ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby FlamingDbag » March 14th, 2011, 2:11 am

Gibson Twist wrote:Just hang. Be cool, be open, but don't try to force anything. Just let what happens happen.

I can promise, you will be happier if you stop worrying about it, and happy is more important than dating.


That's pretty much what I'm going to do. Though I said that we hardly knew each other so I still want to try to get to know her, which she's also fine with (she was casually typing throughout the whole thing also anyway...), so I'm still going to try to sit on her table for that one class still.

I'm not going to force conversations/questions with her, I'm not going to try to make her feel uncomfortable, she's also actually suggested herself I should stop being so nervous with everyone and be more loose, so...
Whatever happens, if I notice she needs space though, I'll give it to her. If I notice I'm trying too hard, I'll pull back a bit. I'm focusing on friendships right now, not relationships.


And yes I need to also drum that into my head...




EDIT: I was forcefully made to sit next to her today in that one class, I thought if I sat on the other side of the table in front of her it wouldn't have seemed like I was trying too hard with her, but my friend took it as a race to that seat, so...

Well I did try a little harder to talk to her casually today in that class, too bad she still made me nervous and my goddamn friends more or less wouldn't let me get much word in... -_- At least, I pushed myself a bit harder to try be casual with my friends, with her next to me, and actually to her.

Seriously though it didn't help that she just randomly turns up to school today with make up and her hair done with more care then usual, I mean I even doubted if that was her or not, I couldn't tell until her friends surrounding her made it obvious. She was also holding a gift and a card in her hand, I know that obviously had nothing to do with me (that would be a little stupid to think that), but I still wonder what that was all about. Whatever I guess that's not important.

She tonight for some reason also took care about... a post and link about importing Mortal Kombat into Australia will get you fines. She actually said that sucks and why didn't I just download it. I told her about what's wrong with hacking and ect like I would've told any of my other friends, but... why is she caring?

Which reminds me she was actually talking about pokemon a decent bit in that class today when it got brought up somehow. That's a bit surprising too, maybe games don't bore her as much as I thought. Still wouldn't start a conversation about games with her just for logics sake...
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby YakkitySax » March 18th, 2011, 2:38 am

Maybe she actually likes the same things you do and that's why she cares?

You're still over-thinking what's going on with this whole situation. Like Gibson said, relax a little. If she seems interested in the things you are.. she probably IS.

She could just think you're an interesting person and wants to talk to you. There's been plenty of times where I've met someone for the first time and had some strange magnetism towards them. It wasn't a sexual attraction, just something about them seemed interesting to me and I wanted to get to know them better.

(Also, looking pretty and with a gift and card? It was probably her birthday.)
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby FlamingDbag » March 18th, 2011, 4:26 am

I don't think it was, her page says a different month.

I'm slowly calming down about this whole thing (thinking-too-hard wise) and I'm much better now then last weekend, I should be fine for now.

It wouldn't really be sexual attraction, it would be more likely shes interested since I prefer to keep silent until I actually decide I want to speak and the fact my hair as of now makes me look like I want to be shadowed out of groups.


I'll update you guys on it when something worth mentioning pops up, I guess.
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby FlamingDbag » March 20th, 2011, 10:23 pm

Oh shit guiz, she wants to come over at my friend game days. (I'm afraid she'll get bored but we do a lot of trash talking and stupid shit so maybe not...)

Also I can talk to her kind of easily now. I mean to her properly and not over the internet.

Not much else to say about it, but yeah...
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby Mr Aids » March 21st, 2011, 2:28 am

Hooray, progress.
kevansevans wrote:
robybang wrote:Also, it's the internet, people always argue over dumb stuff.

Nuh uh
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby FlamingDbag » March 26th, 2011, 8:23 am

I'm tired as hell right now but here we go anyway:

Ok so she came to my friendly game night thing, and it was just as fun as all the other days and ect. I think she had fun and she'll probably want to come again.

Just though, she left the room randomly without saying anything like 5 times throughout the whole thing, and twice it was to go outside to smoke (I caught her the first time she left the room out the front of my house smoking, I didn't make a big deal out of it I just said "okay" after asking what she was doing and closed the door when I found out. Though, that was a bit of a surprise why is this girl full of surprises...)-


-but I'm not impressed that she at like midnight she went outside the front door and took a walk down the block to see if she could tell her parents stuff that she would recognize to help her get to my house (we had all managed to fit into my puny car so everyone got driven to my house by my parents, her parents had not actually been to my house yet) WITHOUT TELLING ME. One of my friends beforehand was curious where she had gone so he went after her a few minutes she had left the house, but of course nobody thinks of coming back to say anything.
Then I start wondering why is it even taking longer then a minute for him to come back, so of course I go outside too and my remaining friend comes with me.

I walked up and down the street, waited, tried to look down all the way down the street for both sides to see where she and he went, then after 3 min I decided to go back home and get my mum to drive around a bit. Oh of course, we drive out of the driveway THERE THEY ARE WALKING BACK... I open the door while the car was moving at all, telling my mum to stop driving I can see them (for whatever reason she was going to keep driving even though I said to stop like 5 times...) THEN SHE TELLS ME WHAT SHE WAS DOING, AND HE SAYS HE WAS HELPING HER...

GODDAMN IT I THOUGHT YOU WERE SMOKING AGAIN... I told her "You need to tell me what you're doing next time, I thought you were just smoking again..." and obviously she apologized.
After that she got a small lecture from my mum (she said it in a normal calm voice) and then from my friends of which we compared it to horror movies and I said something like "even if it rarely happens, that shit actually can happen and you should always keep that in mind. Not let yourself worry about it, but consider it" after her saying that her friends told her it never happens. Then I just pushed it aside like it didn't happen and we continued doing whatever, but... I'm just disappointed at her decisions she took then. She knows I give more a damn then I should even though we're just very much friends at this point, she knew it was midnight, she knew that if something had happened to her shit would hit the fan for everyone, ect...

