I know I am naturally a homosexual, but..

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I know I am naturally a homosexual, but..

Postby Kairin Touzen » November 30th, 2011, 6:17 am

I know I am naturally a homosexual, but almost everything that surrounds me believes that it's wrong to be one. My parents are seemingly against it, though my father shows less hostility towards the situation. He just tends to leave no reply to my questions. I am a Catholic and a believer of God, so I looked up if homosexuality is wrong in His eyes. Various opinions came up with the search -- disagreements and agreements spread all over.

I am now 16 years old, a young adolescent. I grew up being naturally attracted to girls. I found out about my homosexuality ever since I was in first grade (about 5 years old I guess). I NEVER fell in love with a guy. I've always shut that part of myself to my family (including relatives) and friends. It only became a little more obvious when I turned high school (about 13 years old), but it's still hidden to most people around me. I have no one to talk with deeply about the case, since my friends are all straight girls. Yes, they do understand me, but they can't properly address the problem. And seeing the society I am into (society that despises and discriminates homosexuals), I am even more scared of revealing myself. I've already gotten used to "having no one to seriously converse with regarding the situation."

But right now, I feel really, really sad, as everyone is really against it, and now that I am in college, I've separated from all my high school best friends. I'm very confused since some say that homosexuality is a sin, but yet, I had such sexual orientation since I was a child! I've awakened to such a nature when I was just innocent! We were made capable of loving... so why do some people say it's wrong to be in love with the same gender? Why do some naturally turn to gays and lesbians?

Your answers are greatly appreciated. Thank you.

P.S. I did mention I was in high school when I was 13 years old (in fact, it's actually 12) since the Philippine education system has no middle school. ^^
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Re: I know I am naturally a homosexual, but..

Postby avian-reader » November 30th, 2011, 7:51 am

Hi, I'm also a Catholic, and my uncle was gay from birth, according to my grandmother (both of them are now deceased). Personally, we've figured out a simple way to get to grips with it (though please by no means see this as the only way of thinking, it's only our opinion):

  • Sex outside marriage is wrong.
  • Marriage is for love AND conception of children.
  • Homosexual couples cannot naturally conceive.
  • Therefore homosexual marriage is wrong.
  • Therefore homosexual SEX is wrong.

However there's nothing wrong with homosexual FEELINGS, or behaviours that would be acceptable for heterosexual unmarried couples.

Personally, I feel that God has a reason and a place for those born homosexual, particularly when I look at this piece of scripture:

Mathew 19:12 wrote:"For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it"


I hope this helps you in some way. I will ensure to put you in my prayers. I hope God helps you to discern and come to terms with your personal identity, and gives you the strength to cope with any adversity or trial you face.

Please continue to pray on this matter, and I'm sure you will pull through :)
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Re: I know I am naturally a homosexual, but..

Postby YakkitySax » November 30th, 2011, 8:15 am

I'm not of the same faith as you, so I may not be able to help other than give support to you where I can. I'm a recently out-of-the-closet lesbian myself, if that helps.

You may want to do some research in your area of "Gay Friendly" churches. We have several in my area that I've been told are very warm, welcoming, and similar ones in your area may be able to talk to you, help you cope with your feelings, and come to your own understanding of what the Bible says about homosexuality. Doing your own research is a wonderful idea, but like you said there are so many different view points it's hard to find an unbiased one.

You might also want to check out your local GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) if you haven't already. You said you were in college and almost all colleges I know of have one. If yours doesn't, look for a university close by that does. They can offer you wonderful emotional support and probably give you a ton of resources on the church and homosexuality. I promise you they'll be very accepting and helpful. That's their job.

However on the end of helping you find your own beliefs of what is acceptable to God, I can't help you. That's your path to find and take. Do and think what your heart and soul feels is right and you will be a happier person for it. Listen to every angle and voice, then take the next step forward to think it over and come to your own conclusion. After all, humans are human and even within your faith there are too many opinions to count. I'm not saying any of them are wrong, but they can't all be right either.

Good luck finding your way. I'm always a PM away if you want to talk.
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Re: I know I am naturally a homosexual, but..

Postby mosama » November 30th, 2011, 11:39 am

I'm gonna give you the most honest answer I can think of.
Religion thinking of homosexuality as a sin is living proof that religion doesn't make sense and is flawed and created by man. Theres really NO GOOD reason that 'a man shall not lye with another man for it is an abomination against god' THAT SHIT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE IT NEVER WILL. The guy who wrote the bible was probably born straight and revolved the bible around his personal preferences including sexual preferences. Just like how we know the quran is made by man because theres a SHIT load of rules in it that are very beneficial to MEN personally.

