illumelnati
previously aikiiyukii!

my name is melanie, but do call me mel! i'm from malaysia and i draw way too much for my own good.

find me on:
twitter.com/illumelnati
illumelnati.deviantart.com
facebook.com/illumelnati
illumelnati.tumblr.com (xylier.tumblr.com is my reblog blog)
  • Real Name
    mel (that's why illuMELnati... haha get it)
  • Gender
    Female
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illumelnati
December 25th, 2016
Hello everyone!

I know it’s been almost a year since I updated Yayoi, and I want to apologize for keeping everyone waiting. Okay so this is going to be a really long message for you guys, and I’m sorry if it gets a little draggy, but… yeah… anyways I know I have some old readers and new readers here, and to my old readers, I’d like to thank you guys so much for staying by my side and being so enthusiastic with Yayoi for so very long… and I don’t know if you guys expected this or is upset with me in any way at all, but I’d like to say sorry, and to my new readers, I’m so sorry that I am delivering this message, and it hurts for me to finally say it but,

I don’t think I can continue this series anymore…

I know, I know I told stories about how I brought this back after years and I was so dedicated to finishing it because it’s always just been haunting my mind and coming back for me and I thought that I would just want to tell this story once and for all and finally but I just can’t see the future, I don’t know what I’ll become or what I’ll just decide to do and it’s been very tough on me, and I’m just so sorry to have to do this.

I feel like such a hypocrite and a liar for saying I’ll finally bring Yayoi back and finish it once and for all and saying about how much I love my boys or how much I just want to tell this story and believe me, I really do… but I guess, not enough for me to really finish it. I initially created this story in 2010 and that was when I was 13 years old and I was so into BL, and yaoi and everything anime and in 2015 when I thought I wanted to bring this back, I didn’t know I’d just change so much in one year… I’ve tried my best to tweak this story and make my characters more likeable and realistic but it’s just not working out for me. I don’t think this story suits me anymore, what I would like to tell 6 years ago is different than what I would like to tell now. Back then, I only drew pretty, fair-skinned, slim anime people with gorgeous hair and big, colourful eyes but now I’ve grown up and I understand people have pimples, freckles, and flaws and my Yayoi boys don’t have that and it just irks me a lot. I’m not even Japanese but my story is… about boys in Japan? I hardly know anything about Japan and here I am trying to write a story about… gay boys in Japan? Okay, I’m being truthfully honest here about how I view Yayoi and I just don’t think that I can continue it anymore. I really did want to introduce some characters but I didn’t even get that far into 2015 Yayoi and I find it really embarrassing and pointless that I even tried to bring it back. Sometimes I wonder if bringing it back was useless or not bringing it back at all was better…? I don’t know what to do and I was really psyched about bringing this back but then it just died out and I realized that I don’t want to make stories solely focusing on high school boys anymore. I’m interested in other things now.

I’m so sorry to have to say this and to do this and to just so suddenly end it right here. I guess I will be writing a little “How it ends” journal thing for you guys so it doesn’t really just like, end here forever. I have the story planned out but I just can’t dedicate all my time drawing it. I’ve been through some shit, and it’s been a lot of shit and talking about it here would just take forever and I’m really busy and I can’t dedicate my passion to something that I feel doesn’t even reflect my abilities in storytelling. I just know I can do so much more.

I want to say thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. From the bottomest bottom of my heart the,, the PIT… THE ABYSS.. Thank you. Thank you for being here for me. Thank you for supporting me. To those that stayed, thank you so much, thank you, for those who are new, thank you too, thank you, everyone. I mean it. It means so much to me and I am just broken to have to do this. I love all of you. I love all you so much. I want you guys to know that I am not dead as a comic artist. I absolutely love comics and I know that one day I will be able to come back with my very own, a new one… though it would probably be vastly different from Yayoi, but Yayoi will stay in my heart forever. To those that love Yayoi, thank you for loving it, remembering it, and supporting it.

I’m here and I’m alive, I will talk and reply to you guys, you guys can ask me questions ask me anything. I’m so sorry this has to happen like this, but I don’t know how else to end it. I’ve been delaying this goodbye for so long and I think you guys should really just know. I drew Misaki and Hisato at the ending of the story, this is how they look, happy. It took them a long time to finally be happy together, but I will tell you all how it ends. Once again, I’m sorry, a-and I'm sorry I'm posting this on Christmas for some of you...? such a horrible gift... I'm terrible aaaahhh aa I'm sorry;;;

