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Postby PokemonTrainerPatrick » March 7th, 2011, 5:39 pm

Okay, I have a problem. I really only have one friend I see all the time, and now he's being immature and poking/pinching me whenever something happens, (ex: he got some info mixed up about a test, so he poked me in the back with the point of a pencil)
"Because it's all your fault, always. It's also fun."
While I know I shouldn't even hang out with him because of this, including him I have 4 real-life friends, and the other 3 don't really count as I barely see them. I don't like my other classmates, as they're either girly girls, jocks, or too mentally ill to socialize with.

If I end the friendship, I'd have nobody to talk to, and I'd be even lonelier during the day.
If I let it keep going, I'd have someone to talk to, but this would continue to happen.

Could you help me decide what I should do? (If it helps at all, I'm Phlegmatic/Melancholic, and I think he's either Melancholic/Phlegmatic or Sanguine)
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Re: Friends?

Postby eishiya » March 7th, 2011, 6:08 pm

Sit him down and tell him that you dislike the poking, and that you cannot continue to do things with him if he doesn't respect your personal space/wishes. If he refuses, then stop talking to him.
It'll be lonely, but you'll make new friends. You're only 12 (according to your profile, anyway), you'll have plenty of opportunities in the coming few years.
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Re: Friends?

Postby corruption » March 8th, 2011, 3:11 am

On the subject of friends I can't say much as I never had one. Aquantences I get along with were the most, and they were not at school.

I can't advise you on how to save a friendship or form new ones, but I can advise you on how to cope without one. However, a friendship should never be lightly discarded. Talk with him, and see why he has started to blame you. He may be having problems and need to emotionally shift blame from himself to someone else so he doesn't have to deal with it himself.

In a way I am considered insane. I look at things from strange points of view. Most people follow the rules of what is socially acceptable. Without having friends I had nothing to lose and could explore who I was without having to worry about what they will think of me.

Look at yourself, and ask yourself "Am I who I want to be? Do I do what I want to? What are my personnel interests?" Look around at different things, see what catches your eye, and you may find other people interested in it as well. If you do, try to get to know them.

One last piece of advise that comes from Shakespear's play the Merchant of Venice; "To thy own self be true."
We are all corrupt in our own ways
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Re: Friends?

Postby Gibson Twist » March 9th, 2011, 1:50 pm

Friends are great, but they owe you exactly as much respect as you owe them, and if they aren't giving you what you think you deserve and don't care when you tell them they're being a jackass, it's time to revoke the contract. Like eishiya said, you'll make new friends. I know it's hard and might seem impossible right now, but take it from someone who spent his whole life moving around and having to make new friends all the time, it'll happen.

Trust me, this is how it is for a lot of people, you aren't as alone as you think.
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Re: Friends?

Postby Alexis_Royce » March 12th, 2011, 10:06 am

Keep telling him to stop; he may not think you're totally serious about it, or it might be just a habit. And if you phrase it like a short reminder ("Hey, I'm not the touchy-feely kind, remember?"), then you don't have to feel so confrontational. Some people just need a little more time to change, but if you can make it very clear, then he should have a chance. Of course you should end the friendship if it's entering abuse territory, but if he's really your friend, then he deserves a little time, just like you deserve your space.

Of course, if you've already been telling him over and over for a couple weeks, it's definitely serious talk time.
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Re: Friends?

Postby ejcoletta » March 19th, 2011, 8:02 am

You'll make other friends in the future. Its time to set your boundaries. You're supposed to be friends, not someone's side-kick or punchline. If there isn't mutual respect, there isn't a real friendship. Fake friends are way worse than no friends.
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Re: Friends?

Postby ThatGuyNash » March 19th, 2011, 1:52 pm

I recommend you get away from this person as soon as possible, they don't sound like their a very good (or healthy) friend. You should join a club or something at your school, something that pertains to your interests. You'll definitely meet some people you have stuff in common with, and you can start making real friends.
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