Anger Issues

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Anger Issues

Postby Reigan » March 30th, 2011, 7:24 pm

Well, ever since I was young, I've always been a very anger little angry girl. My favorite hobby used to be slamming doors.
A couple of years back, I lost a lot of weight, and decided to not just become healthier physically, but mentally too. I became more aware of my emotions, cared more for others, and just became a nicer person all around.

Though I don't think I've managed to control my anger much.

You see, when I was twelve-ish(?) my brother had gotten me so angry that I began to throw butter knives at him (they're heavy, you know). I have no idea what he had said, and I have to wonder because I had never done anything like that before, and he's the only one who can get me so angry. It didn't help that he was laughing his head off as if he was playing a game, which only infuriated me more.

After I changed, I thought that all of that was behind me, but apparently not. Just last year, the same thing happened again, except this time I went for the Steak Knives first. Again, it was the same scene: me sobbing my eyes out in frustration while practically shrieking curses at him (good thing that my parents weren't home for neither of these times), while he laughed merrily, jumping in the air like a rabbit to dodge the sharp oncoming objects (I actually have horrible aim).

After that, I knew that I hadn't changed as much as I thought I had.

I know when I'm angry, and I usually remove myself from others if possible at these times, but when I'm either home by myself or my brother is there, I'll go nuts. Only yesterday, nothing was working for me. My computer had gotten updated, so none of the programs were on it (Photoshop, Tablet, ect) and I knew I had that MLP page that I really wanted to get started. So I took out the Adobe disk, popped it in the computer, and began reading the instructions.
Nothing happened, and I began to grow frustrated. I read the instructions again, but it went in one ear, and out the other; I honestly couldn't understand it. Only after about five minutes of trying did I give up, ripping my headphones from its plug violently. Now my headphones are pretty much broken (I have to twist it around for it to work properly), and since my computer has no speakers, they can't even produce sound now because I think I broke the brand new jack in there to, and it wont play any sound when the headphones are plugged in.

Usually, when I'm angry, I want to break things that are important to me; right now this usually means grabbing my sketchbook and tearing every page inside of it to itty-bitty pieces. But I knew I was pointlessly mad, so I didn't. Honestly, though, at that moment, I just didn't care all that much. Knowing that I was overreacting, I went to my room, threw my headphones at the wall, and proceeded to somewhat cry.

I know I'm just a teenager, and I can easily blame this on hormones... but is this normal behavior? Throwing knives at people? I mean, I can control my anger in public, I would never do this to anyone else, but it still worries me.

tl;dr: I think I have trouble controlling my anger/frustration.

*Resists the urge to delete this thread before she can post it*
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Re: Anger Issues

Postby MacSimon » March 30th, 2011, 10:27 pm

I had Anger Issues in the past, mainly because of frustration and sister's hijinks.

I basically made the usual choices, count to 10, and, in cases of frustration, leave it alone for a while until i figure how can i solve it.
I also started drinking tea, i don't think there's a scientific fact or anything like that, but tea really calmed me down. I don't even know how.
Oh, and some 'Air' albums, but i think that's more of a personal part.

I hope it helps you, Reigan, i'm not really sure if this is the best advice you can get, but it's how i dealed with them. : )
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Re: Anger Issues

Postby xkrazydog » March 30th, 2011, 11:04 pm

I too have anger issues though I vent it out through rants and angry bitching, rather than physical violence. But who knows if i'll ever teeter over to the edge. I think you need to find an outlet for it somehow or talk to people about it. I wouldnt bottle it in though, that would lead to an outburst of emotion and quite possibly thoughts of suicide.
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Re: Anger Issues

Postby Loverofpiggies » March 30th, 2011, 11:06 pm

MacSimon wrote:I had Anger Issues in the past, mainly because of frustration and sister's hijinks.
This for me too, unfortunately it still happens. All the time. *to the subject* When I got angry, I used to throw ice at the street. It does AMAZING with anger, calms you down, and still breaks something when you want to. I also scream, but I try to just throw ice. Owl City also helped me, they make me feel fuzzies when I listen to them. So listen to a calm or fun band to help put you in a better mood. Aqua works well with that too.
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Re: Anger Issues

Postby Gibson Twist » March 30th, 2011, 11:53 pm

I hope you don't think this is too harsh, but you may have a real problem, and you may need real help. I know it's not easy to admit, but you made the thread so you must realize something's wrong. There are a lot of things people can do to cope on their own, but sometimes people need someone else to talk them through it. Your reactions sound a little more severe than counting to 10 can fix. If there's anyone, a school counselor maybe, you might want to talk to them and find out your options. There's no shame in this, I hope you know that.
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Re: Anger Issues

Postby blankd » March 31st, 2011, 12:14 am

Throwing things is never a good sign, refrain from it. Don't go after your precious things, get some actual de-stresser items (things you can squeeze) or some pillows you can punch if passive methods don't work. There are lots of ways to vent and your brother is not one you should be expecting to help you cope with the problem. REFRAIN FROM [OBJECT] THROWING AT ALL COSTS.

