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Dogbert
  • Real Name
    Israel Reyes
  • Age
    42
  • Gender
    Male
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Do you know what time it is?
"¿Que horas son?
"¡Las que usted diga, señor presidente!"

This was the most common joke back in Mexico's heyday of authoritarianism.

Coming from a country that's still fresh out of an 80 years-long dictatorship at the hands of a One State Party, I can't be any more disappointed in all the people in my country rooting out for a tyrant. Is my country's memory's that short? (nevermind, it actually is, considering how on our previous period they voted YET AGAIN for the PRI).

I mean, U.S guys? I get they definitely don't get it, they don't know what it's like to actually have a whole country's spirit broken in a century of dictatorship (YET), they just see "lefty leader deposed" and go all sympathetic and starry eyed but, Mexico? We're supposed to know better.

Is this "an act of racism"? Being a mestizo myself, I can tell you guys that being ethnic is no charte blanche to trample the rule of law.

Is Morales actually not guilty? Look, getting a second term is something not uncommon. Third? VERY unlikely. FOURTH IN A ROW AND DOING SO BY PULLING THE SAME SNAKE MOVE CARLOS SALINAS DE GORTARI DID HERE IN MEXICO? Fuck you, fuck you and the horse you rode on in.

I covered a similar issue in an earlier comic but: I don't care how good your cause or how much good you may or may not have done, the end doesn't always justify the means, and you lose me the moment you become that which you allegedly fight.

"He who fights monsters must be careful of not becoming a monster himself" --Nietzche.

Sic Semper Tyranis.

P.S: Worst part of the whole deal? Now Bolivia is stuck with a bible-thumping right-winger of an interim... and it's all Evo's fault.
The Fallout
I can only wonder how can Bethesda have in the same house the hacks that make the new Fallout games and the geniuses that make Doom and The Evil Within, and how Fallout keeps getting progressively more dumbed-down according to the franchise's hardcore fans. Now 76 seems like the kind of games that give sandboxes a bad name and make it dev-speak for "we were too stingy for hiring a writer and too lazy to code story content in."

In any case, this is sure entertaining to watch from afar.

Regarding the black and white: Life is currently serving me triple servings of horrible and currently drawing is turning out life pulling teeth (this page took me a whole week). Because of this, the following comics may drawn in "low energy mode" until I can get some sense of normalcy back (with the alternative being hiatus). Apologies for the inconveniences.

Peace.
Really, Stop.
I don't care if you loved it.

I don't care if it's good.

STOP PROSELYTIZING!!! Why is it such a big deal for you that I don't care for this movie???

I just don't care for that movie. Good thing you liked it, I just don't care.

Fun Fact: Charlie Daniels hated The Devil Went Down To Georgia featuring in Guitar Hero... his version was that "the devil always won in that game, and the song was about him always losing"... but the real reason was that he wasn't paid the amount of royalties he wanted because the featured version was a cover, and everyone knew that.

Scorcese was almost the man behind Joker, he ended up not being it, and now he spits bile against superhero movies... think about it.
So, Paranoia
For those not in the know:

Back in 1984, Greg Costikyan, Dan Gelber, and Eric Goldberg wrote what became for two decades the most infamous parody of everything wrong with Gary Gygax' toxic school of Dungeon Mastering. This book openly told Game Masters to do the stuff of nightmares crap table horror stories are made of: Things like constantly change the rules on the fly to mess with the players, or arbitrarily kill player characters if the players took a peek at the book to figure out the rules, or sow discord among players so the mission will never be a success. The game was meant to be played in the same spirit as Dragon's Lair arcade game: You didn't play to win, you played to laugh at all the happenings that in any other roleplaying game would make you flip the table at the DM and punch them in the face.

So... how do you bring that to a computer game? You'd have to make it into the worst game in history, because if all you do is using the game's setting you're totally missing the point.

Peace.
Nazi Trivia
1) Jews weren't the only ones dragged from their homes and into concentration camps. Additional "guests" included reporters, political enemies, the LGBT, and yes, the homeless.

2) It took over seven years for concentration camps to turn into extermination camps.

3) This all happened while centrists kept saying "that will never happen" and then watched it happen.

But then, he's already talking about executing whistleblowers too so, you know what? Do whatever you want, we'll all be dead in 30 years or so anyway. And we already deserve to die.

