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While I find typing this pointless as I haven't created a comic yet or done anything significant on this site for most people to warrant a look on this profile, I thought perhaps on the most impropablity that by chance someone actually comes here and reads this I thought I'd at least say something. I'm an author-to-be and I WILL create the original webcomic I have titled "H.O.P.E." which stands for "Heroes Of Planet Earth". VERY clever, I know*sarcasm*! Anyways, it'll be about superheroes, or "Genetrytes" as they're called who are a part of the military organization known as H.O.P.E.. Think Justice League Unlimited and you get the general idea. Oh how original it is*sarcasm*! Well, I'll see how it flys anyways.
  • Real Name
    Crapcarp
  • Age
    29
  • Gender
    Male
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*whistles* Looks like someone's been busy! Too bad I've been lazy. Well, time to rectify that!*cracks knuckles*

Panel 1: Oh dear. It looks like you're still doin' them side mouths. Draw the side of the face properly. And no, there is no excuse for such, I'm afraid. You might chalk it up to style but I'm not gonna let that slide. There are plenty of anime where they draw the face at a side angle properly. I know it's difficult to get right, to say the least, but trying and failing is better than not trying at all and using "it's the anime style" as an excuse. And since we're going on the side mouth, let's take a gander at the eye. It looks quite awkward how it's the same shape when looking at it from both the side and front. I suggest when drawing the eye at the side, draw a triangle as a base for it. Although, given how you draw eyes that might be a little hard to do, but nothing worth doing in life is easy. Now for the gasmas-opps, I mean nose and jawline. The nose there is EXTREMELY pointy, and long. That and the lips are done WAY too high. Okay, it's damn well obvious you need to study the basics of face anatomy. A little study of the fundamentals goes a VERY long way.

Panel 2: Not much to say about this that hasn't already been said, except that you shouldn't make the face so angular. The human figure is curvy, curvy, curvy, and that goes double for females.

Panel 3: See Panel 1

Panel 4: Have you ever considered using an officail drawing of a charmander as a reference for drawing it?

Panel 5: Wait a second, did you just copy and paste, Vye!? For shame, Vye, for shame.

Panel 6: See Panel 5.

Panel 7: Something about Hilireee's expression here seems hilirious to me. Anyways, to business: Background looks okay, though it could use some more love. What is up with that wacky face anatomy you got goin' there? I mean, seriously, she looks like a frickin' horse. The nose is WAY too long(probably because of how you draw the eyes, though it's no excuse). The face it angular, resulting in the awkward look with the mouth relative to the chin(although it's a lot worse in Panel 2) and the bandage. Also, why are her ears different sizes?

Okay, so in short, study some face anatomy and practice it. I won't bother you(as much) about it if you actually start practicing it('cause then I'll simply give you suggestions of where to improve). I hope you'l take these on board so we can see some good stuff coming from ya!
Zen reminds me of Magus from Chrono Trigger.

Now, to business. In the third panel, I've noticed you are still doing your hands in that particular postion the same wrong way. I recommend that you stop making the knuckle line whole and just draw in the knuckles. That, and look at your hand in the mirrior when you get the chance. It'll give you an idea of how to do hands in that position. I know it's hard but you can do it.
*looks at fourth panel*
Stop doing the animu side mouth and start doing them properly please.
@Foxblaze
Well...like I said before, it reminds me of Ruki, so the design itself seems a little unoriginal to me for obvious reasons. That, and she doesn't look like Hiliree all that much. So, to answer your question, no, I don't really like it.
@Foxblaze
Wait, there's only four? Shit, umm. Well, ignore my opinion of the second one(since it's actually part of the first one) and just treat the other in order. So third become second, fourth becomes third etc, etc.

My opinion still stands and also, Foxblaze, DIGIMON FUCKING ROCKS!!! But that's my opinion and you're entitle to yours of course.
The first one's cute. The second one, ugh. The third, wow. It does a lot. It makes her look cute and innocent, but then her expression shows she's hiding something much darker inside. This is my favorite. Fourth, not bad. Fifth looks like Ruki from Digimon Tamers.
Your hands are getting better, fortunately. UNfortunately, you still to side-mouths. *evil eyes*. And WHOA is Hiliree's...um...bands? The loopy-things on Hiliree's pants are really big in the fifth panel.

You're definatly improving, but you've got a L-O-N-G way to go.
Alright, looks like you're finally getting the hang of hands.*Looks at last panel* DAMMIT VYE! Haven't you heard of working with a larger picture and then shinking it down? If you haven't, you might want to look into that. You can put in a lot of detail and even hide minor mistakes using the technique. And it only takes a second to export the image in a scaled-down size, okay? It shouldn't add that much of a workload, therefore you have no excuse to not use it. A warning though: If your page has tone(s) in it, you're gonna have to do a 2-step export. Basically, you export the image at full size, then you scale the image down in another imaging program like GIMP(it's free, so no excuse).

