Why are you pushing this?

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Re: Why are you pushing this?

Postby Sonic-ock » April 10th, 2011, 3:37 pm

have sex with them, these guys clearly have some pent up sexual issues and this might be the best way to sort it out. You want them to drop the issue and they want you to get laid, everyone wins.
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Re: Why are you pushing this?

Postby Antitime » April 10th, 2011, 4:13 pm

I'll let you know, Vito, that for the longest time I've considered myself asexual. I don't care about sex, I don't have a sex drive, I find most guys creepy and disgusting, and I honestly just preffer not being in a relationship. I think the most sexual experiences I've ever had were with a gay guy, and that's because he's touchy-feely beyond normal. however, this is just not acceptable to most people, who keep asking me when I'm going to get a boyfriend, teasing me about guys I talk about in hopes that I'll jump up and proclaim my love for them.
I've only had feelings for one guy in my entire life, and he was the only one I wanted to do anything with, and even then, we just didn't. We weren't even in a relationship, either. People will say it's because you lack confidence or think you're ugly or something, but I don't feel that way at all.
Some people are just like that. There's nothing wrong with that, despite what society tries to tell you. Your friends just want you to be happy, and don't realize that you may not be interested, or ready, and that's that. What I would do is lie and say there's someone on the internet you're interested in. That may not satisfy them fully, but should be enough to get them off your back for a little. Most people I know have given up on pushing me to find someone, realizing that I'm different from most people my age and that's that.
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Re: Why are you pushing this?

Postby Gibson Twist » April 10th, 2011, 6:51 pm

Devil's advocate...

Being in a bad, mildly self-destructive relationship with someone you don't really like can be a really good character builder, if for no other reason than it can teach you what it is about yourself that you need to reign in to be a good partner, and what it is about potential partners that you want/cannot stand. I really doubt I would be the kind of husband I am if it hadn't been for all the crazy hippies and flakes I dated, and the mirror they put in front of me about the kind of person I was and wanted to be.

It can be like job experience...no one's first job should ever be the one they work forever. You get a crappy one that drives you crazy and you feel like quitting all the time, and you do that a few times until your resume looks good and you've got all kinds of experience that helps you land that really good gig when you're a bit older.

If you just never get the feeling that you want to be with someone romantically, then don't, but if you're holding out for someone perfect, you are doing yourself a disservice. Sometimes, especially when you're young, it's enough just to hang around and fool around with someone, for no other reason than having fun. If it lasts for a night or for weeks, months, years (gasp) as long as it's fun and you're enjoying the company, it never has to be more serious than that.

But, again, yes, if you just don't want to get involved on any level, don't and never let anyone tie you down with their idea of what normal is.
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Re: Why are you pushing this?

Postby Antitime » April 10th, 2011, 7:49 pm

nah, I totally agree with Gibson's advocating Satan.
sometimes I wish I'd had shitty experiences so I could truly appreciate the good ones. But alas, I am a shutin who avoids contact with people for the most part. And sometimes dresses as lady gaga on holidays.
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Re: Why are you pushing this?

Postby Vitotamito » April 11th, 2011, 1:59 am

ejcoletta wrote:My college roomie didn't become interested in love or sex until she was 28. She refused to date someone if she wasn't in love. While her "friends" mercilessly teased her and tried to coax her into coming out as a lesbian (they really couldn't fathom an happy celibate girl so they thought she was in the closet) she remained dateless. Now she's in the relationship of her dreams with a man she finds attractive, funny, hard-working and shares her interests. And I never imagined her ever dating. She really, really, really wasn't interested in sex, even in her mid twenties. She wasn't a prude--she just wouldn't put herself out there for someone she felt like she was "settling" for. Now I'm in her wedding party as one of her brides maids. So there.


Those two things are my situation to a T basically.

Another big problem to add to this who thing is that I'm TERRIBLY SHALLOW. To the point where I showed them the people I was interested in recently over the past couple years, and they laughed out loud. (Unfortunately, also, both of these girls currently are in relationships).

We did the whole, "Well why do you like these girls?" thing, and apparently the amount of specification I was laying out for them in terms of what I am remotely interested in for a girl was mind-boggling to them. I'll ride my bike until I can get a Lambo, thank you. Of course, I'm not completely not interested in sex, at one point I may have considered myself asexual, but not really so much anymore. More like Lazy, Apathetic, and Busy. There are a lot of things that, especially after they pushed the subject again today, I kind of figured out as well. Some of which has been touched on briefly.

I'm sure not all relationships are like that, but it seems like too much time and effort for me for now. Hell, I hang out with friends about once a month or so; spending every day going out or talking with a date is unfathomable.


THIS is one of them. I have serious issues even picking up the phone to call people. I will write an entire page of notes out in front of me for the most simple phone calls. I don't feel like I have anything to talk about with people other than the weather.

Keep this in mind, though...your friends are gonna get some girl pregnant and that's it for them, while you'll still be able to party the shit out of your 20s. High five!

