User Data
I Agree
Our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy have changed. To continue use of this website, you must agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.
KurtisTheSnivy
@Ikualokatl: I know, I was rushed and I'm still trying to get used to drawing Pikachu like this. I'm working on it.
@Ikualokatl: Thank you! I hope it'll go better this time.
The Future
“Don’t Cling to a Mistake Just Because You Spent a lot of Time Making it.” — Aubrey De Graf

I believe that I've spent years making a mistake. Making many mistakes. And I would not cling to them anymore. I'm making big changes, including ending Bonds of Hope, and here's why.

When I started writing in 2013, I was writing because I had a passion. I had a real drive for artistry. I wanted to write and create a universe. But as time went by, I lost that drive. I lost that passion. Even before Guardians ended, I was just going through the motions. One third of a page every day for five years. I continued because I knew that you, the viewers, wanted more. At the time that was enough for me to continue. And I love you guys, I really do, but eventually I have to think of myself too. I've recently been forced to take a step back and think about what I've done. Everything. I've been forced to stop and think, "Is this something that I can be proud of?" And the overwhelming answer is no. I've built so much lore built humongous leaps in logic. I've created such a jumbled mess of of a storyline that if you were able to find one contradiction, it would crumble. I've thrown samey, flat characters into the story because I liked their designs. Kurtis and Tag are basically the same character. Hiro and Terry are the same character. Pika and Alt Pika actually are the same character. Charles doesn't have a character trait other than "I'm Pika's father." Grace has no character whatsoever. The whole cast is just a mess of bad characters.

I haven't had any real control over my life in the past five four years. I've gone through the motions because that's what you have to do when you spend all your time thinking about one thing. You know now that Guardians took over my life, and that Bonds did the same. But the inability to control what I do spread to my personal life. I entered the animation program because my father chose it for me. I entered Skills Canada because my teacher signed me up. I'm working where I work because my father is the boss. I'm looking at the university I'm looking at because my mother did all the research on schools. I'm doing what I'm doing because that's what people told me to do, and what people expected of me. No longer. I'm taking control of my life back. Starting here and now.

I've cut myself off from everyone. You probably know that I don't respond to comments very often. I've only recently been sharing my thoughts on DA. When I have conversations, it's because someone else is leading them. Well, my real life is like that too. I've cut myself off from my friends and my family. I said once that I've got a serious persona in real life and that wasn't just a joke. I don't have people that I can talk to about anything. My family have isolated each other to the point that our relationship is more akin to roommates than a family. My friends keep themselves at such a distance that I'm sure it'd just turn into a joke if I actually told them how I felt. I'm not allowed to be sensitive because that's the environment that I'm in. That I've created for myself. And I can't handle it any longer.

For the last three or so years, I've been struggling with... I don't want to call it depression because I've never been diagnosed. I truly believed that my purpose was to write and inspire with Guardians of Hope and eventually Bonds of Hope. And once I had finished them... Well, my purpose would have been completed. I could walk off into the night and never return. For the last three years, I believed that suicide was my exit strategy. Once I finished the inevitable threequel to Guardians of Hope, I would end it. I had done the math. It gave me another ten years or so. Those thoughts came to the foreground of my mind because of an incident that happened recently. I'm not going to go into it, but it's what forced me to take a step back and think. Think about everything that I've done this last quarter of my life and if it was worth continuing. Not just Bonds of Hope, but my life. For both, I was really close to saying no. I was close to saying 'if I stop writing, then what's the point? People only care about me for what I do for them. No one really cares about me.' Then I spoke to my sister. She had gone through something similar in the past. She made me realize that it wasn't too late to change things. In all aspects of my life. I can take control of my life back. I can open up to everyone in my life and stop hiding behind a facade. And if Bonds of Hope was holding me back, it's time to let it go.

I'm not leaving, let's make one thing clear. I've been here for a long time, and I'm not about to go now. But I'm taking control of myself and my page again. I'm going to post things that I like, including some D&D related stuff. I'll start a new Mystery Dungeon comic. Something that I can be proud of. Something that I can look back on and say that it was worth doing. I won't force myself to meet deadlines. I'm going to start working on my my own life. For real this time. In the end, I know that a lot of you will be disappointed. But in the long run, Bonds of Hope was just unhealthy for me to continue. I know it will be hard to say goodbye. I'm still coming to terms with not writing my old characters anymore. But this is something that I have to do for me. It's time to move forwards.

If you would like to keep yourself updated on what I do, you can follow me on Tumblr or Deviantart, links down below.

~K

https://www.deviantart.com/kurtisthesnivy
https://kurtisthesnivy.tumblr.com/
@VoiceOfDeath:
1 of course I do
2 Sure, but you have to credit me, and send me the link
3 I post twice a week already. I can't do more than that