Let's Vent

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Re: Let's Vent

Postby Seven Rain » October 14th, 2018, 11:21 am

I just. I gotta. I gotta vent. Let me scream at my keyboard with my fingers for a second.
Spoiler! :
I know that not many comic artists update a lot. I know it's not expected of any of us to update a lot. I know I shouldn't beat myself up for not updating a lot, especially when it can bring other artists down who don't update a lot, but please understand that it's a feeling I can't fight off. I don't have adult responsibilities and a life like everyone else. I'm a piece of shit and my art is all I cling to in a desperate attempt to feel like my life is going somewhere.
Instead of my day being filled with work and adult life that keeps me from updating, it's nothing but a big invisible wall of bullshit. There's nothing stopping me from working on my comic all day every day, and it's not even games distracting me, it's like my brain looks for things to do instead, even if it's just refreshing websites over and over again. It's filling me with despair that I've gone from updating every few days to updating every couple of weeks. I entertained thoughts of finishing this chapter by the end of 2018 but there's NOOOOO fucking way now.
I want to make it stop, I want to care, I want to work hard, but I can't figure out how to return to the way I was when I was updating all the time. Just. Fuck. Where's the miracle drug that makes me want to work and stop literally dragging myself away from what I know I want and need to do? I don't want to be 40 before I finish WOE. I don't want to be 60 before I finish The BJC or G8. I don't want to die before finishing all of these things that are so important to me, but no matter what I tell myself I can't focus.
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Re: Let's Vent

Postby eishiya » October 14th, 2018, 11:30 am

Seven Rain wrote:I just. I gotta. I gotta vent. Let me scream at my keyboard with my fingers for a second.
[snip]

I know it's not helpful to you, but fffffukken same. I manage to update with decent regularity, but I have way more time available! I want to use that time for comics, but my brain keeps dragging me away to do other things, mostly involving doing nothing except staring into space or scrolling on Twitter. My goal was to do 2-3 pages a week, and update 1-2 pages, and have my comic done ahead of time, so that I could get a head start on my next project. Instead, I do each week's page the day before the deadline or even morning of, even though I have many other days available during the week to do way more work. And the work is fun, so why the hell won't my brain let me do it?
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Re: Let's Vent

Postby mitchellbravo » October 14th, 2018, 7:33 pm

S-R and eishiya-
Every time I get a scene done my brain gets on this like endorphin lift of "OMG you're back! You're going to do this regularly again now, like the good old days!" and then for like a week or two I work on the next scene and then I get waylaid and don't finish it in any reasonable time. It's frustrating. Most of the people who used to regularly read or comment on my comic are long gone, and I didn't update consistently enough for it to be something they still check for anyway- let alone consistently enough for new readers to latch on.
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Re: Let's Vent

Postby Seven Rain » October 14th, 2018, 9:06 pm

eishiya wrote:
Seven Rain wrote:I just. I gotta. I gotta vent. Let me scream at my keyboard with my fingers for a second.
[snip]

I know it's not helpful to you, but fffffukken same.

Honestly it helps a lot more than you'd think. Some feelings and bad moods I feel silly for having or sharing and people usually try to extend a hand to help or talk but oddly enough it lifts my spirits a bit knowing that y'all share this with me right now. I can't blame depression for once so I have no idea where this lazy slump of mine came from, but sharing the struggle helps ease the pain a bit, somehow.
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Re: Let's Vent

Postby Paulie Blade » October 15th, 2018, 9:13 am

mitchellbravo wrote:Most of the people who used to regularly read or comment on my comic are long gone, and I didn't update consistently enough for it to be something they still check for anyway- let alone consistently enough for new readers to latch on.

I'm kind of the opposite. After the first two years of very inconsistent updates I managed to set a pattern of releasing one page a week. Perhaps not a very fast rate, but it's WAY better than a year or two ago. And somehow my readership disappeared at the same time :o I don't know if the quality of my comic declined, but I went from SOME recognition back to zero. I'm losing subscribers, I'm not getting any comments/likes/faves. I know it's not what I'm supposed to be aiming for but it really makes you think...
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Re: Let's Vent

Postby JoKeR » October 19th, 2018, 5:29 pm

Got a new job and after the second week ...I CAUGHT A FUCKING COLD!! With everything included even the kitchen sink.
Can't got to work, can't make the comic... all I can do is sitting in front of my PC and read and sometimes fall asleep.

I HATE THIS FUCKING COLD! WHY NOW??!!!

I have to keep this job. I don't want to lose it again just because I caught the mother load of all colds since years.

GAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
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Re: Let's Vent

Postby Zin Trollborn » November 2nd, 2018, 4:51 am

JoKeR wrote:Got a new job and after the second week ...I CAUGHT A FUCKING COLD!! With everything included even the kitchen sink.
Can't got to work, can't make the comic... all I can do is sitting in front of my PC and read and sometimes fall asleep.

I HATE THIS FUCKING COLD! WHY NOW??!!!