Peace.

P.S: Spoilers... 45 already announced his intentions of sending the mentally ill to Auchwitz as soon as he's done with the homeless.
Something positive, for a change
Gumshoe happens to be a system I quite enjoy, as it is the case with most of Robin D. Laws' work.

Regarding detective work, I must point out that, while Gumshoe gives you all the clues on autopilot, the player must still make sense of them and reconstruct the crime/mystery on their own and there are no rules to help you on that part (so, if you lack deductive reasoning skills at all, you're still toast). Also, while the game aids players, the GM must still do their homework and properly structure the mystery at hand, so don't think for a moment you can run Gumshoe by the seat of your pants (the game can only show you the way, you must still walk it).

Regarding everything else, Gumshoe is made for low-powered characters (while the Arkham City example was handy, sorry, playing Batman is off the table) regardless of which Gumshoe game you're playing so forget about "action detectives" because if you try your PC is getting pumped so full of lead on the first firefight in which team PC is outnumbered by at least 3-to-1 (even if fighting mooks) that you might as well use your PC as a pencil. No, you'll never be James Bond in Night's Black Agents (at most, think of any of the cast in old Mission Impossible TV series), you'll never be Buck Rogers in Ashen Stars (but you can be BSG's Gaetta) and you'll never be John Carnby in any of the Cthulhu games (but you can aim for cousin Hellmann!)... still, as long as you play with the right expectations, you'll have a great time.

If you haven't tried it yet, what are you waiting for?

Peace.
River City Girls
A beat 'em up revival game by Arc? On Kunio Kun's universe? With female leads? YES PLEASE!

At first I wasn't sold on the "90's arcade" aesthetic, especially since I know what Arc is usually capable of... but dammit, Bloodstained and Monsterboy left me craving for quality retro games. What sealed the deal, however, was the music. Anyone who knows me knows music is the make-or-break for me, and RCG's soundtrack happens to put together Megan McDuffie and Chipzel (and I LOVE Chipzel's work)... upon listening to the soundtrack that's when I knew I was getting that game on month 1.

I was even more pleased to find out the gameplay matches the music in quality... I fear it's probably lots shorter than River City Ransom Underground, but production values more than make up for it (still playing it as I posted this on the publishing queue). The cutscenes in manga style are charming, and are even produced with the "cheap b&w press" effects, and it's full of humorous details (especially for fans of ABOOBOOO!).

If you're a fan of Arc, old beat 'em ups, or River City Ransom, you have no excuse not to get this game. This will definitely tide me over until Streets of Rage 4 arrives next year.

Peace.

P.S: If you didn't get the joke, google this old meme:
<img src=https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/378/582/afc.jpg>

P.P.S: Trivia - Did you know Japan's age of consent is THIRTEEN? (this may change by individual prefectures but still, goddammit Japan!).
Secceeding From The World
So, s tick a fork in the U.S, they're done.

By the time this comic has its turn in the publishing queue, the U.S of A. will have exactly 24 hours to consider their temper tantrum. I have enough friends there to bemoan this.

Peace.
Soylent: The Gorging
Sure! Suggest legalizing eating human flesh in a world where human life's value is already at a historical all-time low and the 1% already sees the other 99% as redundant to the point they're already packing to abandon us in the planet they killed (all they need is for A.I to be perfected).

WHAT COULD EVER GO WRONG??

Sure this won't turn human trafficking into the biggest industry in the planet.

Sure this won't degenerate into human cattle pens.

Sure this won't end up with cannibal versions of Kobe Beef and lobster restaurants for the "rich and eccentric" (which I'd have turned into a comic by itself if I only found it fun, which I don't).

And then, it's not like any of this matters anyway since the Amazon's demise already sealed our fate as a species and in 30 years (give or take) we'll all be dead. It's just depressing the lows we'll hit before the reaper comes a-knocking.

So, to whomever is willing to write Soylent: The Gorging for Paradox Interactive... there, that one's free, you can have it.

Peace.

P.S: Side effects of human flesh consumption include kidney failure and Kuru (look that disease up, it's fun).
Hitting Rock Bottom
So, Kickstarter doesn't allow porn, but they allow nazi propaganda... got it.

By the time I found about this piece of crap, the KS had ended long ago, otherwise I'd have reported it.

