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Just tell Alan everything -- "Whew, it's uh, been a rough couple of days. We, let's see, we staged an intervention, then I confronted a sadist, and for a minute there it really looked like I was going to be his next victim, but then I got a look at what he'd been doing to my ex-boyfriend (oh yeah, I'm gay) so I just lost it and beat him into oblivion. I'm being literal, by the way. I literally beat him into literal oblivion, except for his voice in my head which has some really bad timing, let me tell you.

But I got back together with my boyfriend, so that was good.
This took forever to read. My brain refused to faster than the tune.

This is also really awesome, btw.
Poor Avery. A week or two of that and he'll be wishing he could have something nice and simple like a heartbeat under the floorboards.
You just wanted to draw those reaction faces, didn't you?
Maura's attitude toward sex seems to be "This could end badly. Let me take off my clothes."
Given that Owen cares about Cal too, I can't imagine that there's anything in this situation that he will want to chat about.
Yeah, it's not nice to get Owen angry when there's no one left for him to punch.
Yeah, Miguel's face in that fourth panel is too good and precious. But I lurve it.
Has Richie always been this practical, or is this Anwen's influence?
Perfect Alan with his sexy arms!
Wig, heels, maybe a little rouge...
Hi Avery. I missed you. <3

And so does Alan apparently.
The hair's pretty good.
Aww. TJ's such a cheerleader.
Because your mam knows what's what.
It's not Kasha's fault that wine-tasting isn't a class offered in American high schools.

I feel ya, Teo.
Are those Alex's abs? Justin needs to get out his scissors again.
Oh that does it! First noisy plumbing, now smug, lycra-wearing, bicycle bastards.

Should've just bought that private island.
Dot is me. I would totally find a way to not put myself in a position where I'm expected to run in the first place.
Well, it's not like Jack's going to go all hearteyes over the view while ignoring the knock in the radiator.