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jakobthecool867
INACTIVE
  • Age
    35
  • Gender
    Male
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It was a sunny Tuesday, about 1:00 PM, Gamestop had just opened, I had seen a copy of New Super Luigi U, used, I asked the clerk how much it was, and he started screaming and locked himself in the Employees Only room, so I said to myself "I guess I'll...just take it then." So I left some money on the counter and rode home on my bike, I booted the game up as quick as I could. Everything was normal...for the first few seconds. when it showed the screen telling me what level I would be doing, the level wasn't entitled "Waddlewing Warning!", instead, it was titled "LEAVE.", I looked at the amount of lives I had, I had 666 lives. Which struck me as odd, why would someone have this many lives? Then, I looked at Luigi's head, and I was absolutely disgusted. Luigi's head was completely fucked up, his jaw was dislocated, his eyes and nose were missing, his hat had holes in it, it was revolting! It went away, and nothing was right about the level. The sky was dark red, enemy corpses were on the ground and in the trees, It was so realistic. And I felt sick to my stomach. then, I saw Mario, Out in the open, currently strangling a Koopa Troopa. I couldn't control Luigi at this point, so I just sat and watched this horrible scene unfold, Luigi then said "Mario...YOU did all this? I mean, I know you hate enemies, but Jesus..." Mario then smashed the Koopa Troopa's skull in and threw him across the level. He then turned around, blood covering his face, a JTK like grin around his face, He then said "Yes. Richard, you will die for what you've done" Which freaked me the hell out, because Richard is my actual name. He then threw a Koopa Troopa shell at the screen, and the TV shut off, Now was my chance! I quickly took the game out, Unplugged my Wii U in case taking the game out didn't make the fearfest end, I threw it down, put on a golf shoe, and stomped it to death. NEVER AGAIN will I buy a used game.
@Spar Elric: I've been looking for it for days, someone drop s link for god sake.
The Pasta
So I attended a live event of Monday Night Raw the night it was announced, after the show was over, Michael Cole invited me to come try out the beta, In a heartbeat I said "Hell yeah!" And went to go try it out, When I was trying out the beta backstage, everything was absolutely normal, then, out of pro kindness, Michael said I could keep the beta, I thanked him and ran home faster than the speed of light. You think it was normal after I got home, right? WRONG. When I got to the title screen, Ryback's theme was playing, but it was all slow and distorted, and the lyrics were changed, Instead of "Meat on the table, yeah, that's what you are!" It instead said to me: "Turn the hell back now, yeah, you better run!" I was all like "What the--?" But I ventured on anyway, Bad Idea. When I got to the mode screen, John Cena's severed arm was on the top of the box with all the modes on it. (Yeah, yeah, cena haters love that part.) But something else was wrong, The Shield walked in from the right side of the screen, looked at me for about 10 seconds, then Dean Ambrose said: "Guess Cena should have turned heel when he had the chance" I puked a little in my mouth, but swallowed it, I selected the "30 Years of Wrestlemania" option. And I was just dumbfounded. Realistic organs were scattered everywhere, severed heads were, too, One of the heads was of Andre The Giant, another was Hulk Hogan, and another was Ricky Steamboat. I then said to myself: "Did...did Michael KNOW about this?!!" I quickly pressed B, which took me back to the main menu, but this time, there was no music at ALL, and the shield were all impaled on the "P" in the "Play" mode. Then Ryback came out from the left of the screen, He had a fucking demonic grin, like a Jeff The Killer smile, His eyes were all black, and he was chuckling quietly to himself as he took Dean, Seth, and Roman off of the "P", He then proceeded to take a katana out of his singlet, and cut them all in halves with one slice! He then looked at me for almost an hour and said: "I told you to run, Why didn't you?" Then the screen went black, I had enough, I took the game out, put it in the garbage can, then set fire to it. Never again will I play any beta of anything.
@stormcasterc: People say that to me all the time, I just don't care anymore.
Awwwwww, I need a vacay.
@Spar Elric: RIP Your scanner.
I've been gone for a bit. D:
@Moonskilled: Oh hey I remember you.
YAYZ AN AMINATION! :D