Helping a robbed and dumped friend

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Helping a robbed and dumped friend

Postby corruption » March 28th, 2012, 4:50 am

I know a guy who has recently been dumped and kicked out by his then girlfriend after she drained his bank account. I'm asking for advise I may be able to pass onto him.

Here is what I have done so far; Advised him not to attack her new boyfriend, who she had been having an affair with, but give him the benifit of the doubt in case she was lieing to him, telling him my friend was some kind of stalker or something, and to talk with him. After all, if the guy was being tricked, he deserves a warning about her, and if he did know, then he should be asked how can he trust the girl now?

Had him cancel any accounts for things in his name she was using, like a phone account. Had him call in his bank card as lost so she can't use it to run up debts (she had already swipped the savings in it after taking the card.)

When he went back to get his stuff from the place they were leasing, to make sure he did not go alone, and that he had a witness that the courts would believe, after getting legal advice. The tenancy agreement is in both their names so he can't be charged with tresspassing. I also told him to leave anything that did not clearly belong to him, and only take things like his tools, legal paperwork, clothes and such things. Anything she could claim was hers was left. He does not care too much about that stuff and would rather avoid the problems caused by trying to take it.

He has notified the landlord, so he will not be chased up for any unpaid rent in thee future.

I also told him to notify people who may be sending him important mail to send it to some place he can get it.

Lastly I told him NOT to react angrily to her as she may be trying to provoke him into something he can be charged for.

Any other advice I can give him would be welcome.
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Re: Helping a robbed and dumped friend

Postby Augmented » March 28th, 2012, 5:18 am

He sounds incredibly beta, and probably deserved it.
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Re: Helping a robbed and dumped friend

Postby Jops » March 28th, 2012, 6:43 am

Augmented wrote:He sounds incredibly beta, and probably deserved it.

You seem to be incredibly quick at judging people.


@Corruption
I think you gave him the right advices.
I wouldn't have anything to add other than focusing on trying to rebuild his finances and move on.
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Re: Helping a robbed and dumped friend

Postby Cave » March 28th, 2012, 9:20 am

Augmented wrote:He sounds incredibly beta, and probably deserved it.


After looking at your profile and seeing you're just a troll. Looking forward to you getting banned soon. o.O

Also, sorry to hear that happened. Crap like that has happened to one of my friends before. It was pretty horrible. :( Sounds like he's on the right track though.
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Re: Helping a robbed and dumped friend

Postby Nikkinoodles » March 28th, 2012, 2:18 pm

You've definately put him on the right track with the advice so far. I'd suggest that for ANY interaction that he has with her there should be someone there, just to act as witness should this woman claim he attacked her, verbally or otherwise. The talk with the other guy might be a good idea, especially if he's got a friend to back him up. If this new guy doesn't know what she's done there's a chance she'll do it again so he deserves a warning. Your friend shouldn't try to make it too personal though, just have him lay out the facts and try and keep any emotion out of it. That should stop any possibility of Angry-Ex-Syndrome, where the guy thinks your friend is just jealous and wants to ruin her life.


Hearing about this makes me sad to be female though, these kinds of actions really enforce the negative gold digging stereotype some people have of women.
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Re: Helping a robbed and dumped friend

Postby Augmented » March 29th, 2012, 2:02 am

Cave wrote:
Augmented wrote:He sounds incredibly beta, and probably deserved it.


After looking at your profile and seeing you're just a troll. Looking forward to you getting banned soon. o.O

Also, sorry to hear that happened. Crap like that has happened to one of my friends before. It was pretty horrible. :( Sounds like he's on the right track though.

The fact that you would derive pleasure from me being banned is really quite strange, especially since I simply made an observation about the man in this story.
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Re: Helping a robbed and dumped friend

Postby Nikkinoodles » March 29th, 2012, 4:18 am

Augmented wrote:
Cave wrote:
Augmented wrote:He sounds incredibly beta, and probably deserved it.


After looking at your profile and seeing you're just a troll. Looking forward to you getting banned soon. o.O

Also, sorry to hear that happened. Crap like that has happened to one of my friends before. It was pretty horrible. :( Sounds like he's on the right track though.

The fact that you would derive pleasure from me being banned is really quite strange, especially since I simply made an observation about the man in this story.


Augmented wrote:He sounds incredibly beta, and probably deserved it.

Augmented wrote:He sounds incredibly beta, and probably deserved it.

Augmented wrote:He sounds incredibly beta, and probably deserved it.


You said someone probably deserved to have all their money stolen! How else would that be taken other than trolling? The Life Issues forum is a place where people can come to talk about their problems, get advice and just generally get it off their chest. It says in the forum rules, which I know show up even when replying to threads because I'm looking at them right now,
Forum rules
Due to the often sensitive nature of the discussions occurring in Life Issues, we ask that you be particularly considerate and respectful toward posters here. Violation of this request will be considered a violation of the rules.

Either you be supportive in your posts on this part of the forum or you don't post. It's as simple as that. Your attitude would be considered a violation, it wasn't considerate and it sure as hell wasn't respectful. It was also a deeply unpleasant thing to say. No one deserves to be screwed over in the way corruption outlined and your attitude towards the guy, who incidentally you don't ever know, was downright rude. I know it pissed me off (excuse my french) it probably pissed corruption off, and it definately annoyed Cave and Jops.


@corruption: I hope everyone else's advice is helping your friend.
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Re: Helping a robbed and dumped friend

Postby corruption » March 30th, 2012, 10:55 pm

Nikkinoodles wrote:@corruption: I hope everyone else's advice is helping your friend.


So far everyone worth paying attention to has been supportive.

He is trying to just stablizing things at the moment before he starts to look at repairing his finances, and he doesn't have the time or money to go out much.

One other thing happened; I told him to get a tenency agreement from his stepfather, who he is living with, so he can use it to change where places, like banks, send his mail.

At the very least, I hope my posting here can help others who find themselves, or friends, in a similiar situation.

Oh, and please don't bother trying to tell Augmented off. There is no need to to let him try to draw attention to himself and away from the matter at hand. I know he is just acting out in order to annoy people, and your responses are what such as he wants.
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