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No, no: I'm saying that what she is doing here (the three-hour breaks) is in fact an example of putting on your own airbag first. She NEEDS to do this. As the hospital psychiatrist told her, she needs to focus on healing *herself*. Does that make more sense?
Yet Annie, for all of her wonderful attributes, is a complete mess. I just wonder how much more quickly she could progress if she really tried dealing with herself before helping others. It's essentially the same as the advice she received in the hospital: shutting down outside distractions to be better able to handle the distractions within her mind.
I always believe in the airline version of this conflict: put on your own airbag before helping others with theirs. There is no real way to be present in someone else's life unless you attend to your own needs first. Some may see this as selfish; I just see it as both practical and fundamental to good human relations.
sunspark
March 18th, 2018
You may not wish to correct "its" but maybe one of the other two homophonic errors? You meant "cue" and write "queue," and in the same panel used "set" where "sit" would be more appropriate. :-)
sunspark
December 14th, 2017
Ah...

So Julie knows about Dallas and is not concerned. Phew!

Did I miss Cindi deciding to get an abortion? If she's decided, why hasn't she done it?
sunspark
December 13th, 2017
I see his POV. And I totally get why he wouldn't want Cindi to be the one to provide the info; she seems very biased. But I think he's wrong. :-)
Wow. Transphobic for believing that the gender spectrum goes from male to female? Well, I guess that makes me transphobic too.

I never thought, though, that the xem/xir thing took people OFF of that spectrum; I thought it was a way to get around the fact that English is outrageously silent about ungendered human singular pronouns. "They/them" can work, but there is no doubt that it is problematic. When a single person is standing right there and someone refers to them in third person as "they" it just seems weird, though in this sentence referring to them as "them" did not. Context matters. But if someone sincerely believes themself to be something entirely outside of the male <--> female spectrum, my question would be: HOW? Nature has no construct for that. Anywhere.

So...spectrum transphobes unite! As long as we all agree that all trans people (like all people period) deserve all rights, we're cool.
sunspark
December 13th, 2017
Why would he tell her to ask Bree? Wouldn't Bree put whatever it was in the best possible light for herself? Wouldn't someone else be a better, more objective POV?
sunspark
December 13th, 2017
Lol!
Again, I love the fact that you have this so fully thought through and that you are willing to engage with me about it.

I have no problem with the statistical probabilities of any individual event here; my issue is with the likelihood of ALL of them happening to the same person within, what, a year or so? Two years? (Hard to keep track of webcomic-time.)

I have 2 questions about what you said about C16. First, why do you refer to it as a "made-up gender"? Second, the law would really send someone to prison? That seems an overcompensation. I'm thinking a fine or a license suspension if it is deliberate...
Thanks for the detailed and thoughtful discussion. I totally understand your comments and problems about the strip. You ask what else you might do. Well, you could always bring in another trans character. My experience (high school teacher for four decades here) is that when someone comes out, more follow. Annie is extremely unlikely to be the only student at her school with gender issues; why not let another MTF come out and experience some of the problems *for* her. That affords several possibilities. Among them:

* Girl 2 could be stronger than Annie, which would then force her to re-evaluate herself in new ways
* Girl 2 could see Annie as a mentor, which would force her to focus on someone else other than herself
* Girl 2 could experience some of what Annie went through, allowing her to see "herself" from the outside
* Girl 2 could at the very least afford Annie with someone else to talk to about the exact things she is and has been feeling
* Since the last thing is definitely true, Girl 2 would also likely cause some interesting rifts in Annie's current friendships, high school being high school
* Maybe Girl 2 knows about Dallas and will tell Annie right away to help her to avoid a terrible mistake? (Though you've probably already got a plan for how that one plays out)

In any case, having a Girl 2 would allow Annie to stop having all of the traumatic things happen to her that have become extremely unlikely. She is a violence (verbal and physical) magnet. Very few people are that horribly unlucky, even fewer who are "90/10" passable.


I have the opposite problem with my voice: when it gets tired, it starts to flatten out and that makes it sounds more masculine. I hate that. But it was never a deep voice to begin with, just medium...which is pretty much what it is now.

