looking for critique!! help me out pls

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looking for critique!! help me out pls

Postby c o r e » October 28th, 2018, 9:47 pm

hello! im rey. im looking for critique on my stuff since i almost rarely never get any for some godforsaken reason.

here's the first image. i was experimenting with pen pressure stuff, and my usual stuff would look like this except without thicker lines:
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here's the second. these are comic pages from chapter 1 of my comic, which focuses on action and framing. (i guess.)
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and here's the third, which is just an average comic page.
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what can i improve upon? (my general drawings and comic structure in particular i guess)
please let me know your thoughts! don't hold back; be as honest as you can!
thank you for looking!
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Re: looking for critique!! help me out pls

Postby kytri » October 29th, 2018, 2:15 am

I think the more varied line weight in the first image looks nice. If you can do more of that in the comic itself it will add more personality and look more professional.

Overall I think the panel layouts are pretty clear. Even without the context of other pages I can basically tell what's going on.
One thing that is a bit confusing is there's basically no backgrounds in any of these pages. It's fine not to draw the environment in every panel, and with things like fight scenes it's sometimes better to drop them out so the action is more clear, but the reader should be able to tell where a scene is taking place and in these sample scenes I can't tell where they are.
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Re: looking for critique!! help me out pls

Postby MasterComic » October 29th, 2018, 10:54 am

I like your art a lot. The sketchy look really adds character and fun visuals.

The only gripe I have is that panel 5 is a little weird. Either the right side of his face seems like it should be erased, or his nose needs to be a different angle.

Thanks for sharing!
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Re: looking for critique!! help me out pls

Postby c o r e » October 29th, 2018, 11:27 am

kytri wrote:I think the more varied line weight in the first image looks nice. If you can do more of that in the comic itself it will add more personality and look more professional.

Overall I think the panel layouts are pretty clear. Even without the context of other pages I can basically tell what's going on.
One thing that is a bit confusing is there's basically no backgrounds in any of these pages. It's fine not to draw the environment in every panel, and with things like fight scenes it's sometimes better to drop them out so the action is more clear, but the reader should be able to tell where a scene is taking place and in these sample scenes I can't tell where they are.



first of all, thank you for taking your time to look at this! i really appreciate it.
panel stuff is what i was worried about, so it's nice to see that im doing ok at it at the very least.

as for the backgrounds, it's the weakest aspect of my stuff i feel...though that hasn't stopped me from doing a few over the course of the comic's run.
here's a few examples. any pointers? (open to anyone)
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MasterComic wrote:I like your art a lot. The sketchy look really adds character and fun visuals.

The only gripe I have is that panel 5 is a little weird. Either the right side of his face seems like it should be erased, or his nose needs to be a different angle.

Thanks for sharing!


thank you for looking at this thread!
i thought the sketchy look would make me come off as lazy, but im really trying my best here! im happy to hear you're enjoying the visuals to some extent.

which panel of the 3 pages posted are you talking about, by the way?
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Re: looking for critique!! help me out pls

Postby K-cho » October 29th, 2018, 1:33 pm

I think the backgrounds in the last example you posted look fine, if a bit simple and sketchy. The perspective feels a bit off to me in the 4th panel, but I'll let someone who's actually good at perspective themselves give you more advice on that lol. I do like how it looks like you are trying to incorporate various different angles into your panels. As long as your overall comic has a good mix of panels with backgrounds as well as more simple panels, you should be in good shape. :)
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Re: looking for critique!! help me out pls

Postby eishiya » October 29th, 2018, 2:12 pm

I think the sketchy lines could be fine, if you didn't leave white gaps between the sketchy lines while toning, e.g.
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Those white gaps make the pages look unfinished/unpolished, and if you just fill them in with one of the surrounding tones, they'll look a lot better, without requiring neater lines. If you do your tones on a separate layer, it should be easy to extend your tones to cover those white gaps. Some programs even have tools to prevent such gaps, so you should check what's available in the software you're using.

That said, I think it would benefit your art if you work on creating your lines in a small number of long, quick strokes, instead of building them up out of a large number of small ones. It'll build your line confidence, and make it easier to make dynamic, swooshy lines. Lines built up of many little segments tend to look stiff because they have no flow or energy to them (unless they're following a swooshy undersketch).

Your tones have pretty strong moire patterns, so instead of looking like solid grey, they look like grid patterns. This is a consequence of scaling down a repeating dot pattern. You may be able to reduce the effect by rotating your tones slightly when using them (the same trick works with traditional tones, too!). If your drawing program doesn't support rotating the patterns, you could make your own rotated patterns to use.
Some artists don't use "real" tones at all when making webcomics (or use tones for print and replace them with greys for the online version), and instead use textured grey, which avoids the moire problem entirely since there's no pattern of dots to cause interference/moire.
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Re: looking for critique!! help me out pls

Postby kytri » October 29th, 2018, 3:57 pm

These backgrounds do give a better sense of space. They're a little rough but the more you practice at them the better you'll get. You'd probably benefit from learning more about perspective and drawing perspective grids, if you happen to be using clip studio it has a perspective ruler tool that I find very handy.

