ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

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ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby FlamingDbag » March 12th, 2011, 8:24 am

Ok, because every time I look at the life issues board and start reading a topic on here I instantly think "TL;DR" I'll try to make this short.

Also this is more love teen bs, just to warn you, READER. But least I only have 2 years of highschool left, and I turn 17 this year. THERE'S A POINT TO THIS.


I am now a senor student this year, and everyone is too and it's term 1 (Australia)
There is a new girl who has joined the school and she's in at least two of my classes (I think she's in one of my others, but I'm not sure), I thought looked nice when I first saw her and ect, but I didn't think I would ever talk to her because regardless her personality she looked out of my league, and I would of been fine to accept that.


But one day (monday or tuesday on the week of the start of this month) (Also keep in mind this all happened in two weeks, this would be in week 1) she decides to hang out with my friends standing by her own friends, and she was standing about 7 meters away from me. (don't know if that... actually makes any difference but anyway.) I said nothing to her and she said nothing to me, but I payed attention to what she said to the group and she probably did the same with me too.

Then I think the next day in homegroup/mentor period she randomly came up to me and asks if "we're buddies, right?". I awkwardly stretched out the words "I guess so" while looking around the room. (Come on I hardly know her anyway...) then went back to her small group of friends, sort of sounding like she was saying that "I didn't seem bad" as her friend thought (I wasn't really paying attention to what they were saying though.)

then either the next day or after 2 days or whatever, she decided to sit between me and one of my friends that she's already talked a decent amount to. She doesn't say a word to me, or even him, and I also said nothing to her or anyone and I more like sit there in nervous pain but...
Then the bell goes, and she asks if we were in the room we were already in or not (our mentor teacher is our english teacher, and there's a day where we don't move rooms.) and I said no and checked my time table just to make sure I was right, and said no again. Then out of nowhere, I slipped out "I have no idea why they can't stick to the same room, it's stupid". And she replies with "Yeah".

But then in the English class SHE LOOKED LIKE SHE WAS ABOUT TO CRY THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE THING. I didn't talk to her to the rest of the day but shit I don't want her to cry over that either, doesn't matter if I actually cared that much or not. The only thing I could imagine being able to do to help try to not make her cry was managing to find her on facebook and adding her, and she accepted.

I've already started to try to talk to her on her statuses and ect, and now in Visual Communication classes I now sit around where she does, so it gives some ease of.... stuff. Again though WHY THE HELL DOES SHE MAKE ME SO NERVOUS I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER OR EVEN FULLY KNOW WHAT SHE'S TRYING TO DO WITH ME WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN-

She's asked my friend "What games do you guys play" once before with me next to him on her table before I started committing myself to sit on that table in that class from now on (We had to sit there once because all the tables were full.) with the following line of what console we play. I was talking to the teacher about being away the next day then she just suddenly interrupts me right in the middle talking to the teacher, asking me the same question, with the same words. And my friend was helping me answer her questions while I go "UHHH, UMM, ERRR." and only mumbling out like 2 words throughout that whole thing. But then she let me keep talking to the teacher randomly and I had to smirk and smile SHE SEEMED SO NERVOUS AND DESPERATE TO TALK TO ME, AND SHE HAS THE LOOKS THAT COULD ALLOW TO TRY TO GET WITH ANYONE EASILY WHILE I LOOK LIKE A TYPICAL LONER WHO PREFERS TO STAY THAT WAY, THAT I LITERALLY THOUGHT IT WAS ADORABLE. I CANNOT BELIEVE I WOULD EVER THINK THAT ABOUT A PERSON.

Since then though, she hasn't said much to me when I comment on her statuses on her facebook (at least though shes "liking" most of the things I write when she doesn't give any other reply) and we haven't talked directly face to face, but I managed to get her to talk with my group of friends again, me actually talking to them included to help us try to talk to each other. (The fact she wasn't here until Friday this week though didn't help with me trying to figure her out, or attempt to start stop being a WIMP and try to make decent, non-awkward conversation.)


