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The hippiest hipster that even hippin' hipped. Hipper than you. Hipper than your grandma's broken hip.
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Great follow up to that story...

We finally managed to get the guy to chill out and accept the transaction without leaving negative feedback and all that.

Transaction complete, we blocked him from our store ^_^.

You can never ban a customer from a corporate retail store. God bless the internet!
Perfectly Safe
At my new job, which does involve a retail component (but I’m in the office behind the store, not in the store), I rarely have to even look at a customer. We sell auto parts, mostly online and over the phone to suppliers or mechanics, but occasionally some customer does come in the little store area up front to buy an alternator or something. I focus on the online stuff, and also design flyers and catalogues and adverts etc. But I never have to talk to customers; I mean, what do I know about auto parts? Nothin’. So they don’t even wanna have to talk to me.

But the other day, I did. I had this online customer calling me about a package that had not been delivered that day. He was livid that he had not gotten it, having expected to. I mustered up all my good customer service talk to be apologetic and nice, but when I checked the details I saw that he had ordered the part Friday -- and it was now Monday. I was sick. Honestly, I already felt sick just talking to a customer. Just thinking about the word “customer” often turns my stomach, but to deal with one is the worst thing I can imagine. But to see this? So many of our customers are reasonable people, and was Big Box hell all over again.

“Listen, pal,” I says. “UPS ground shipping service promises shipping in 2 to 7 business days, and that’s the option you picked. This is the first business day since you placed the order. So of the numbers one through seven, this is the only number of days that you can safely assume it won’t arrive in. If you don’t have it by this day next week, give us a call back. Otherwise, you can figure on it being there in the next day or two.”

He was pissed, told us he was going to call the BBB, all that crap. But he’s got no ground to stand on. And there’s the beautiful thing about my story. I work for a small business now. I’m not in corporate retail anymore. So when one of our customers is unreasonable and stupid...we don’t have to answer to corporate executives who would never have the patience to do what they demand we do with these mongrels. We use our customer service skills to a point, but after that? If you still want to be a jerk, you do it on your own time. Cause we’re hanging up.

I love it. Almost as much as I hate customers.

If you see this little drawing and feel a tingle of confusion, make sure you check out the homepage (link above). This was meant to be an overly dramatic interpretation of the site's header.

Just wanted to clear that up for anyone scratching their heads out there ;)
Venion, you have my deepest sympathies!
My strategy used to always be to throw it in their faces and make them realize how rude they were being by pretending to be extra polite myself. I'd look at them and say "Hi! Can I help you? Oh! Sorry, I didn't realize you were on the phone." Then I'd move onto someone else.
I have a long-standing philosophy that states "don't screw with another man's job." Well, in all honesty, I don't say "screw", but I don't have a rating on this comic and anyway you get the idea.

I get that people sometimes have negative experiences shopping in retail outlets, and I get that when people are upset they want to communicate that. I even get that people often lack the wherewithal to communicate their issues with the person they're upset with, and are left with no choice but to yell angrily. But what upsets me is when these disgruntled customers must then go to the associate's superiors intent on causing them to lose their job!

Sure, that's not always what they do. There are some people who try to resolve the issue, and, failing, feel they must carry it to the next level to do so. But you know you've all heard it before. Those demands that the associate be fired. The insistence that the customer will not be satisfied until "that kid is out of here for good!"

The thing is, I get being upset, even really angry, about bad customer service. I've had the same problem. But is your life seriously going to be enriched if someone who does not agree with you if unemployed and out of the store you occasionally go to? What's seriously going to change? Maybe you'll be a little less apprehensive next time you choose this particular retailer for your shopping needs, because you're afraid of direct confrontation and would hate to run into that guy again?

With the economy as bad as it is, I do not feel that any person, regardless of how bad the experience was, has the right to get another person fired from their job. No one needs anyone else to be living on the street, struggling for food, moving back in with their parents, or anything like that just because they had a bad day, or have a sarcastic manner about them, and some customer happened to catch them at their worst. It still happens every day, as chronic complainers carry out some sort of twisted retail darwinism.

Take it to heart, if you're a customer. Don't forget the old adage "kill 'em with kindness." The other day, I had a waitress at my favorite restaurant who was new, had no idea what she was doing, and frankly did a terrible job. The hostess did this server's job for the most part, taking my order, bringing me my drink, even bringing me my food. The waitress checked on me moments after I got my meal and asked if I wanted dessert or a to-go drink, and I had to explain I'd just taken my first bite, and probably needed a little time on that. Now, I had the option, of course, of talking to the manager and insisting that this girl not be around next time I was. I know the manager. But you know what I did? I left her a big tip and wrote her a note that said, "welcome to the restaurant, keep up the good work!" And I'd be willing to bed that, given another week or two, if I go back there? The encouragement will have caused her to learn her job a little better, and Mr. Big Tip is going to get amazing service.
So here's what happened...
This is basically the story. They came in and accused me of this -- and I am not exaggerating. They accused me of stealing a buck and a quarter, and I gave them a two week notice in response. I imagine for a while after that they felt like I was running away, making for the border with my dollar twenty-five. But when my department fell apart afterward, I assume that the figures above had to go through SOMEONE's head.
If you happen to be a curling fan, and you happen to be offended by this comic, well...sorry, Steve.
Are Your Surprised?
Teddy Roosevelt was one of the baddest asses in history. I like to remind people of that. Chuck Norris be damned!
For Eric
This comic is dedicated to Eric. He may not be the only person who gets it, but he'll probably appreciate it more than anyone else.

I'd like to note that this is the first one I've drawn on paper and then scanned in and colored in Photoshop. Any thoughts?
It's funny till you're 30
In what I hope to make a tradition -- nay, an institution -- in Frog Leather, I got a funny idea, and decided to serve it up as a humor cake frosted with DISTURBING.

If you listen to commercial radio, as even those elitists out there, myself included, must from time to time, whether in a friend's car, an elevator, a restaurant or what have you, you may have noticed this frightening trend. The pop stations don't really make you feel old; you're pretty sure that shit has always sucked. It's the classic rock and the oldies. They say "classic" and we think, what, 25, 30 years ago? And when the classic rock station plays something like Pearl Jam, or early REM stuff, we say "no, no, this cannot be! I listened to these things when I was young." And that's when the realization must surely hit: YOU WERE YOUNG TWENTY-FIVE YEARS AGO.

What, praytell, does that make you now?
First Comic!
I hope you appreciate this first, modest offering, interweb.
I'm really more of a cat person.