Make an active effort, it'll be hard but getting a grip on your anger takes priority to showing your brother force. Control your anger, don't let it control you.
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Re: Anger Issues

Postby corruption » March 31st, 2011, 2:44 am

Normally I do not get angry like that. When I get angry, I like to think about ways or making whoever is responsible suffer in ways Satan would find sickening.

When you act in anger, you just make things worse, so try to remember that. Think to yourself: vent, but not self destructively. Maybe take up a sport that allows you to bash the fucking sh!t out of something, like boxing. Another form of venting is making comics about what p!sses you off. It's good as a low level vent.

When it comes to things like your computer and the music, always have a backup prepared just in case things go wrong. That way you have less problems in the long run. It may take a bit longer in the short term, but it is much better then a major long term stuff up.

If your brother is laughing while you throw sharp knives at him, I would say you either have such terrible aim he does not feel threatened, or that he has a serious problem himself. Make sure the knives don't damage anything other then him. (I must admit I've been there once myself, as the thrower.)
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Re: Anger Issues

Postby Gibson Twist » March 31st, 2011, 8:52 am

corruption wrote:Normally I do not get angry like that. When I get angry, I like to think about ways or making whoever is responsible suffer in ways Satan would find sickening.

When you act in anger, you just make things worse, so try to remember that. Think to yourself: vent, but not self destructively. Maybe take up a sport that allows you to bash the fucking sh!t out of something, like boxing. Another form of venting is making comics about what p!sses you off. It's good as a low level vent.

When it comes to things like your computer and the music, always have a backup prepared just in case things go wrong. That way you have less problems in the long run. It may take a bit longer in the short term, but it is much better then a major long term stuff up.

If your brother is laughing while you throw sharp knives at him, I would say you either have such terrible aim he does not feel threatened, or that he has a serious problem himself. Make sure the knives don't damage anything other then him. (I must admit I've been there once myself, as the thrower.)


This is incredibly bad advice. From start to finish, maybe the worst advice ever.
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Re: Anger Issues

Postby Reigan » March 31st, 2011, 2:56 pm

Thanks guys; I was honestly regretting ever posting this for fear of people thinking I was crazy, but I'm glad to have such good people giving good advice : )

I would complain/vent about these problems to my friends, but I'm afraid to sound too whiny. One of my friends would say "Go die you emo bitch" in a joking tone if somebody complained too much. Don't get me wrong--- they're great friends, some of the best I've ever had, but I'm the happy-go-lucky person of our group of six; I can't whine too much. Even if I do, I have to quickly get over it because I'm afraid that it'll catch onto them (they're prone to bad moods sometimes) and then it's no fun for anybody.

I wish I could go to my guidance councilor, but he's been out for a good four weeks, and there's no sign of him coming back anytime soon (I'm honestly starting to think he died or something...) and I'm just not comfortable enough to vent to a total stranger. I don't want to sound all: "Oh my life sucks, PITY ME DAMMIT!" but to tell you the truth, I've never really spoken about my feelings before to anyone (maybe when I was six or something, but that doesn't count). I just don't like to complain, because it makes me sound like a spoiled bitch. Also, I'm always afraid that I'm overreacting; trying to make my life sound like a living hell when it's not. I know people my age: they love to do that, and if you say something mildly depressing, they'll jump on it and say they understand and that it's normal. But I don't want some other girl to understand, because it makes me feel as if I'm blowing everything out of proportion.

And when I'm angry (real angry), I do realize this, and I can usually resist the urge to break everything within arms-length. But it's hard to do the ten-second breathing thing because I'm not thinking straight at these moments, and I just stop caring about what I do.

I am in Kickboxing (in fact, I have class in a half an hour) but they're not untill evening, and ususally by then my anger has simmered down. And those stress-balls stress me out more because I can't squish them xD

And I have no trouble admitting this; I think I've comes to terms with this a long while ago. But I just thought I had fixed it.
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Re: Anger Issues

Postby ParadoxComic » March 31st, 2011, 3:13 pm

I really think you should find some professional help in one way or another. My dad has horrible anger issues, but he ignored getting help for it until he finally snapped and strangled someone. Since then he's been to anger therapy and gotten medication, and he's much, much better. From the sounds of it, you're at the level where you need to get help, and counting off some numbers won't do any good.