So finally... she could either be nervous trying to fit into with everyone and she just finds me difficult to interact with... Which if I find out it's just that sometime soon, I'm cool with it because she'll be a cool friend anyway...
Or she actually likes me, for whatever reason not like I would even begin to know why, and she's a bit silly thinking that she has no chance on me at all. I'm not joking, for a start I'm not really into this whole sort of thing EVEN THOUGH SHE HAS NOW MANAGED TO MAKE ME WANT TO BREAK A WALL WITH MY HEAD BECAUSE I'M FELLING TENSE ABOUT NOT KNOWING WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING PRETTY MUCH ALL THE TIME WHEN I'M CONSCIOUS NOW.

Also, it's still only been 2 weeks, 1 week and a day of which I've only started getting to know her at school, and I don't know her very well but judging her so far SHE'S PRETTY DAMN COOL.


This sounds kind of stupid but I feel like I'm holding gold here, it would be stupid to not at least try to do anything with it.
Also I FAILED TO BRIEF THIS SHORT. THIS IS LIKE THE LONGEST POST I'VE SEEN ON THIS BOARD ACTUALLY...

I'll explain myself better if you're confused with anything, it's just really bugging me to the point where I'm asking myself "WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOOOIING..." so I want to just get help. Thanks for reading, too.

edit: Also I'm tired, I'm bound to have said something wrong, even though I've read over this.
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby Mr Aids » March 12th, 2011, 8:34 am

TL;DR

But she sounds like she wants to get to know you better, and you can't be just a wall, only giving her basic answers to her questions. Engage in some conversation, ask her about her interests like music, TV, video games (she seems to play them from what you've said). Failing to do this will either get you friend zoned or she could might not even stay as your friend at all.

Spoiler! :
Also get a haircut.
kevansevans wrote:
robybang wrote:Also, it's the internet, people always argue over dumb stuff.

Nuh uh
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby Guest » March 12th, 2011, 8:35 am

Lets see if I got this straight...
There's a new girl you like and the two of you are awkward around each other. You believe you know why you are but uncertain of her and she seems to interact with the rest of your friends without much problem and you are wondering if you should make a move and ask her out?
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby FlamingDbag » March 12th, 2011, 8:47 am

Mr Aids wrote:TL;DR

But she sounds like she wants to get to know you better, and you can't be just a wall, only giving her basic answers to her questions. Engage in some conversation, ask her about her interests like music, TV, video games (she seems to play them from what you've said). Failing to do this will either get you friend zoned or she could might not even stay as your friend at all.

Spoiler! :
Also get a haircut.

I know that, and I don't want to be a wimp and do most of it over facebook either, I need to actually SPEAK to her. (I have not used the actual chat thing with her, yet.)
Again though, fucking nerves...
With games though, I get a feeling she's only doing that because she has no idea what else to say. I don't want the first conversation to be about that unless she actually wants to talk about it, you've seen my wall it's already obvious enough I like games, I don't want her thinking that it's literally the only thing I do or care about ever.
Spoiler! :
AND I FORGOT TODAY SO I CAN'T GET ONE UNTIL DURING THE WEEK FUUUUU-

Blue-Senoire wrote:Lets see if I got this straight...
There's a new girl you like and the two of you are awkward around each other. You believe you know why you are but uncertain of her and she seems to interact with the rest of your friends without much problem and you are wondering if you should make a move and ask her out?

Considering it's only been two weeks and I don't know her nearly enough, I wouldn't do that like tomorrow (as much as I want to...) but PRETTY MUCH.

Also I expected to have to wait tomorrow for answers like I usually do with replies to any other topic on here, so thanks for being so quick to reply.
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby Mr Aids » March 12th, 2011, 8:51 am

FlamingDbag wrote:I know that, and I don't want to be a wimp and do most of it over facebook either, I need to actually SPEAK to her.
Again though, fucking nerves...


Shall I get you a drink to calm your nerves?

This can't possibly go wrong. It's the best plan ever.

