I am currently making a fanfiction version of the immensely popular Chat-up lines to clean up spelling errors and make the narrative more coherent. This is not my best work but I feel it will be an improvement over the original's distracted writing and can enhance the overall quality of the work.
  • Gender
    Male
Send Message
Page 24
At this point, Stan decided that it would be good to share ages.

1337: What's your age?
Blue_Crocker: I'm 17
1337: Cool, I'm 16.

"What the hell is he doing in a gay chat room?" he said, curious on what someone like him was doing there?

He temporarily forgot about that though as he had a nosebleed. It freaked him out for a few seconds and he yelled "OH GOD!" to himself. Luckily, the nosebleed ended quickly
Page 23
Blue_Crocker: Do you like football?
1337: Sure.
Blue_Crocker: What's your favorite team?
1337: Denver Bronco's
Blue_Crocker: Really!?
1337: Yep.
Blue_Crocker: That's my favorite too!
1337: WHAT?! REALLY?! OMG!!

Stan waited a little bit before typing in his next response.

1337: Are you offline? XD
Blue_Crocker: No. I think that's really cool.

Stan thought to himself that Blue_Crocker was really cool.
Page 22
1337: Yay, love this shit.
Blue_Crocker: Same here. :)

Blue_Crocker's compliment caused Stan to erupt in a wide grin. He was so happy of this mysterious strangers treatment that he decided to ask something personal.

1337: You're cool, dude. What's your name?
Blue_Crocker: Is that so important?

This was confusing to Stan so he decided to try and drop the subject.

Blue_Crocker: I hate my name, so whatever.
1337: Okay. I get it.
Page 21
1337: I'M BACK!
Blue_Crocker: WELCOME BACK!
1337: THANKS
Blue_Crocker: ;D
1337: My sister sucks.
Blue_Crocker: Why?
1337: She ate my pudding, so I had to get bread.
Blue_Crocker: Hazelnut spread?
Page 20
1337: Wait..
Blue_Crocker: Hm?
1337: I'm gonna eat something now.
Blue_Crocker: And what?
1337: Good question.
Blue_Crocker: XD
1337: Be right back.

Stan gracefully tiptoed down the kitchen and got his favorite bread, hazelnut. Surprisingly, that only took about 5 minutes of his time.
Page 19
Blue_Crocker: Then...
1337: Then?
Blue_Crocker: We can be bored together.
1337: XD No counter-strike please.
Blue_Crocker: Never. XD
1337: Okay!
Blue_Crocker: Cool.

Stan was starting to like this Blue_Crocker fellow. Blue_Crocker was nice, funny, and had many of the same interests Stan did.

Blue_Crocker: Yeah, I like that to.
1337: OMG! You like Spiderman too?!
Blue_Crocker: He's much better as Superman.
1337: MY WORDS! BRO 5!!
Page 18
Blue_Crocker: Wanna tell me why?
1337: It's so boring and my best friend has no time for me.
Blue_Crocker: I know how you feel.

This comment intrigued Stan. He wanted to hear more.

1337: Really??
Blue_Crocker: Of course, it's boring here too.
1337: You don't know what to do either?
Blue_Crocker: Exactly.
Page 17
The chat did not start out well at first, to say lightly.

David88: Hi, 1337
1337: Hey.
David88: CS?
1337: What?
David88: Cybersex, sweetie.

This offended Stan who had come on to troll gay people, not to be propositioned for cyber sex. He yelled obscenities at his computer.

Blue_Crocker: Let him alone, faggot.
David88: Fuck you!
1337: I don't want to have cyber sex, you pervert!
David88: Fuck you too!

David88 left the chatroom, leaving Stan thankful that it had not gone any further.

1337: Thanks.
Blue_Crocker: No problem. He is an asshole. ;D
1337: Sure. xD
Blue_Crocker: How are you?
1337: Not so good. My weekend sucks.
AN 2
AN: Just to note, chat logs will be put spelled correctly with narration in between as needed.
Page 16
The chat room that he decided to go on was a "fag chat room". Stan decided to troll the room to get revenge on gay people for making his best friend gay. For the nickname, Stan entered 1337; which meant "leet", a system of emoticons that he had frequently seen on the internet. It sounded gay to him and could be used as a good way to fool the chat room users.
Page 15
No one else was on. In desperation for any social interaction, Stan searched for a chat website on Google.
Page 14
After a lot of thinking, Stan decided to check if Kyle was on AIM. Unfortunately, he wasn't which annoyed Stan and made him feel even more bored than he already was.
Page 13
Stan noticed that he could spend his night playing his Nintendo GameCube or use his MacBook Air. Both choices didn't look very interesting to him.
Page 12
After recovering from the incident with his parents, Stan found that he had nothing to do.
Page 11
Stan found his parents, but not in the way he expected. His dad Randy was holding his mom Sharon on a table, obviously in the middle of sex. "GET OUT OF HERE, STAN! WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF QUALITY TIME!!" Randy yelled at his son. This disgusted Stan so much that he went to the bathroom and immediately vomited in the toilet.
Page 10
No one seemed to be in the house when Stan opened the door. This confused him, and he decided to sleuth around a bit; quietly calling for his parents.
Page 9
He moped to himself about the bad time he was having so far after-school on Friday, learning that Wendy was dating a man he had not seen in 8 years just for sex, and that Kyle was gay and unavailable during this weekend because of his new boyfriend.
Page 8
After Wendy had walked away, Stan finally made a comeback to what she had said. "Stupid bitch, I don't need you anymore!" he yelled, hoping she would hear. The situation depressed Stan though, and he decided to relax at home.
Page 7
It was Wendy Testaburger, Stan's slutty girlfriend. "Stan, you're a pussy who won't give it to me in the bed and father my children even though I'm already 16! My new boyfriend Christophe however; does it whenever and wherever I want and only makes his genitals flat when I say so! He has no knowledge of you and never will. So bye-bye to you!" These comments shocked Stan, who had said many times before to Wendy that he wanted to wait until they were both 18 to have sex. Otherwise though, he had given her what she had wanted; even when it depleted his allowance.
Page 6
Stan walked away, thinking up names of people he could spend the weekend with. No one that he knew seemed to be a good choice, especially Cartman; who his parents still didn't trust from incidents that happened when they were 9. He was still thinking about the subject when a loud, bitchy, female voice pierced his ears.