It really is uncomfortable to talk to a stranger, but believe me, it would help you a lot. A therapist won't think you're looking for attention, it's their job to help people with issues just like this.
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Re: Anger Issues

Postby corruption » April 1st, 2011, 12:54 am

Gibson Twist wrote:
corruption wrote:Normally I do not get angry like that. When I get angry, I like to think about ways or making whoever is responsible suffer in ways Satan would find sickening.

When you act in anger, you just make things worse, so try to remember that. Think to yourself: vent, but not self destructively. Maybe take up a sport that allows you to bash the fucking sh!t out of something, like boxing. Another form of venting is making comics about what p!sses you off. It's good as a low level vent.

When it comes to things like your computer and the music, always have a backup prepared just in case things go wrong. That way you have less problems in the long run. It may take a bit longer in the short term, but it is much better then a major long term stuff up.

If your brother is laughing while you throw sharp knives at him, I would say you either have such terrible aim he does not feel threatened, or that he has a serious problem himself. Make sure the knives don't damage anything other then him. (I must admit I've been there once myself, as the thrower.)


This is incredibly bad advice. From start to finish, maybe the worst advice ever.


Here is my reasoning.

When I get angry, I find it better to think about doing horrible things then to let it build up and go nuts. It is kind of a vent. Some people try this, and make webcomics out of the ideas that come to them. Some are quite good and I consider them insperational for my own thoughts.

When you act in anger, you are irrational and more likely to do something stupid that just makes the problem much worse.

She mentioned the takes up kickboxing, but by the time it starts she anger has passed mostly. I recommend getting one of those practise things for kicking in her house. That way she does not have to let it build up while waiting.

Things will always go wrong somewhere. I find it good in general to to always have things ready so even if there is a fuckup somewhere then it won't be such a problem. More of a bother in the short term, but much less of a bother in the long term.

Her brother has a problem where he thinks having someone throwing knives at him is fun. That is messed up and he needs help!

Still think it is the worst advise ever? If so, you do not want to know what kind of advise I refrain from giving as I know it would get me banned. I may be twisted and as my name says, Corruption, all the way through, but my advise always has reasons behind it most people can't see at first glance.


Now for new matters

She mentioned she hides it from her friends. To her I say;
Tell them about it. It is better they learn from you telling them then you going nuts and attacking someone. Also, they would not only be surprised, but hurt at you hidding it from them. They can help you. You don't have to go on about the details and vent to them, but let them know about your problem. Consider how you would feel if one of your close friends was hidding something important, and not being honest with you. That is how they would feel if they find out from any source other then you telling them.

Hidding it from them is also a source of stress, and you don't want any you don't have to have.
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Re: Anger Issues

Postby TezzIe » April 1st, 2011, 5:14 am

Don't be angry.
Sonic-ock wrote:Now look, I'm not trying to be offensive here, and some of my very best friends are yaoi, I just think they need to learn english and get a job.
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Re: Anger Issues

Postby Gibson Twist » April 1st, 2011, 11:20 am

corruption wrote:Still think it is the worst advise ever?


Yes.
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Re: Anger Issues

Postby Reigan » April 2nd, 2011, 3:06 pm

Is it okay to reply on this thread now? I didn't yesterday because this kind of topic shouldn't be brought around on April Fools : P

ParadoxComic wrote:I really think you should find some professional help in one way or another. My dad has horrible anger issues, but he ignored getting help for it until he finally snapped and strangled someone. Since then he's been to anger therapy and gotten medication, and he's much, much better. From the sounds of it, you're at the level where you need to get help, and counting off some numbers won't do any good.

It really is uncomfortable to talk to a stranger, but believe me, it would help you a lot. A therapist won't think you're looking for attention, it's their job to help people with issues just like this.


I would go to a professional, but then my parents would find out, and I'd rather shout all of my problems out in a crowded area then let that happen. Me and my parents don't have the best relationship, especially my mother. I don't hate them or anything; they're great parents, but we're just not that close at all. I hate to see them worry over me, and it's not because of guilt, but because it makes me feel awkward, and sometimes even angry towards them. I don't have anyone that I could trust with this, really.
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Re: Anger Issues

Postby Gibson Twist » April 2nd, 2011, 3:57 pm

I hesitate to suggest this, but are you or your family at all involved in any sort of religion? I mean, do you have a church/synogogue/mosque/community centre of any kind? I know, depending on the congregation, you may be able to talk to someone there. I know when I was a kid, I was able to talk to a couple of our pastors when I would have problems. It's dicey, especially if your family is also involved in the congregation, there's a risk that they may talk to your family, but I think a lot of the time, clergy tends to be quite discreet. If you can find someone that will talk with you and not put the issue off on god, it might help. Some churches have secular outreach as well.

I don't know where you live, but you could check out any kind of free clinics in your area.
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