Also, side-mouths look like shit. Stop that.
HEL YEAH!!
Ven is goin' down!! And it's about time we got some action.

ANYways, is the gag you mentioned my gag? Y'know, the one with Giovanni and all(I don't like to reveal TOO much here)? If not well I simply want to remind you considering it's been awhile, that's all.
Hmmm...
Is it just me or does Zen remind me of Magus from Chrono Trigger?

And Ven's just hilarious!
crapcarp
September 2nd, 2010
Interesting...
This might turn out to be a gundam rip-off, but I do have to admit, this is looking pretty good. And the art is great as well. Keep it up.
Clever Butterfree!
You keep the wing patturn on Butterfree relatively consistent, although it's the wrong pattern. When I drew up my first test page for my "application" I had to draw Lopunny and Butterfree(it's the page where Lopunny punched Butterfree if you're wondering). This meant I needed references, I just can't draw characters who I haven't designed without a good reference because it would just look awkward to me(I'm very harsh when it comes to my own work). Luckily I picked up a neat stratagy guide that contains a Pokedex of practically all Pokemon(I say "practically" because for some odd reason it doesn't have Arceus). Oh, and please do get on with Hilaree soon, but take your time with these two if you need to.

Now with that out of the way, to business(well sorta). Now, how should I send my works to you? Should I just treat it like a fanart submission or something? Also, what size are your pages exactly? I'll start sending in test pages regardless, though it would be nice to know.
Looks grim for Lopunny.
Hey Vye, the comic is lookin-uh, READING good I see. I've been reading some of the comments recently, and apples basically said what I said. However, your response is what surprised me. YOU'RE OPEN!?!?!?!? Holy $#!%, I didn't know that. Four updates a week is kinda duanting, but I can do that.

I know at first I said I was preoccupied, but the collab I was working on is not going, like, at all. So because of that, I can do the art of your comic. It'll give me some nice practice that I desparetely need. So I accept your offer Vye.

FUCK YEEEEEAH!! Just Gotta is gettin' pimped!
Atticus's face in the fourth panel is PRICELESS!!
WHAT!?!?!?!?!
Giovanni's eating ICE CREAM!?!? WTF!? I just can't get over that, ever.
Get this shit off the 'net!
I mean NOW!! Your comic sucks ass. The art is terrible and childish, in fact I've seen a 10-year-old do better than you. The plot is riddled with a million cliches and the characters are as flat as a board. And to top it all off, you make some REALLY bad dialogue, now I know that English isn't your first language, but if you're going to make an english webcomic, it better have some good english, that's just a standard.
DR. KUREHA!
So I guess she has a Stantler with a red top hat as an assistant huh? That would be cool. Mewthree would compliment him and Stantler would call him an @$$hole!
Sounds familiar...
Could this be an adaption to the novel Wolfen? I haven't read it but the person I know who did was VERY creeped out, which is a scary thought considering that she could brave practically every horror flick.
Umm, on second thought...
I said that this webcomic was good but that was before I found the bad webcomics wiki site. Not that your webcomic is on there but after reading some reviews on there I saw that it's only a matter of time before this is put on there. So, I'd like to give some suggestions to ensure this webcomic doesn't suffer that fate.

Art: I'm just being brutally honest here, but your art sucks. Go to polykarbon.com and check out the art tutorials. My art was a just a tad worse than yours before I went there, but after a few of those tuts and my art DRAMATICALLY improved. I'd like to see the same thing happen for yours.

Story: I know you want to have a few questions in our minds about the story to keep us interested, but I think you've gone WAY overboard here. Before giving us new questions you need to answer some, for example, who are the numans exactly and why should I care? So they fight humans and have elementals powers whopdedo, but what is their role in this plot? Shouldn't we focus on Hileree and Spyro a little before we get into anything else?

Well, I hope these suggestions help. Like I said, I like this webcomic and all, but it's got major problems. I don't mean to hurt your feelings or anything, I just want this webcomic to improve is all.
Best. Poke'mon. Doujinshi. EVER!!!
This really reminds me of the fanfic Revelations: A Cynic's view of Poke'mon. If you haven't read it, you should, you'd probably get a lot of inspiration from it. That goes for fans of this webcomic too. Atty really reminds me of Karuta, all that he has to do now is grow some fangs and get a sword!
Good webcomic
Who knew that a such a good webcomic could be made from a stupid concept as Poke'mon(I mean, as a story, the game is awesome). I particularly like how you personify the poke'mon("You're not eating...." so funny!). Great webcomic so keep it up until the end.