I don't care if this is a parody, nazis (or any other psychopath for that matter) must NEVER be made into sympathetic figures, and must not be given a platform. EVER.

Friendly reminder before the inevitable FREEZE PEACH retort: Notorios neo-nazi Richard Spencer has gone on record stating he does not believe in free speech, but believes in weaponizing it against his enemies so save it, that shit won't fly here.

Peace.
@Imp: Playing Bearworld is a player's fault.
@1958Fury: ...which coincidentally looks a lot like the rock that tripped Microsoft during the Xbone's launch.
Culture War
My heart goes to the whole staff of Deadspin who are now going through what can only be called an act of culture war.

G/O seemingly acquired defunct Gawker's properties specifically to put a lid on and silence them. While I'll shed no tears for Kotaku, I grieve for all other blogging sites now sharing the same fate.

Peace.
Deja Vu
Remember when I said Tumblr would be the next Myspace?

Well, remember, you saw it first here.

Also, it was a double win, both confirming I was right AND seeing Verizon lose copious amounts of money was sweet. And seeing Automattic's impending, inevitable failure with Tumblr as well, now I can only wonder if they can break Myspace's actual record (sold for 50 dollars back in the day).

Peace.
"Early Access" Park
I want to start by stating I DO like the new Star Wars. I love Rei, I love Finn and Poe, and those who did read the long dead Expanded Universe and relate the Force with eastern mysticism will justify the Solos' dark side emo kid (because yes, THAT is the dark side of the force, actually, being a self-centered dummass).

Having said that... Miss Kennedy may need to get her act straight here.

Whoever cleared this park to open to the public clearly took a page from the ESA... and releasing pre-alpha builds for sale only works for videogames. Whoever it was that took it after videogames at Disney now will have to take it after Final Fantasy XIV... and close the park, ACTUALLY FINISH IT, and then re-open (also issue a public apology somewhere along the way).

Just like Microsoft, Disney finally overstepped their bounds regarding underestimating the fanboys in their demographic, and just as with Microsoft, Disney is now getting served a slice of humblepie, for now they see even fanboys have their limits (in this case, the breaking point seems to be unfinished, overpriced parks).

Peace.
Thank you kindly
@1958Fury:
@Aryxbez:

Both of you, thank you.
Whose Fault Is this?
Answer: BOTH.

If the game is that shitty, what are you doing there? A huge problem with players is adopting this victim mindset where they stay at a shitty table because "it's the only gaming table around."

No Gaming Is Better Than Bad Gaming. Even before roll20, all you had to do was -starting a gaming table yourself- and see the player spots fill up quickly. Demand for GMs will always be higher than player demand. Just start a table, run a game, and groom a successor until they're ready to run a game for you.

A crap gaming experience may be a GM's fault, but two crap experiences in a row is the player's fault for putting up with it. Have some initiative.

Peace.

PS: Credit of the scathing joke goes to Twitter's clever @DandyBeyond.
The Boys Will Be Boys
I loved Garth Ennis' work in Preacher... alas, having him do superheroes would inevitably give the same results as the Snyderverse fiasco.

Jut like Snyder, Garth Ennis clearly hates superheroes, he doesn't understand the genre, he isn't sold on the might of the self-realized individual. He prefers metahumans and villains, so that's what he does (also, the fact that Ennis' career started during the Iron Age of comics when it was all about being dark and edgy definitely shaped him).

I had my fill of edgelord shit in the 90s, and the world outside my window is already a cesspool, and I see it every day. I don't need fiction that also reminds me of it, I consume fiction precisely to remove myself from this cesspool of a planet. Hell, I wouldn't have liked The Boys even back in 2006, that's four whole years after The Ultimates (which is basically the compromise of the genre with "realism" done right). Sure, I had an edgelord phase just like every other 90s' teen, but that was a long time ago.

Peace.

PS: The cosplay? It's Zealot from WildCATs, yet another relic of the edgy 90s.
And No Fucks Were Given
My abject failure at getting enough people interested in the Q&A I wanted to do for #500 tells me I still got a long way to go.

Usually, the question would be whether I actually have the energy to walk it, but meh, I'm well aware my opinions are as popular and/or welcome as a fart in an astronaut suit. "Madman Screaming In The Desert" is basically my whole schtick.

Whatever, I'm still here. I may eventually call it quits, but today is not the day.

Peace.