About the stubble: my comment suggested that she simply would not have any; she'd be very cautious knowing she was appearing in public and it would be shaved as closely as possible. I think you responded once somewhere that she only needs to shave a little bit every 2-3 days anyway. That shouldn't be anywhere near enough stubble to create the kind of problem from a few moments in the cold that you describe. (I'm from Chicago; I do know cold.)

About the doctor: are there different laws in CA re: nomenclature of trans people? In the US, nothing at all prevents a doctor from referring to a patient by the name and gender the patient prefers. I'm confused.
sunspark
December 12th, 2017
Love Flint with gloves and a scarf and short sleeves. Boys. :-)
SON?
I am upset as heck with her, but not because of the banishment. Sure, I think that is wrong, but I also think she is probably doing her best for Kora.

No, what upsets me is the "son" thing. Even if—and this is a huge "if"—Annie looks more like a boy than a girl, she is clearly presenting as a girl and any decent therapist should know to treat her as such. This is unconscionable behavior. She should lose her license.

Now, about that appearance thing: I love this comic, but it actually seems that you are intentionally holding Annie back at this point. You keep defending it with references to your own past, but that is not how you are drawing Annie. As drawn, Annie is *very clearly* a girl. (Heck, when we see her in only a bra or a bathing suit she even has started growing breasts.) Whatever she might feel on the inside—and we all feel that doubt on the inside—as drawn she is indistinguishable from other girls on the outside. Yet you persist in acting as if she is the easiest trans person to read in the history of the world. That delivery guy a couple of weeks back? He argued it was voice and stubble, but here's the thing: it's been a long time now. Why would Annie, who freaks out about being mistaken for a boy, not be extraordinarily careful to eliminate stubble before public appearances? And how is it that she has not found a way after all of this time to soften her voice? Most trans teens figure that one out and learn how to suggest through inflections what they cannot do through pitch. And Annie is a *singer*; she'd know such things.

Besides, there is empirical evidence *within the comic* that Annie passes well: Her cheerleading friends did not see her as a boy or even trans until she came out to them. The girls at the other school accepted her completely. Despite the fact that there are some fans who *know* the truth about the Maiden, there is still an ongoing battle about it on her Wikipedia page because many simply don't believe it. Tons of evidence points to the fact that how you draw her is how she is perceived, yet you insist, every once in awhile, to have someone recognize her past instantly just by looking at her, and it's always someone who is an absolute asshole about it.

It's your strip, but it honestly feels as if you are trying to have it both ways, and I don't think it is fair to Annie. She is being retarded in her development in what seems to be at this point a completely artificial way. If she's going to have issues from those who already know (classmates) or from Bree, that's one thing. But the random insults and assaults should really be a thing of the past by now.

And this therapist should *definitely* lose her license.

I hope this did not come off as too harsh. I LOVE this strip, and I love Annie, and that is because you have done such a great job in creating and developing her over the last several years. I just think it's time you let her live her life.
freud and slow time
So how long in Wildflowers time has it been since we've seen Flint, anyway? That little slip was entirely welcome, but seemed to come out of nowhere, though I am probably mistaken. I do hope that Annie spends considerable time pondering it and realizes she wants him far more than Bree; I've suspected that girl to be serious trouble from the beginning.
I'm with CuteDress on the cute dress: the one time of year you can get away with red and green is Christmas, and at that time it's actually pretty much expected. What I *was* going to note though is the "garden of crazy" that results when the bold yellow and blues are added: wow! Now we're in some wild tie-dye territory.
Feel better
PLEASE take the time to feel better. You owe that to yourself, and if there is anything that this weird life we all live should have taught us it is that no one is going to take care of us if we don't do that ourselves. Think of it the same way as the airbags in planes: you have to put your own on first. Always.
Some time in this life I want to live in Vancouver...
Damn! I wouldn't want to be driving on any road in BC and have a sudden scream in the seat behind me. I probably WOULD go off the road. I feel sorry for both Annie *and* her father.
I'm actually a bit curious about Emily. Um...shouldn't she be *showing* more??? Where ARE they coming from?
Well...I *would* think that bit would certainly be on her mind as well...