I have to keep this job. I don't want to lose it again just because I caught the mother load of all colds since years.

GAAAAAAHHHH!!!!



Aww take care, if you need to sleep, just listen to your body and sleep! And get vitamins or stuff.

Well i'm saying that but....I'm starting a new job in few days and guess what. FUCKING CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROM KICKIN' IN. Can't even work on comic, can't even play video games and can't even sleep to pass time because all what I think about is the time lost at doing nothing because of this stupid weak hand of mine. Can't even appreciate to look at movies or series or cute animal videos because I'm so pissed about the whole situation.
I'll probably go roll down on the carpet.
And swear about life and stuff.
Just a comic banner down here.
Spoiler! :
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Re: Let's Vent

Postby UrbanMysticDee » November 2nd, 2018, 9:47 pm

Damn these bodies. I can only listen to one song at a time. I want to listen to like 50 songs right now.
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Re: Let's Vent

Postby mitchellbravo » November 3rd, 2018, 5:48 pm

I want to stay up late and do all the things i used to stay up late doing. But my old ass is breaking down and I'm going to be in bed by 9:30 at the latest I'm sure.


On the bright side.... it's earlier than I thought it was.
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Re: Let's Vent

Postby TheJGamer » November 3rd, 2018, 8:07 pm

I have two essays, a History test, a math quiz, a vocab quiz, and two assignments all due Monday. And if that wasn't enough, conferences (as well as my birthday) are next week, adding on to the stress and pressure of being a good student and getting (and keeping) my grades up. It's going to be just another friggin long, sleepless night, isn't it?

While I have all A's now, I seriously can't afford to blow it and let them spiral down. It's going to be a crap-ton of work and I'm sure it will all be worth it in the end, but for now, I'm on the verge of losing control of balancing being a student and living a life of a fifteen-year-old child who just wants to have fun and have a good, stress-free life.
Just some kid who likes to draw and sprite. Thinking of starting a comic and actually sticking with it.
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Re: Let's Vent

Postby Zin Trollborn » November 6th, 2018, 2:09 pm

Aaaaaannnnnd here we are.... I had to put my comic in hiatus.
Life get too busy this month, I end my days too exhausted to draw as much as I want.
I feel so frustrated and defeated *lies down end pretend to be a carrot*
Just a comic banner down here.
Spoiler! :
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Re: Let's Vent

Postby Seven Rain » November 6th, 2018, 4:52 pm

I hate politics. I hate social media. I hate people.
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Re: Let's Vent

Postby mitchellbravo » November 10th, 2018, 2:39 pm

TheJGamer wrote:I have two essays, a History test, a math quiz, a vocab quiz, and two assignments all due Monday. And if that wasn't enough, conferences (as well as my birthday) are next week, adding on to the stress and pressure of being a good student and getting (and keeping) my grades up. It's going to be just another friggin long, sleepless night, isn't it?

While I have all A's now, I seriously can't afford to blow it and let them spiral down. It's going to be a crap-ton of work and I'm sure it will all be worth it in the end, but for now, I'm on the verge of losing control of balancing being a student and living a life of a fifteen-year-old child who just wants to have fun and have a good, stress-free life.

Good for you for sticking to it. You're a lot more motivated than I was at your age and that's what's going to make you successful as an adult.

That said, make sure to enjoy this part of your life as well. Prioritize what things really need to get done, or need your full devoted attention, and be sure to spend time hanging out and doing dumb shit you're only allowed to do when you're a teenager.

(Re: the dumb shit- I don't even mean like partying or getting in trouble or anything like that. If you want to take a day where you spend 8 straight hours playing a stupid game and only taking a break to go to the bathroom this is your optimal time. If you want to stay up 24 hours straight to do the 24 hour comic challenge this is your optimal time.)
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Re: Let's Vent

Postby Seven Rain » November 18th, 2018, 7:32 pm

Nothing I love more than waking up optimistic and motivated and then getting reminded that most of your closest family members secretly resent you and collapsing on the couch trying not to cry because everyone's been ripping you apart over everything. Maybe I can reach an emotional threshold and my feelings will crash like a computer process and I'll be able to get one of the many things I planned on doing tonight done.

*EDIT*
For every shitty hurtful person in my life there's another who that actually makes me feel like a person and helps keep me from falling further into the abyss. I take them for granted.
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Re: Let's Vent

Postby JoKeR » November 20th, 2018, 3:53 am

Seven Rain wrote:Nothing I love more than waking up optimistic and motivated and then getting reminded that most of your closest family members secretly resent you and collapsing on the couch trying not to cry because everyone's been ripping you apart over everything. Maybe I can reach an emotional threshold and my feelings will crash like a computer process and I'll be able to get one of the many things I planned on doing tonight done.

*EDIT*
For every shitty hurtful person in my life there's another who that actually makes me feel like a person and helps keep me from falling further into the abyss. I take them for granted.

Are you ok buddy? If you feel like talking to someone, you know how to contact me.
I'm just a guy on the internet but I'm a good listener... I suppose. ;)
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