You're in college its time you accept this or atleast accept that you're doing nothing wrong in being homosexual.


avian-reader wrote:
  • Marriage is for love AND conception of children.
  • Homosexual couples cannot naturally conceive.
  • Therefore homosexual marriage is wrong.
  • Therefore homosexual SEX is wrong.

If marriage has to involve conception of children and natural conceiving of children then are marriages with people who cant have kids wrong? What if a lady has her tubes tied and gets married and has sex? In that case that should be just as sinful as being a homosexual. Or what about a women who cant naturally conceive due to things beyond her control? Is she going to hell too?
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Re: I know I am naturally a homosexual, but..

Postby H0lyhandgrenade » November 30th, 2011, 11:53 am

mosama wrote:If marriage has to involve conception of children and natural conceiving of children then are marriages with people who cant have kids wrong? What if a lady has her tubes tied and gets married and has sex? In that case that should be just as sinful as being a homosexual. Or what about a women who cant naturally conceive due to things beyond her control? Is she going to hell too?


If what I remember from my RE class is correct, I seem to recall that yes, marriage between two people not having kids IS wrong. You're supposed to never use contraception, and every time you have sex you should be doing it with the intentions of having children (unless you're using the rythym method, which is okay.) No babies, no sex.

avian-reader wrote:
  • Sex outside marriage is wrong.
  • Marriage is for love AND conception of children.
  • Homosexual couples cannot naturally conceive.
  • Therefore homosexual marriage is wrong.
  • Therefore homosexual SEX is wrong.


As someone who doesn't believe in such things as god, it upsets me to hear things like this, I must admit. I don't like to tell people they shouldn't believe in something, not if it brings them happiness and comfort and direction to their life and all that good stuff. But when religion is telling you that you're not allowed to live your life to the fullest, and denies you something as simple as sex for apparently no good reason other than 'it's evil', I have to ask why. From the point of view of an atheist, it's very frustrating to see. People don't need the stress and worry put on them, thinking they were born to be a natural sinner, all for what's from my perspective, let's face it, no reason whatsoever. It doesn't hurt anyone. It's not a bad thing.

Maybe I'm being offensive giving my opinion on the matter. I'm sorry, I don't mean to upset anyone. But reading this upsets me.
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Re: I know I am naturally a homosexual, but..

Postby mitchellbravo » November 30th, 2011, 12:30 pm

I was raised Catholic too. It's more a cultural thing than belief thing for me, as most of my actual beliefs aren't really trine with Catholic doctrine.

Here's the way I see it. God made you, God loves you. You were born the way you were born, and you'll face difficulties in your life because of that, just as everyone will for various reasons. You will face discrimination because, as you're aware, many people in this world (even in so-called civilized nations) still have a problem with people who aren't straight, for religious reasons typically but I guess occasionally people just dig their heels into this notion that "it isn't right."

But like, bullshit to those people. You're a human being, and you are the one with the power to choose whether to be who you are, or to try to be someone else. There's nothing wrong with trying to be a better person and improving aspects of yourself you find disagreeable. But there is nothing actually wrong with homosexuality. Your homosexuality cannot hurt anyone. You cannot turn straight people gay or corrupt children or spread diseases simply because you are gay.

Are you a kind person? Do you try to help others? Do you respect others? Do you love others? When possible, do you put the needs of others before your own needs? If so, you are following the most important parts of Christ's teachings, and that's an admirable thing.

Just between you and me, if homosexuality is the one "bad" mark you have against you, then you're probably doing pretty well in God's eyes. I mean, I can't speak for whichever deity you follow, but (naturally this is coming from someone who isn't particularly religious) I think following the parts of the bible with regard to being a kind, agreeable, and respectful person are more important than the pile of other rules that were valid back when the bible was written, but aren't so necessary to daily life nowadays.

And good on you for not buying into the bullshit that being homosexual is a choice. Be strong, love who you love, spread kindness, and I say you're in the clear.
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Re: I know I am naturally a homosexual, but..

Postby SuperBiasedMan » November 30th, 2011, 12:39 pm

The Christian belief is that the Bible is the word of God as transcribed by man.
It has since been retranslated and made into different versions.
It has been edited and adjusted, giving different versions.
And it is then read and interpreted by preachers.