And I didn't mean to talk to her over FB, I meant in person, at school. Most people will get nervous when talking to a girl they like, it's natural. Just do your best around her and you'll be fine.
kevansevans wrote:
robybang wrote:Also, it's the internet, people always argue over dumb stuff.

Nuh uh
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby FlamingDbag » March 12th, 2011, 9:04 am

Mr Aids wrote:
FlamingDbag wrote:I know that, and I don't want to be a wimp and do most of it over facebook either, I need to actually SPEAK to her.
Again though, fucking nerves...


Shall I get you a drink to calm your nerves?

This can't possibly go wrong. It's the best plan ever.

And I didn't mean to talk to her over FB, I meant in person, at school. Most people will get nervous when talking to a girl they like, it's natural. Just do your best around her and you'll be fine.


Well I'll try harder then, also I hate it when my friends try to jump into things too though, I'm afraid they'll interrupt too much or jump onto where I'm trying to get at. I also don't know when the best possible time would be to actually talk to her, she didn't hang out with me and my friends again other then that one time, but she might again since I've already started slowly trying to reach out to her I have no idea.

I'm seriously trying to kill at least enough of the nervousness so the actual talking doesn't feel so...

Ok when I sit around her I feel like a statue as well as have the obvious stuff when a person is nervous. I get into a state where "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" is going through my head.


Also I might note she seems to also have some difficulty looking at me. I think.

I'm not 100% sure what you meant by best plan ever though... I'm tired and I'm probably going to get some sort of headache at the very least at the rate I'm going with thinking about stuff...
edit:
FlamingDbag wrote:(I have not used the actual chat thing with her, yet.)
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby Alexis_Royce » March 12th, 2011, 9:57 am

Check and see what's playing at the movie theaters by you. Next time she's hanging out with you and your friends, mention a couple films that you think everyone might want to catch, and see if you can just get a group together, her included. That way, the pressure won't be like a date, but you could sit next to her in the theater or something, and it'll give you a chance to spend some time around her without having to talk too much. But best of all, whether the movie's good or bad, it'll give you a ready-made conversation starter for later. And if things don't work out, then you still haven't made any feelings public. After all, it was just a group occasion, right? ^_^
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby FlamingDbag » March 12th, 2011, 6:55 pm

Alexis_Royce wrote:Check and see what's playing at the movie theaters by you. Next time she's hanging out with you and your friends, mention a couple films that you think everyone might want to catch, and see if you can just get a group together, her included. That way, the pressure won't be like a date, but you could sit next to her in the theater or something, and it'll give you a chance to spend some time around her without having to talk too much. But best of all, whether the movie's good or bad, it'll give you a ready-made conversation starter for later. And if things don't work out, then you still haven't made any feelings public. After all, it was just a group occasion, right? ^_^


I've actually thought of that but you've helped set that idea out a lot quicker for me...

I need to wait a school day or two to see stuff before I can find a good time to do that though, but it's definitely something to consider.

edit: I fucking finally stopped thinking too much about it, by simply hammering into my head STOP THINKING ABOUT WHAT HAS HAPPENED.
GOOD. Seriously it was consuming me.
Actually that thought of mind would also help me talk to her too...
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby corruption » March 13th, 2011, 1:30 am

Talk with her about things you both like at first, and move on from there.

The two of you may get on well with each other, or just turn out to be freinds. You may also turn out to have strongly opposing views on things you both consider important, and may end up not getting on well with each other. However, not trying to get to know her is something you will regret.

The worst regrets people have are most often not what they did, but what they did not do. It gnaws on their minds, and they think over and over about the "what if's", and "if only's" of their lives.
We are all corrupt in our own ways
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby Gibson Twist » March 13th, 2011, 2:29 am

I stopped reading this about halfway through, but I think I got the gist, despite your flagrant overuse of parentheses. She's cute and being friendly and you think you're dogshit and it's freaking you out. Alright, here is something I wish someone had explained to me when I was in high school that would have made shit so much easier.