Brofist. Though, my friends who are all telling me this are in pretty healthy relationships and one is soon to be getting married himself.

"Hell, I don't even want to date. Hate dealing with other people's crap. Takes time away from me."


This is a beyond awesome quote.

Not to mention that I would probably be a bad boyfriend to the ones that people are hooking me up with.


Also this. Not to mention the very idea of having sex with me is something that people could make comedy movie gold out of. Nothing in the world would be funnier.

Who think being in a relationship is the most beautiful fucking thing ever and that everyone should be in it too.


EXACTLY. I don't care that finding this girl was the best that thing ever happened to you.

Every relationship I've been in before this one, I spent most of the time wishing it would end.


I see this. Day in and day out I see this. I saw it all through high school. I saw it all through college. I don't want to see it happen to me.
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Re: Why are you pushing this?

Postby Gibson Twist » April 11th, 2011, 2:22 am

Vitotamito wrote:one is soon to be getting married himself.


Hundred bucks says they'll be divorced by 30.
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Re: Why are you pushing this?

Postby Guest » April 11th, 2011, 2:46 am

i feel the same (obviously it's more normal for me cuz i'm younger but...)
who really cares?
from what i picked up from you, you seem like the same type of person as i am, or rather i'm the same as you, i may be wrong but you seem like the type who'd rather stay at home on the computer rather than going and flirting with girls and partying and all that jazz..

seriously though if you don't want to, you don't want to. do they want a perfect match for you to pop out of thin air and land in your arms? no i doesn't work like that.

personally i like my friend but i wouldn't think of asking her out cuz i'd just feel awkward when around her, when around my other girl friends and awkward around other guys that like her, that i wouldn't be able to sit still during class not to mention , what about when we brake up, yeah, i'd lose one of my best friends..relationships are just so stressful and not worth it unless you're really serious about it
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Re: Why are you pushing this?

Postby mossi-mo » April 15th, 2011, 4:47 pm

I don't understand why people immediately think something is wrong with you if you don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend after a certain age. You're perfectly fine. The bachelor life just may be your thing, and it's nobody's business who you do or do not get together with.

I have not had a boyfriend and I'm nearly 21. My parents have secretly decided that I'm a closet lesbian( and for several reasons, I'm not), since all of the other women in my family were preparing to get married around this age. It's definitely annoying but I've requested that they not badger me about it anymore. Your friends should let you be.

How about you tell them that when you're ready to get hooked up, you'll ask them to play matchmaker.
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Re: Why are you pushing this?

Postby kyupol » April 15th, 2011, 8:00 pm

girlfriends are over-rated. Alot of em dont know how to love anyway to begin with. Not just women. But both genders. Got the humanity brainwashed out of them. Check out roy masters, alan watt, igor ledochowski, henry makow, etc. and they can explain it down to the last detail.

Just get on with your life and be happy. Ignore them.

You have no idea how many dysfunctional families I've encountered. Enough to severely traumatize me into just saying F it when it comes to trying to get a girlfriend. lol

Cheers.
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Re: Why are you pushing this?

Postby Reigan » April 15th, 2011, 8:14 pm

Relationships are scary.
Heck, even my most shy of friends have had a boyfriend or two.
But me?
That shit's scary. No thanks.

One time I was friends with this guy, and the very first conversation with him was how I never really understood teenage relationships (of course, this makes my situation different from yours) and how I never wanted to be with one untill I was sure I was ready. Great first impression. Then all my friends starting saying things like how we should start dating and the like, and it confused me a lot. I haven't talked to him in a good five months.
He was really the first (and probably last) friend I had of the opposite gender.

I already have a head start, if you didn't notice.
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Re: Why are you pushing this?

Postby Vitotamito » April 15th, 2011, 9:20 pm

Reigan wrote:One time I was friends with this guy, and the very first conversation with him was how I never really understood teenage relationships (of course, this makes my situation different from yours) and how I never wanted to be with one untill I was sure I was ready. Great first impression. Then all my friends starting saying things like how we should start dating and the like, and it confused me a lot. I haven't talked to him in a good five months.
He was really the first (and probably last) friend I had of the opposite gender.

I already have a head start, if you didn't notice.


Back in Elementary School (4th Grade) I had a relationship! Um... things were different back then. I was young, it was the 90s...

In Middle School I asked girls out who were waaaaay out of my league, and got rejected twice.

Don't know what this adds to the topic, but I'm just saying...
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Re: Why are you pushing this?

Postby Reigan » April 15th, 2011, 9:49 pm

The only time I got asked out was in Elementary school; random people would go up to you and ask "Do you wanna go out with so and so?!" and if you said yes they'd laugh, run away, come back, and say that the other person broke up with them. Good thing I was too smart for that.

But really, I'm not interested in any romantic relationships whatsoever... I honestly don't see the big deal. All of the guys I know of are absolute asshats, so I guess I don't have to worry either way :'D
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