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    Brian Ellis
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“I can't eat and I can't sleep. I'm not doing well in terms of being a functional human, you know?”
― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story
“Beneath the makeup and behind the smile I am just a girl who wishes for the world.”
― Marilyn Monroe
“It's the worst part of seeing old friends: when your rose-colored memories become undone by reality.”
― Brad Meltzer, The Inner Circle
“No woman really wants a man to carry her off; she only wants him to want to do it.”
― Elizabeth Peters
“The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.”
― Dorothy Parker
“You are a worthy competitor, the best rival I ever encountered, it is an honour to be your opponent, you are better than me at many things, but you cannot beat me at politeness.”
― Amit Kalantri, Wealth of Words
“I have hardly anything in common with myself and should stand very quietly in a corner, content that I can breathe.”
― Franz Kafka
“If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked.”
― George Carlin
“I don’t like my job but my job likes me.”
― Alain Bremond-Torrent
“The trouble is not that I am single and likely to stay single, but that I am lonely and likely to stay lonely.”
― Charlotte Brontë
“Think of your head as an unsafe neighborhood; don't go there alone.”
― Augusten Burroughs, Dry
“If I had an hour to solve a problem I'd spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.”
― Albert Einstein
“You married into the family. You have to love me. It's a contractual obligation.”
― Julia Quinn, It's in His Kiss
“By the time she had finished unburdening herself, someone had turned off the moon”
― Gabriel García Márquez, Love in the Time of Cholera
“When no one you know tells the truth, you learn to see under the surface.”
― Cassandra Clare, Lady Midnight
“Angry people are not always wise.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
@Sol: Wasn't aware of that, got it fixed. Thanks for the heads up!
"Better the devil you know than the devil you don't.” - R. Taverner
“Opening up a conversation can be opening up a world of new possibilities.”
― Michelle Lederman

Following episode #325, Problem Child will be taking a brief hiatus so that I can sort out some personal issues. Thank you for your patience, and I apologize for an inconvenience. Problem Child will be back with #326 on June 10th!
“People don't listen when you lecture. No one wants to be talked down to or scolded.”
— Scott Thompson