• Real Name
    Chris Puzzo
  • Age
    24
  • Gender
    Male
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kumquats
August 13th, 2012
Transcript
-God. I'm getting pretty bored. Don't you ever get tired just doing the same thing?
-Huh? Did you say something?
-Nevermind. You wouldn't understand.
-Whatever. Say, I'm getting bored. Are you bored at all?
-...That's what...Nevermind. Yes. I'm bored.
-Let's do something.
(next panel)
-What the hell?!
-What?
-I wanted to do something different, but not that!
-Well then be more specific.
-Okay, let's do something that's not that or this!
-Fine. So fickle.
(next panel)
-I give up!
-You're impossible! What's wrong now?
-I said I was bored, not that I wanted to do THIS! Where'd the dog come from anyway? And, more importantly, what the hell are you doing to it?
-Don't worry he likes it! Listen to how happily he whimpers!
(next panel)
-Dammit. We were late again.
-And it looks like they did the strip without us! I wonder what they wanted the dog for.
kumquats
August 10th, 2012
Transcript
-I got a cool new car yesterday. Best investment I've ever made.
-Can I see it?
-*snicker* I don't know. Can you?
(next panel)
-'May I','Can I', all that suddenly seems unimportant. Especially now that I've got a new car.
Transcript
-Wanna try a muffin I made?
-Nah. I'm watchin' my weight.
-Why watch it? It's not going anywhere.
(next panel)
-Hmmm. You've got a point. Why do I watch my weight? Okay...I guess I'll have one
(next panel)
-Dammit! Not again. I looked away for one panel..I mean second. I'm going to bed.
Transcript
-Too bad the writer stayed up all night for the Mars landing and was too tired to remember to write that dialog. I'm curios how that progressed.
kumquats
August 3rd, 2012
Transcript
-Welcome to the Mobius Strip Club. For your viewing pleasure, here they are! The Sexy Primes!
-They said there was nothing the teenage mind couldn't sexualize. Math was no exception.
Transcript
-I'm sorry, sir. It seems as though your son died of acute alcohol poisoning.
-H-H-How could this have happened?
(next panel)
-Well we found this VHS copy of "The Shining" next to him. It seems as though he was playing the "Jack Nicholson drinking game". It seems that the only rule is that you must drink every time Jack Nicholson creepily arches his eyebrows.
kumquats
July 30th, 2012
Ummmm....
@Guest: I happen to be more than aware of that. That also happens to be part of the joke. Hence the next line: "You clearly have no idea what you're singing about."
Transcript
-How do you play piano when we have these fingerless oval things as hands?
-You mean you don't have fingers?

DIRECTED BY
M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN
kumquats
July 27th, 2012
Transcript
-♫ We make noise and don't care. We rob stores-don't see your stares. I have no job or love or soul. Leave me alone. I shoot weed in my vein. I take coke pills and think of the man I killed. ♫
-What are you doing? You clearly have no idea what you're singing about.
-I'm trying to be angsty.
-Here. I'll help you be angsty.
Transcript
-And this is where my beautiful relationship came to such a miserable end.
-What happened?
-I'm not sure. She seemed unsatisfied. You know the saying "If you love somebody set them free and if they love you they'll come back?"
-I guess she didn't love me.
Transcript
-Life sucks. I don't even see the point anymore.
-Sounds rough. Can I offer you a shot?
-Might as well. Anything to take my mind off the trainwreck that is my life.
-There ya go! Glad to be of assistance.
Transcript
-I know I'm gonna regret this...but what are you doing?
-You know Ockham's Razor?
-Yeah...
-Well I have something better!
-Uh-oh...
(next panel)
-Ockham's Chainsaw!
-Hmm. The simplest explanation is that you just wrote the word "Ockham" on a regular chainsaw.
-...shut up.
Transcript
-You can't use a word like that without proper qualification. In fact, such usage is nothing but vacuous nonsense!
-We have to come at this with a deconstructionist viewpoint. This ridiculous hierarchy must be done away with.
-It's impossible to have this conversation without going back to Spinoza. We must see the world sub specie aeterni!
-I take it you're not ready to order, then?
-A few more minutes might be nice.
kumquats
July 15th, 2012
Transcript
-Does it bother you that our lives are in the hands of a sleep deprived college student?
-Eh, not really. Que sera sera.
-I mean he's probably addicted to adderall, stays up all night drinking, and I bet...wait a minute.(next panel) Where'd your arms go?
-Yeah...that happens occasionally.