Girls aren't important.

We guys spend a ridiculous amount of time thinking about girls and women and hot women and how we can trick them into touching our penises. We think and overthink and twist ourselves into neurotic jelly rolls about it. Whether you're good looking or not, whether you're successful with women or not, whether you have a lot of female friends or not, chances are pretty good you think about women A LOT.

Here's the secret, though, they don't spend nearly that much time thinking about us. Why not? Because they know they can have us. Our crime is that we buy into it, we accept that women have all the power when it comes to dating and that we're the ones who have to ask them out and all of that. The truth that they don't want us to know is that they want us just as bad as we want them. No fooling, they want us just as bad.

You think a girl's out of your league? She's not, no girl is, there is no such thing as leagues. The number of assface-ugly guys I've known with ridiculously good-looking women next to them would make your balls shake, because when it comes right down to it, what we all want is someone to make us smile. Sense of humour, and I am living proof because I have been with some very fine women, is gold. Intelligence in general is a pretty strong aphrodisiac, as long as you're not shoving it down her face.

Don't get me wrong, when women see a good-looking guy, they go just as boner-eyed as we do when we see a good-looking woman, but that's just the aesthetics. When it all comes down, the only people that make their dating decisions based solely on looks are complete and total assholes and shitty, shitty people.

Now, this is all just to point out that you should chill out when it comes to women and your chances with them, not to mention how important it is. If you stop taking it seriously, the idea that being in a relationship is some kind of necessary rite of passage, the more you can relax about dating in general. You know what makes people cool is when they don't really give a shit, so stop giving a shit. I'm not saying act like you don't care, that's just being a dick, but if you can get yourself to a place where you don't worry whether a girl likes you or not, that's the sweet spot.

No one is saying you shouldn't want to be with a woman, or even a certain woman, just don't put a lot of importance on it and don't overthink it. If there's one thing I got from your first post is that you are WAY overthinking this shit. Be content with whatever way it turns out because, even if this girl doesn't like you, there's another girl that will. No one is so troll-like that no woman or man will have them, I promise you this absolutely.

Remember this line... If you want to hang out, that's cool. If not, that's cool too.

And for the love of god, don't pine after her if she rejects you. No one is worth that shit.
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby FlamingDbag » March 13th, 2011, 3:20 am

I'm getting way better responses then I expected, thanks guys, a lot.
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby Botan » March 13th, 2011, 3:33 am