It is not absolute.
The Bible as it is, can be full of contradictions and problems that don't make sense as a whole in one book.

Does this invalidate Christianity?
No, not unless discovering that neutrinos can go faster than the speed of light invalidates science.

There are parts of the bible that have been interpreted certain ways and could be easily interpreted in others.
There's a chapter of the Bible that's been cited as being all about how you shouldn't masturbate...but it just as easily might be about how you shouldn't break a contract you've agreed upon with a person.

The Bible is actually not a hard and fast objective account of the past and what man should do. It's meant to be a set of guidelines for you to think about and muse on.

One thing I find interesting is that a specific section of the Gospel gets neglected, the part where Jesus gave his commandmants.
This is marked out as a special part of the bible, where Jesus says all you need to do is love both God and your fellow man with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind.
I find it odd that this is not quoted more, since it's Jesus declaring the 2 basic rules of conduct we must follow in our lives. Instead, people seem to focus on what they've interpreted as victimising certain people for being evil.

The point is, man is not perfect. Including the priests who tell you that homosexuality is wrong. They can easily misread the bible and be taught it incorrectly.
As you say, homosexuality cannot be a sin when you have done nothing wrong. It hurts no-one and is an expression of the one most important thing Jesus told us to do, love.
What sounds more like a sin to me, is when people persecute based on something they couldn't control and force them to adhere to what the people consider the standard.
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Re: I know I am naturally a homosexual, but..

Postby Amante » November 30th, 2011, 2:17 pm

mitchellbravo wrote:
Are you a kind person? Do you try to help others? Do you respect others? Do you love others? When possible, do you put the needs of others before your own needs? If so, you are following the most important parts of Christ's teachings, and that's an admirable thing.

This part is something that I'd like to emphasize on specifically. Amongst all the things you would have to worry about keeping in line following a religious path, it would be unfair for someone to be exiled solely for their sexual preference. You shouldn't have to. I think that you should just continue to believe in what you believe, regardless of it trying to tell you that you're a living sin. If homosexuality is a sin, and were all born sinners anyway, you're kinda on the same track. Just worry about worshiping god in your own way, and being a good person. Follow his Commandments and I'm sure you'll be fine.
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Re: I know I am naturally a homosexual, but..

Postby kevansevans » November 30th, 2011, 2:51 pm

There is nothing wrong with being a homosexual. It's people who think it's wrong that are wrong. It seems like you are going through a lot of typical High School Drama. And I know it sounds stereotypical, but I'm 17, and still in high school, so Drama is all I get. Then I say 'F--- That"

I'm supposed to be a Mormon, and I live right on the border of Utah (Mormon capital of the world who lets religion get in the way of EVERYTHING), so I get all the worst shit about people thinking Homosexuality is wrong.

"Everyone in the entire world is screwed up, except for those who accept that fact and embrace it"

You'll find your niche eventually. As for your father, he's just going to have to get used to the idea eventually. Don't be afraid to express your homosexuality around him (But don't exaggerate it, we don't want to scare this person) till he understands that you are the same person. I would try talking to him when you two are alone. Yeah, the "father son" sort of thing.

But you're right, this is a bit hard to understand coming from a person who is a heterosexual, so if this comes out all "weird", I do apologize.
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Re: I know I am naturally a homosexual, but..

Postby Ultima527 » November 30th, 2011, 3:38 pm

There's more to love than immediate, sexual feelings. Please understand, I'm not trying to be cold towards homosexuality when I say these things.I've faced the possibility of being homosexual myself
It is my belief that homosexuality, as well as sexual feelings, is a disorder. This means that although it may not be a choice, you are not a slave to it either. The Bible supports having control over your own body; this applies even if your straight.

I think that the reason why people are so mad about us Christians (or in your case, catholic) being against homosexuality, or even just pre-marital sex, is that they can't figure out why it's wrong. Now, as believers, we should take God's word for it when he says that something is wrong, but that doesn't mean can't think about it. God has a good reason for everything, even if the world tells you otherwise. All that being said, here are my theories as to why sex outside of straight marriage is wrong:
1: The Bible says that "For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh." Sex is more that just an immediate, pleasurable physical function. It means you are giving your very self to the other person. You are becoming one with them. This is mostly against pre-marital sex, but in terms of homosexuality, you can't give yourself to the other person physically.
2: Like I said before (and please hear me out before going ballistic on me) homosexuality is a disorder. If you have a disorder that makes you want to kill people, does that make it okay? No. Satan wants to deceive you; he wants you to think that being with a woman, and disobeying God's word, is the only way. Don't give him a foothold. Friendship is a valuable thing; it is a gift from God. But today's culture will try to tell you that everything is about sex; therefore, if your feelings towards another woman are strong enough, it must be love. Please understand, I'm not implying that you aren't physically attracted to any woman, I'm just saying that you shouldn't believe people when they say that everything's about sex.
3: The Bible says that if we are saved, we can say no to sin. We can have self control. Self control is one of the fruits of the spirit.

