Felicija Kowalska- Critique Desired

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Felicija Kowalska- Critique Desired

Postby slaznasha » June 4th, 2016, 1:17 am

Hi!

I'm Slaznasha, and I only joined yesterday.

Today I just uploaded my first comic here, FELICIJA KOWALSKA.

Since I am hardly a reliable source of self-critique, I think I need critique from others on this website.

I attached the comic below, so have a look at it and tell me what you think!

THANKS!!!
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slaznasha
 
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Re: Felicija Kowalska- Critique Desired

Postby eishiya » June 4th, 2016, 9:12 am

Since you're asking for critique on one page, posting in the Creative Showcase is fine, but if you later want critique on multiple pages of the comic and on your storytelling in the comic, you should ask for a review in the Webcomic Reviews section. Despite the name, that section is the place to go to get critique on one's comic as a whole, as opposed to individual panels or pages.

Unrelated, but you should put a description of your comic in the description box in the comic's Profile. Had I not found it through your Self-Promo thread where there was a description, I wouldn't have even bothered to read it. Descriptions help a lot!


I'm really glad you asked for critique because when I read your Self-Promotion post, I was very interested, but when I saw the comic, my first thought was "oh no, I hope that if the comic doesn't do well, the artist won't think it's because of the subject matter." I'm glad that I can tell you early: the subject matter is promising, it's the presentation that might turn people away.

My first impression of the comic is that I'm looking at something unfinished. The lineart is sketchy, the panel gutters are uneven and feel randomly sized. Sketchy art can work, but yours just feels unfinished because different parts of the image have different levels of finish, and things are often simply unclear. It just looks like whatever you found most interesting (as opposed to what is more important) or what you found most challenging is what gets worked on the most, and everything else is left scribbly regardless for whether that scribbliness looks good or not. You also look like you're trying a bunch of different things but are afraid to commit to any of them. A couple of panels have what appear to be spot blacks, but you never go all the way in actually making them read as solid shapes, so they look like a wishywashy attempt at either spot blacks or shading. Some panels have shading, but again it's not finished enough to actually give a sense of form or help the composition. Some panels have a bit of colour, and yet again it doesn't contribute anything. Whatever you do, finish it. Don't leave things unfinished-looking. Even if you want to do a sketch comic, minor things like not letting your art go outside of defined panel borders can help a lot!

Take your time with your comic. You don't need to update daily or even multiple times a week, you just need to update regularly, and each update has to be worth the wait. A page that's difficult to read is rarely worth even a short wait. If a story is worth telling at all, it's worth putting effort into presenting well.
If you're still experimenting with styles for this comic, bring each style to a finish on its page. It might make your comic's style inconsistent until you settle, but at least the comic will look like you care about it, and it'll be readable.


I have some difficulty following the action on this page. The dark-haired character in panel 2 looks important (he's the most fully-rendered thing in the panel, on the page even, and he has the strongest contrast on the whole page), but then he disappears. Is that him in panel 3? I thought it was the white-haired character at first (until I saw the "knock knock") because he disappears in panel 4 so I thought he was just an over-rendered passerby.
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