I don't think it crossed her mind to even tell anyone though, and judging from what I can tell from her she seems... damaged enough to think no one really cares about her, or not fully realize risks she takes. She's gotten drunk before, I had to give her the address again while she was already here for her mother (and I had pretty much emailed it to her half a week before), this doesn't matter too much I guess but she does a lot of hanging out with friends, and she said something about her mum and coming with a boyfriend and to not let her know we're home or something...
I guess that would also explain why she always also has this sort of depressed look on her face most of the time and she doesn't smile nearly as much as she probably should. ...That look is also probably why I still care about her so much.

I don't know I'm rambling now. Just... I don't think I want it to really go into that direction anymore after that scare (though it's a bit soon to just stop trying, but I can't deny it's certainly pushed it that direction), but I want to help her not be as damaged if I can, if I'm right with her actually feeling damaged. And then again, it also proved how little I knew about her.



I feel like I should be asking something now but don't really have anything in mind. I don't know, she's not a BAD person, or as stupid as most other kids I know because she can be very smart at times, and I hope my mum is wrong about it possibly could of been a stunt to see how everyone would react, but... I don't know, opinions on whatever?

Also the other friend that went after her, is very close to just being friends with her and he just wanted to help her with it, and that's true considering he has to walk everywhere so he would be better help with knowing roads then me anyway. So no real wrong ideas about that alright?

Thanks once more guys.
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby Gibson Twist » March 26th, 2011, 10:37 am

You're obsessing. I don't think you should talk to this girl anymore.
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby FlamingDbag » March 26th, 2011, 7:15 pm

I don't think I am nearly as much anymore right now after that, I mean what would I be getting myself into now if I keep heading that direction?

Just, her problems aren't my problems, but I still try to help my friends anyway by talking to them and ect over their stuff, even if I don't know or talk to them a great amount. Right now she's no different, but I'm not going to force her to take my help, like anyone of my friends. And I don't just give help randomly, it has to somehow get brought up first. And I can tell if I'm wasting my time or not, ect...
It'll probably just be sitting in the back of my mind for a long time for now though, and I'm not going to worry about it.

If I'm more fine with the whole thing staying as friends then it heading into that direction for once, I don't think I'm obsessing nearly as much as I've actually already have. She pushed the whole thing back pretty damn hard without intending to do it.


...That and it would be kind of random if I just suddenly stopped talking to her. She's in too many of my classes to just stop speaking to her altogether and it would be a kind of dick move no matter how anyone looks at it.
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby reverendjack » March 26th, 2011, 7:25 pm

the one thing i learned from observation and interaction - no one likes a creeper (especially girls). if you creep a girl out, your chances of being with her are next to nothing. if you are a creepy person in general, god help you - you either need to work on that or accept lifelong loneliness.
it's really all about confidence, always has been. confidence is the fine line between cockiness and creepiness.
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby FlamingDbag » April 13th, 2011, 7:31 am

Pft, I'll post this anyway even though I know where this already is and what to do now.

I've decided that she's so whatever with everything (going to even a point where she puts herself in risks that are extremely unnecessary, just like walking down a street with no phone at 12AM, and she doesn't even acknowledge the dangers she's taking or realise the stupidity of it all) that she's just simply not worth my time if she's just going to remain that way... She's done shit like that to herself, like what, 5 times now? Some of those times even putting others in danger?

Also she apparently got into a relationship with a person today, and I think she only knew him for just a week. And tbh, it looked like she kind of already had a boyfriend already beforehand on her wall but she was just simply kind of ignoring his pretty much hitting on her-ness.
Even if it were to end like next week, or a month later, or whatever, even if she's actually trying to test me- I'm not impressed and she needs to get her act together with too many things before I'll give a damn like that again...

Also when I admitted to her, on the same day I posted here, I clearly remember her saying "she's not a relationship person".
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And finally when I found out about it on facebook, I did feel cut at first but then a minute later an extreme urge to start burst laughing at how predictable this was came through. NOT REALLY A GOOD SIGN IF SHE WANTED ME TO CARE ABOUT IT... And now I seriously don't care.

I just hope to god she fixes herself up one day. She's not a bad person, and she can be smart when she actually chooses to be, and goddamn it her normal personality has charm, but well...
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby stripedwine » April 14th, 2011, 9:27 am

She sounds like a girl I know. Two girls, actually, but one of them I'm not going to talk about because it gets into major creepy territory to most people.

The one I can talk about is the one I know personally. We've spent about 3 years trying to figure her out: a bubbly personality despite a detrimental and potentially harmful complacency. She will do almost anything she's told for an apparent lack of caring either way, will maintain toxic friendships because "meh", and even started dating a guy she didn't really know without being aware that she was dating him.

Our theory is that she's just the most nihilistic a person can get while still maintaining a will to live. Add some codependency issues or somesuch, and I think we may have your girl. And yeah, I agree-- it would be best to avoid getting too close imo.
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Re: ONLY BEEN 2 WEEKS AND...

Postby kyupol » April 15th, 2011, 8:07 pm

build up your inner strength first.

de-program your mind in such a way that it stops seeking the approval of any human.

Relationships are over-rated to begin with. Most of it is about one person being the bully and the other being the coward.

I wish I knew this when I was 17 years old. Could have saved me alot of pain and misery and suicide attempts. lol

Cheers.
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