Like I said before, I've...a lot of the time, I just don't find most women to be attractive. I've faced the possibility of being homosexual. But here's what I believe God has lead me to believe; even though my very body may tell me that I cannot go any other way, and that I must be a homosexual, I need to trust God that it's more than just immediate gratification; I need to trust God that, if it is his will, there is a girl out there who's gonna turn my world around, and that it's gonna start out on the emotional level, and not physical lust. That, when (or if, if that is God's will) I am married, and when I become one flesh with my wife, I'm not gonna wanna look back. All in all, we need to trust God when he says that we, not only should, but can wait on him.

Now, I've left my mark on these forums as the typical "angry conservative Christian." So everything I say might be immediately rendered invalid. I'll admit that the Bible says to be gentle, and graceful; to make my enemies ashamed to speak against me. This is something that I've admittedly failed to do. And even if I get it right, I won't say I've got all the answers.

But if you hear nothing else, hear this; turn to God. Trust him. God's not just gonna make you a homosexual so he can say, "I'd love to help you, but you're gay. Get out of my sight." God won't turn you down if you go to him; even if you don't immediately see the results. He loves you, even though you're not perfect (no one is). I can't say I'm right about everything; nobody gets it right immediately. But you can't go wrong if you honesty seek God in all this. Ask him to guide you. Whatever you decide to do, my prayers will be with you. God Bless!
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Re: I know I am naturally a homosexual, but..

Postby xkrazydog » November 30th, 2011, 4:13 pm

Umm Religion in my opinion is meant to be used a guideline/institute for morals, not an absolute belief (particularly now since we have proven sciences). Like any and all religious (and atheist) views you get varying spectrums of extremities. (with the bible being the same as a book on mythos) But religion isnt meant to be forced down your throat. Coercion has and always was considered a sin.

Your plight is saddening, but realistic. It's hard to not be accepted but at the same time many people aren't for different reasons.
But... one thing thats been bothering me is... You specify you aren't in highschool anymore but in college. You have a more open and mature pool of people... so this is your oppurtunity to learn and express yourself. ... basically your at the threshold of change right now. And you have the option to move on and become an adult and leave that isolation behind you and become a stronger "you".

Also try not to define yourself solely by sexuality. Just because its generally not accepted and isn't spoken outloud in your family/past/community doesn't mean they hate you specifically. They may not accept you fully but there's far worse situations you can be in (and i'm not saying atleast your not lynched!! but it seems that they see you as MORE than your sexuality so you should too). And if they arent willing to change for you, then I wouldnt try and coerce them into understanding, they've made their decision and you made yours.
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Re: I know I am naturally a homosexual, but..

Postby phoenixgem » November 30th, 2011, 4:19 pm

Hi, I'm a christian, I was born and raised christian. Recently a few people close to me have "come out" 3 of them chrisitan, and that got me thinking and reserching about the religious views on homosexuallity, especially since I also believed it wasn't a choice. Now this reserch is mainly internet and personal bible study based so don't take this as law, I migh be wrongabout all of this, but i urge you to do your own persona search and come to your own conclusions. anyway:
Frist and most importantly:
God loves us all regardless, He made us all the way we were, He does not make us thieves, killers, liars, our choices make us those things.
so if I believed that sexual orientaion wasn't a choice and we were born with it then god can't be against it right?
with that question I started my research into this, some of the few things that I gathered from my research (This is breif sorry):
-There are only a few verses in the bible related to homosexuality, 6 or 7 I think out of the millions of verses present. If homosexuality was so wrong wouldn't it have been mentioned more?
- When the bible was written there was no word for homosexual or homosexuality, it did not exsist. Therefore I am skeptical of any mention of the word homosexual in the bible and any other word being an acurate translation to homosexual, so the word "dogs" or "sodimaites" (Also Sodom is a PLACE so Sodimites=people that lived in Sodom, Sodimaites=/= Homosexuals, i never got how that was msinterpreted) that have been interperated as another word for homosexuals, I don't buy.
- Alot of the verses that where used to condem homosexuals are taken way out of context, beware of anyone who just quotes these verses without going into the verses around it.
Example: when paul in Romans 1:26 mentions that sex between 2 woman as unatural. taken out of context thats what you get from that verse, putting it back into context he was condeming the all of the sexual sins that these people were commiting, they were have sex with preist, prostitues, being adultrus and generally having "religious" orgies to their gods of fertility.
-This verse is used alot:
Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. -- Leviticus 18:22