Sketchyness isn't inherently bad but I'll agree with Eishiya's assessment that many short strokes appear less confident than fewer longer ones. Their comments about the white gaps and moire patterns are accurate as well. They don't affect readability but they look unintentional.
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Re: looking for critique!! help me out pls

Postby c o r e » October 29th, 2018, 8:13 pm

eishiya wrote:I think the sketchy lines could be fine, if you didn't leave white gaps between the sketchy lines while toning, e.g.
Image
Those white gaps make the pages look unfinished/unpolished, and if you just fill them in with one of the surrounding tones, they'll look a lot better, without requiring neater lines. If you do your tones on a separate layer, it should be easy to extend your tones to cover those white gaps. Some programs even have tools to prevent such gaps, so you should check what's available in the software you're using...


oof. i'm exceptionally lazy whenever it comes to finishing/polishing stuff. time to change that, i guess.
i've been practicing trying to do quick, long strokes instead of this perfectionist nonsense, but my efforts isn't exactly shining through lmao.
is having moire patterns a bad thing? i kind of want to keep the grid-like nature of the screentones, but i'll try rotating the screentones next time i make a page to see how it looks.

kytri wrote:These backgrounds do give a better sense of space. They're a little rough but the more you practice at them the better you'll get. You'd probably benefit from learning more about perspective and drawing perspective grids, if you happen to be using clip studio it has a perspective ruler tool that I find very handy...


perspective!! a mortal enemy.
i'm not sure if medibang has that kind of tool, but i'll have to check to make sure.


thank you all for the critiques!! if there's anything else you want to say, please don't hesitate to lay out your thoughts!
i'll try to find more images for critique later.
maybe.
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Re: looking for critique!! help me out pls

Postby kytri » October 29th, 2018, 8:44 pm

I suppose moire patterns aren't inherently bad if you're using them intentionally, but they are kind of hard on the eyes.

I don't know what sorts of tools Medibang does or doesn't have. You can make perspective grids manually in any program, clip studio just has a dedicated tool for it.
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Re: looking for critique!! help me out pls

Postby MasterComic » October 29th, 2018, 11:38 pm

c o r e wrote:
MasterComic wrote:I like your art a lot. The sketchy look really adds character and fun visuals.

The only gripe I have is that panel 5 is a little weird. Either the right side of his face seems like it should be erased, or his nose needs to be a different angle.

Thanks for sharing!


thank you for looking at this thread!
i thought the sketchy look would make me come off as lazy, but im really trying my best here! im happy to hear you're enjoying the visuals to some extent.

which panel of the 3 pages posted are you talking about, by the way?


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This page, the second panel, the 3/4 view of the guy. That's what I was referring to. :)
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Re: looking for critique!! help me out pls

Postby eishiya » October 30th, 2018, 8:31 am

That's a difficult view to draw. When the face is turned that much, the far eye is partially obscured by the nose, which is why trying to make the entire eye visible looks odd.
In addition, the eyeballs are round and rotate in their sockets, so when the pupils are looking at the viewer, they'll always look round, no matter how the head is turned. I drew a similar view here (last panel), perhaps it might help explain what I mean.
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Re: looking for critique!! help me out pls

Postby c o r e » October 30th, 2018, 11:59 am

i think i get it. i'll try to keep it in mind.

thank you so much guys!!!
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Re: looking for critique!! help me out pls

Postby GreenRaptorStudios » October 31st, 2018, 3:04 am

Okay, so I'll keep this a bit brief. I'm sorta giving a you quick glance kinda critique, without really going to full details over the story. Judging it purely on your art, you are indeed an aspiring artist. You're character at the top is quite cute, and colorful. Your pages are very reminiscent of manga with quick movement, dynamic camera angles, and you've clearly studied up and know how to draw a comic. The biggest issue I do see with these which is very consistent is that your lines are terribly messy and rough. You appear to be drawing with multiple stokes as opposed to a smooth straight stroke. This is leading to your pages coming out quite messing and actually appearing more like a rough sketch as opposed to the finished result. If you could just clean up your lines (and possibly add some variety) I think you'd have a really good page here. Again, this is a brief glance, work on those lines and see if you can apply that new skill to your old skills, and you'll get these pages looking great. And to be honest, I still kinda have a rough line problem myself still at times.
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Re: looking for critique!! help me out pls

Postby c o r e » October 31st, 2018, 3:53 pm

thank you again!

also here's a recent piece. i tried doing some more more quick, "confident" strokes (although it still looks scratch because habits) and played around more with line weight.
it's a slightly aged up version of the main characters. (it's how i usually depict them. the comic takes place during the past.)
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happy halloween!
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Re: looking for critique!! help me out pls

Postby K-cho » November 1st, 2018, 6:08 pm

I can see some improvement in the lineart in that picture! Drawing with one continuous stroke will become more natural the more you practice it. :)

Just ftr, in that picture I can still see some of the issue that eishiya pointed out earlier with colors not being filled in 100% around the lines. When you color or add tones, are you using a brush or doing something like selecting and filling the area that you want to color? (If it's the latter, developing smoother lines will also help you here, since it looks like some of your short strokes are creating tiny areas that then aren't getting colored in later.)
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