Ask me anything, tell me anything, talk to me. I will reply. I love you guys so much, thank you, thank you so much, thank you for being here and supporting me.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.
illumelnati
July 5th, 2016
@JunnGerl: HELLO!!!!! Thank you so much you're really really sweet AAAA////// hmm, I attend conferences but I don't really have a stall. One day I will!! For sure!! And if I do I'll notify you guys :-D I think the next one I'm going to would probably be Anime Festival Asia in Singapore? Maybe though! Not too sure!!!
illumelnati
January 3rd, 2016
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK I'M NOT DEAD I'M JUST... SUPER BUSY... aksdaksalkdlafa :^)

i missssssssssssed all the holidays like halloween and christmas i'MMM SORRY KLASDAJDAL pleaaesses forigive thsi sad excuse of an author asdhajdaka///;;;;

i'm gonna try a new??? method so like if this method works and i'm not completely dead everyday i guess i'll update more consistently???? because my updating style makes me so dead lmao alsdkalsa

SO YEA ANYWAY HOWS NEW YEARS GOIN FOR YA'LL ARE YA'LL OK TELL ME HOW YA'LL DOIN OK I'M NOT DEAD IM RIGHT HERE THUMBS UP EMOJI X999

i haven't drawn my sons in forever i miss u boys
SO YEA ANYWAY 8) TELL ME HOW YA'LL DOIN AY AY AY
illumelnati
December 19th, 2015
this cover is so good
illumelnati
October 31st, 2015
YAY AND UPDATE!!! AAAAaaa misaki just stop the car pls, also also a new profile picture!!! this time i cut my hair really short because i got sick of my bleached hair hahahashdkasdhg they were so damaged bc i didnt care about them for a long time so they got rly bad 8-)) but who cares i have short hair now hahaha also i don't actually save the reference pictures of misaki's car so i'm sorry if they??? keep on changing kfhghHRALSDAKRA SO MUCH EFFORT RIGHT THERE I SWEAR

anyhoo, ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!
illumelnati
October 26th, 2015
HELLO EVERYONE!!

I'M HAVING MY SEM BREAK NOW SO I'M GONNA BE UPDATING AGAIN YAH YAH YAH YAH YAH I'LL ONLy be free for like 3 weeks tho so??? I hope I can update atleast 5 times a week or something???? AAAAAA I really miss drawing my sons... T v T How have you guys been!?!? Has everyone been ok!!!!!

As usual, I hope you enjoy the page aaaa!!!
illumelnati
October 26th, 2015
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SO PRETTY OMG THE RAIN LOOKS SUPER COOL imma fight ur ass back in school u w8 for me
WTF OMFG SO NICE KLASJDKAJSDKASDJKAFJLFJGJGJGJ UR LIGHTING SKILLS LKKDKDKDKS
illumelnati
September 24th, 2015
HEY GUYS IT'S BEEN REALLY LONG I'm so sorry I've been so dead but right now things aren't as horrible as they were in the middle of the sem because seM IS ENDING!!!!!!! I'll try to update more often my ass isn't so fucked right now i'm so sorry guys ; ____ ; I haven't been active on twitter as much too AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

nevertheless, I hope you enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!
illumelnati
August 18th, 2015
HELLO EVERYONE!! How have you all been I'm so sorry once again I've apologized too many times hahaha but I'm dying so hard rn and I still really really need to get to the end of chapter 3 omg

Sorry this page is so boring!!!!! The next one will be better but whoa I have no idea when I can draw another page what the fuck... remember when I used to update everyday...? Hahahaha... ha...

Anyways, to the new fans, thanks so much for checking out Yayoi! I'm really really sorry but right now is a hard time for me so updates won't be so frequent! I hope you can understand;;; But I hope you enjoy Yayoi nevertheless!

Also, I have blue hair now... hAHAHAHA I REALLY NEED TO STOP DYEING MY HAIR GDI /o\

So enjoy!!!!! I love you guys so much!! Kisses ya'lls cheeks hehe
illumelnati
August 16th, 2015
@CrazyaNinja: omg hagsgshhdhd well... you're close but not quite there yet!!!! :) im flattered u have the urge to analyse hahahahdgshbxxm
illumelnati
August 4th, 2015
WWWWWHOOOSSS THATTT BAAAEEEEEE
OHH HNOOOKSAOKALSALLA but also... that thing in te 4th panel is cute too....... why is everything in this comic cute.............. i'll sue u...........
your pages just get prettier and prettier i swear.........
@hamelenolilo7: HMMMMM NOT REALLY...... hamlet drew the same position but my pose is slightly different... and hisato's in a wedding dress hehe
I'M SORRY THIS ISN'T A PAGE but this is also an im sorry gift i mentioned i'd draw for u guys on page 144 lmao ////apologizes on an apology gift

the request was actually just hisato in a wedding dress buT I FIGURED LMAO WHY NOT JUST PUT SEIRYUU N MISAKI BESIDE HIM YEAH

aaaand mika from owari no seraph!!!!!!!!!!

I HOPE U GUYS FORGIVE ME A LIL :)

ENJOY!!!!!!!!!
illumelnati
July 29th, 2015
i wish i had a bath :'-(
IS IT A NEW BAE
illumelnati
July 28th, 2015
THIS PAGE IS SO PRETTY OMG IM SCMREAMSMDAIS
illumelnati
July 27th, 2015
AWWHHHH RORRYRYRYYFIDFS