But Levitcus was written 30,000 years ago, and has laws that, in this day are considered crazy (well not applicable), becuase they were written for people living thousands of years ago, who probably had little understanding of sexuality. if you apply that verse why not:
LEVITICUS 18:19 19 “‘Do not approach a woman to have sexual relations during the uncleanness of her monthly period.

I mean it's in the same chapter and everything! (Yes ok its abit gross, but i'm pretty sure you won't go to hell for it XD)

But I think the thing that cliched it for me was how the arguements against it were written and spoken, alot of those against homosexuality did not calmly state their arguments, they insulted and dehumanised homosexuals and that is not the christain way.(NOTE: not all, (I mean Ultima527 makes a compelling argument) but alot of the people i've come across)

TLDR: God loves you and always will, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. There are only a few mentions of homosexualitly in the bible, some not applicable in modern day. The bible can and will be misinterpreted and taken out of context, when homosexual acts are mentioned it is not condeming them per so as condeming adultry, premartial sex etc, please excuse the many spelling mistakes...

and I guess that's my two cents, without writting a 5 page essay (though I feel should really go into more detail this subject because it looks like i'm just spouting things without much backup and I apoligise for that), but please do you own reserch on this, see all angles, be open, and make your decsisions, and well, talk to God about it, seriously do it.

Good luck, and god bless =)
EDIT: wow that's alot of babble.....
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Re: I know I am naturally a homosexual, but..

Postby SuperBiasedMan » November 30th, 2011, 4:33 pm

Ultima527 wrote:There's more to love than immediate, sexual feelings. Please understand, I'm not trying to be cold towards homosexuality when I say these things.I've faced the possibility of being homosexual myself
It is my belief that homosexuality, as well as sexual feelings, is a disorder.


Homosexuality is about more than sex (despite the word) it can involve romantic, emotional and affectionate connections.
I wouldn't assume every straight relationship is devoid of any connection bar the sexual, and I know for fact that the same is true of homosexual relationships from personal experience of knowing homosexual people.
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Re: I know I am naturally a homosexual, but..

Postby CrippleCakes » November 30th, 2011, 4:35 pm

If that was the way you were born, stand proud and be glad you are who you are.
Some people like apples most while others like bananas most.
It's all just a matter of preference,
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Re: I know I am naturally a homosexual, but..

Postby corruption » December 1st, 2011, 2:47 am

One thing to remember about Christianity, and specifically about the Chatholic church is that it was formed as it is by the Roman empiror Constintine who got the leader of the Christians in Rome, and the leaders of other cults, put them in a room and told them they were not coming out until they worked out a single religous doctrine, with him retaining veteo rights.

Basicallly, the modern bible heavily edited in a lot of ways.

I believe that if there is a Just and Fair God, he will judge us by our deeds and our intents.

As to trying to follow your upbringing, here is my point of view; if you turn your back on the fact you are gay, and try to live a Hetro life, you will never be truely happy. You will always wonder about missed chances to find a guy you are interested in, and other things. If you are gay, then that can't be changed.


Just checked the Bible. Found a nice bit for you Matthew 19:16-19
Once a man came to Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what good thing must I do to recieve eternal life?"
"Why do you ask me concerning what is good?" answered Jesus. "Ther is only One who is good. Keep the commandments if you want to enter life."
"What commandments?" he asked.
Jesus answered, "Do not commit murder; do not commit adultery; do not steal; do not accuse anyone falsely; respect your father and your mother; and love your neighbor as you love yourself."

He said nothing about homosexuality there at all.

Where does Jesus condem homosexuality at all? The opinions of this disciples and the old testiment (in the parts where they talk about the laws to apply to the Isrealites) are the places I can think of it being condemed, but not from Jesus.
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