Friend bored with life, possibly suicidal?

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Friend bored with life, possibly suicidal?

Postby Guest » January 9th, 2012, 8:22 am

Last edited by Guest on May 24th, 2013, 1:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Re: Friend bored with life, possibly suicidal?

Postby xkrazydog » January 9th, 2012, 8:55 am

It's deffinitely attention and she's likely vying for yours now that her current friends are either limited to her access or she found out just how horrible they are but wont admit she made a bad decision by choosing them over you.
I would sit down and talk with her, tell her you gave all the suggestions you can and that you're done because you although you still worry about her, she's being overdramatic and isn't giving your suggestions and comfort the light of day (thus wasting your time).
And just because she says she wants to die doesnt mean she'll follow through with it. If she shows anymore signs its best to bring it up to her parents.
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Re: Friend bored with life, possibly suicidal?

Postby Jops » January 9th, 2012, 9:24 am

I had a friend who got trough a similar phase. Feeling terribly depressed about the uncertainty of her future ("what will i do with my life? What's the point of it? Is it just eat, work, sleep...?") and also having to deal with a very restrictive family.

For my friend i tried to insist in having her find a hobby because i thought that finding some way to express her creativity and, at the same time, distract herself would help with the not feeling bored. She used to be quite good at writing poems, i recommended her to get back to it. In the end she took a different way and started giving classes to kids in an orphanage... it still helped her feeling better with herself.
Going to live on her own and being financially independent from her family also contributed a lot with her well being (moms can be quite oppressive sometimes). This part, however, can be real difficult at her age.

In any case, I'd try to direct her into finding something to do, something she can feel involved in: be it social, hobby, sport... whatever. She probably has no idea of what she'd like, so she better be open to experiment. Try different things.
Remember that when someone is in a depressive mood it's very difficult to get them to be active and willing to do things. How to convince them to get up and quit moping depends on the person. Sometimes you have to put some pressure on them, sometimes you need to be super sweet. You know your friend better than me, i guess you may figure which is the best approach to use.

I also wouldn't rule out that this behavior is also, in part, a call for attention.
If she claims to feel lonely, it's likely to be the case. I know it was for my friend. Be supportive... that's all i can say about it.

Anyway, whatever approach you chose to take with her, i have to warn you, it probably won't be easy.
I'll be honest here. When i was dealing with my friend, i occasionally considered giving up. It was like trying to help someone who didn't want to be helped. It was frustrating and tiring. I kept up with her for about one year seeing no real progress: made me feel useless, powerless... like i was draining my strength fighting a hopeless battle. In the end, I think i put up with all that just because she really was my very best friend and I really didn't want to lose her. I'm not sure i would have done the same for someone else.

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