June 15th, 2012
hello,I went all the way through your comic and so I thought I would give a small review.
Like many say,the story line does need tweaking. I felt the guys all appeared too fast,even for a shojo manga. I also think Asami needs a better introduction at the beginning. In a shojo you want the readers to fall in love and cheer for the heroine and well,you didn't really give us much to fall for. But that can be easily fixed.
As for the art,you have potential. You need to work on anatomy a bit,there are a lot of jelly bones. Plus,a good percent of the guy's poses are copies from their respective mangas. It is a good practice tool,but try to make some of your own since it is your own comic. Also,you depend a bit too much on screen tones,but those are easy to get carried away with. Like,I don't think Asami's pink hair would be such a dark grey. Take Sakura from Naruto for example,her's is around the same color and is kept white in the comic.
Overall,I give you about a 7 for the moment. Though there is a whole lot of potential. I can't wait to see you grow and your manga along with it. Good luck. :)
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