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I'm probably Comet.
I try to be a good friend by not getting in the way when my friends set dolphins on fire.
My only friend is as bad as Jackass Jerry, so that's actually pretty reasonable.
@SushiGummy: Just slap the last panel on a bottle and call it the offical bum comics shampoo & conditioner, done. :)
Damn you 3DS, for not being able to show hover text!
It's the perfect cover.
@SushiGummy: He wouldn't need it for a mime.
Mimes die if you pretend to shoot them, why waste an actual bullet?
I only use my gun for worthwhile purposes, like shooting trick-or-treaters.
And Christmas carolers.
And door-to-door salesmen, of course.
Oh, and unicorns.
Aaaand... I think that's it.
Why is this a problem?
They already have dogs on set, how else are they meant to get food?
Oh, Crap!
I know who that detective is!
It's- It's-

It's Jackass Jer-*GACK!*

No wait, how could I be so stupid? That detective obviously is not Jackass Jer-asdfghjkl

Stupid Jackass Jerry, killing and then trying to impersonate me. You could at least wait till I'm finished! Jerk.
Y'know, I can't help but think that first part is aimed at me...
Now where is that car... Oh! Hey Marjo I-
"Found it!"
-got burned by the invisible tail end...
@King_Rover: I sang a tune.
In the fourth panel.
Replace "seconds" with "weeks" and you'll have my brain with every game ever
@Quirby64_:D is Navi 169% confirmed
Ah... The Simpsons Game. The best thing EA ever made.
After that long rant about SCBB, a shorter comment is good.
Oh, and by the way, I'm not saying, by any means, that Crash 4 is a bad game, I'm just saying it wasn't as good as Brawl, is all.
But, I'm sure we can all agree Super Crash Bros. Ultimate is going to be the best game of 2018, right?
Also, I'm typing this on my 3DS. You better believe that was annoying.
¹Since I'm typing this on my DS, I can't do italics, so I used caps instead.
²Melee is my least favourite Crash Bros. game, in case you were wondering.
³Yeah, I went there.

Seriously, why are you still reading this?
(I had to split this into two. I know!)
•The Subspace Emissary!
Alright, I know what you're thinking. "What? The Subspace Emissary was the worst part! You're insane if you actually like it!"
Listen: I'm not the kind of person with 18 different friends who can come over to my house on demand, so a mode specifically designed for solo play (there was a two player mode, but whatever) was a pretty big deal, alright? Plus, if you imagine it as a standalone game put into another, similar game, it doesn't really seem that bad, does it? After all, the main problem people have with it is that it's part of a multiplayer game.
Holy crap, that was the longest comment(s) I've ever written! I didn't even know SmackJeeves had a size limit until now! Thanks for putting up with the size of this rant(unless you just skipped to here because it was tl:dr, in which case :( )!
Warning: long comment
Super Crash Bros. 4, eh? To be honest, I prefer Super Crash Bros. Brawl.
Alright, I know some people will think I'm crazy for saying that, but hear me out:
• Brawl kinda plays better for me than 4. I know there's tripping and all that, but that's probably a system designed to stop people cowardly running away from the battle.
• The detailed character models are pretty cool, and even though 4 had detailed character models as well, it also had undetailed ones as well, which kinda felt out of place.
• Trophy Rush is definitely not a suitable replacement for Coin Launcher. The latter is a cool way to get trophies and stickers (did anyone remember the stickers? me either) while punching boxes to get a CHANCE¹ at collecting a handful of trophies just wasn't cool. Also why are you still reading this? They're both infinitely better than Melee's boring, bland Lottery², even if some people beg to differ (for some stupid reason idk), but the point still stands.
• One of people's biggest problems with Brawl is because it stripped out all the competitive techniques (wavedashing, L-cancels etc.) but I beg to differ. Do you think that's important to everyone? Do you really think that just because you're a competitive player (if you are) that everybody is? Can you not (again if you're a competitive player) understand that some people play Crash Bros. for fun and not for glory? I don't care if it's bad that I'm a ¨casual¨ I just don't feel like playing strictly 1-on-1, no items, Final Destination³ Ok?
And last but certainly not least:
@paddyb02: Why are you guys fighting? We should have a tea party!