I was reading Gibson Twist's and my opinion soo changed! He's so right, I can't put it into words.
I agree with most that he has said, but still there are girls that think about boys as much as boys think about girls (no I'm not one of them), and it is true that a more "relaxed" approach is better, but then I start thinking, is that really still love, or just waiting to see if she takes the bait and likes you/makes a move because you look very confident, relaxed, and almost like you don't care? (and she's becoming impatient and worry that you won't talk to her anymore one day)
Uh, no, I probably misinterpreted Gibson's post after I started forgetting what he wrote, so, here's my point: You have to calm down, stop overreacting, but IF you want to SHOW her that you have some feelings for her, or maybe just that you want to become good friends, do it in a subtle way, such as a smile whenever the occasion shows up, a pat on the back when she's discouraged, walking with her, for example, if you meet inside the school and you're going in the same direction (even if the destination is not the same-and do that while chatting), recommend her some books, games, manga or anime (if she likes those) you liked, and if you have them, don't just recommend them, tell her that you can lend them to her if she'd like. (but don't force them down her throat). Oh, by the way, it seems now that what I have said would make you serious and "hard-working" into making her your friend/lover, but don't take it that way. Those were just some examples. It meant you have to interact more.
Everything starts with knowing someone. I, for example, went to a contest some time ago, met there a girl that was introduces to us (the others that were in that room) by her teacher (she didn't introduce herself), and because she seemed to know one of the girls I came with from my town (we are from different places-not far though), I told myself it wasn't my place to really make friends with her. But then I saw her drawing something, and I was drawing manga, and when I saw her drawing, I told her that I like it very much, and showed mine. We discovered we were both anime/manga fans, and from there on, we talked all day long. And not only about manga, but more about our past and funny happenings in our lives. ===> if you find a good starting topic, and talk "enough", you might find out the many things you have in common, and even after just a day, if you advanced enough in your conversation, you'll feel you've made a big accomplishment for your friendship.
Ugh..i really forgot what I wanted to say, but here's my opinion: after all thinking and trying, the conclusion is that you don't make a friend trying to, but instead, you realize one day that you're already friends. I, personally, never asked one of my friends "we're friends, right?" We just talk with each other, and go out together (well I'm not one to talk, I don't have many friends, it's otherwise, I have very few friends, and my friendships were somehow connected with school - in kindergarten I met a girl and we started playing outside a lot and I went to her house a lot. In elementary school I played with another girl a lot, and then in like 5th grade another girl showed up, and in 7th grade a girl that moved form my school came back and I started talking a lot with the two last girls and my sister), and we're still going out together sometimes (because we all don't really go out, but we're very good friends), and I'm already 11th grade, so yeah, our relationship lasted long. But even the other two (first)girls are still my friends, even though we just talk rarely and say few things to eachother.
Urgh..I did it again..I forgot what I wanted to say..
WELL, to make it short, you can ask her anytime if she wants to be friends with you, talk with her and go outside but not in places like movies etc etc, that's, in my opinion, a little like "we go out to look cool while going in bars, drinking eating and spending much money. Play cards, wander around the city doing nothing, play some sports..AS WELL (don't give up hanging out because I said so)

Good luck and please tell us the end of the story.
I don't really understand complicated emotions and relationships, sorry...

PS Just forget my post after you read it.
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby Gibson Twist » March 13th, 2011, 4:32 am

Botan wrote:there are girls that think about boys as much as boys think about girls


No, this is true. My terms were general, but there are a lot of girls who sweat this stuff just as much as guys, and the calming down idea works just as much, if not more, for them. I should have mentioned that, thank you for pointing it out.

Botan wrote:it is true that a more "relaxed" approach is better, but then I start thinking, is that really still love, or just waiting to see if she takes the bait and likes you/makes a move because you look very confident, relaxed, and almost like you don't care?


I didn't mean to give the impression I was putting this out there as a way to pick up girls, and I really didn't mean to say that anyone should ACT like they don't care or be an aloof asshole. I meant to say that folks should genuinely chill out and stop being so concerned with this sort of thing, more for your own state of mind than because it will win you dates. Generally speaking, it will, but if you're acting like you are in the hopes that it will, people see through that much of the time. The point is simply to relax and not worry about whether a girl (or boy) likes you or what you're doing to alienate them, and just be more content with whatever happens. I guess another way to put it is be happy with yourself, on your own terms, and never need anyone to complete you or make you better. If that makes you more attractive to someone as a byproduct of the mental health it brings, then you're more attractive because you are that way rather than because you seem that way, and any romance that comes out of it will be more rewarding because it's real.
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby FlamingDbag » March 13th, 2011, 7:42 am

Guys I sort of fucked up and let the pressure get to me, because I wrote "I need to calm down big time", then she ends up commenting what happened, I reply with thinking overload happened. Then she went ahead and wrote "good effort buddy. :p"
WHAT THE HELL ELSE WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN...

But... she took me admitting to her pretty well and said she's completely cool with being friends, and so did I. I've been talking to her about pretty much everything for 2 or 3 hours now, and I'm fucking lucky that she doesn't mind anything I say, and she's really easy to talk to and get along with. I'm amazed.

I'm not going to even bother trying to push it into that direction now though because I'm completely fine with it staying the way it is, but I guess we'll see where this goes...
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby Gibson Twist » March 13th, 2011, 10:50 am

Just hang. Be cool, be open, but don't try to force anything. Just let what happens happen.

I can promise, you will be happier if you stop worrying about it, and happy is more important than dating.
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