hair? well, now you know.
Um, what is the purpose of this? Are you just uploading other people's banners??
So this second set is complete. I love how every time it goes from silly and then gradually turns dark. There's something there, I can feel it.
Can't wait for the regular comics to come back now.
I would love to see this update again. Great comic so far!
The amount of detail you put them clothes, man
I can't seem to shake the feeling I've seen this page before a long time ago... weird.